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March 3, 2004
Where's the Washing Machine?

by Talal Sarwani

There's a very interesting worldwide phenomena taking place among the Muslim youth of today. Everyone's favorite bit of Sunnah has become the advice of the Prophet (SA'AS) to get married aysap. Alhamdulillah, the wisdom of that advice is nothing short of Divine, but the abuse of that advice is causing much trouble in the Ummah today. That trouble has manifested itself into one of the hated of what is Halaal: Talaq (Divorce). Kids are getting married right and left, lost in some romanticized version of what married life seems to be about, and the second they find themselves stuck in a mud of responsiblity, it's time to flip out the cell phone and SMS your significant other:

I divorce you
I divorce you
I divorce you
Indeed, it is a time of cowards.

So I set out to investigate what was causing this desperate desire for the Great Hookup. What did I find? Were the beards really growin' and the brows left un-threaded? Were the kufis being worn and the hijabs being tightened? Was the thawb and the 'abaya truly being donned? Was the scent of 'oud aromafying the surroundings? Read on, brothers and sisters, read on for the truth....

The number one danger towards the one who is single, is to be around those who have newly become doubles. It's been referred to in the past as The Fever. The Fever is not just the feeling that one needs to get hitched, it's the malady that causes such feelings simply from having attended the hitching ceremonies of all-too-many people in an all-too-short amount of time. For proof of the existence of this syndrome, please go up to any brother (Though I claim to know their perspective as well, out of respect, I shall take the fifth as far as sisters are concerned) during the summer, especially during this Summer of a Thousand Weddings. You'll hear the usual talk of empty hearts needing companionship, of guys swooning over she who looked back and if you're around one after someone else's wedding, a feeling of slight dejection rather than complete happiness for his just betrothed brother and sister. The Fever is a powerful thing, taking over the life of he or she who is stung by it, causing him or her to find themselves raising their hands to Allah every night, asking for either the filling of their empty hearts or at the very least a respite from their feelings. So, brothas and sistas, if you find yourself in this most unwanted predicament, the prescription is as follows:
Step 1: Lower your gaze
Step 2: Pray for the feeling to go away
Step 3: Lower your gaze
Step 4: Don't talk to others about your predicament (you'll realize they're in the same hole, and then the both of you will wallow in each other's misery)
Step 5: Lower your gaze
Rinse. Spit. Repeat.
InshaAllah The Fever should soon subside and all will be back to normal. HOWEVER, say the ol' heart sparks at the just barely-sighted-glance of a certain someone, then be sure to follow the following steps. Now, keep in mind this is the ONLY acceptable follow-up to that "cue the chorus" moment. Consider this your final warning not to join certain committees of certain organizations, "accidentally" finding certain someones sitting there.
BONUS:
Step 6: ISTIKHARA TIME!!!!!!!!
Possible Step 7 for Brothers: Be a Man. Call her parents.
Possible Step 7 for Sisters: Just sit there all coy and shy (I keed, I keed).
This prescription is signed and endorsed by Shaykh (of the Polaroid Picture kind) Ishq ibn Al-Hubbatani, so you better believe it works.

There is however a lot more that contributes to the I Think I Love You, Marry Me syndrome plaguing the Ummah today. The majority of these causes rests in the realm of what a brother once said: "Blame it on the Deen".

The Romantic Islam


As a preface to what follows, let me say that this topic includes far more than I can write about in this space, so I'm not gonna cover anything... I mean everything. There's literally an incredible amount of things that fall into The Romantic Islam, but I'll just touch upon these two of varying extremes, to give you just a taste of what I mean.

I'm using the word romantic not in the sense of an ideal, but in the plain old Qais/Majnu/Romeo and their Lailas/Juliet sense. These are those bits (according to the very doubtable research done for this) of Islam that when people gain knowledge of them, at a certain time of their lives, in that certain state of mind, all havoc lets loose, the hearts open up in need, and the shaitaan is called in for playtime.

You... complete... me...

When Tom Cruise uttered those words to his love in Jerry McGuire, the heart of every woman in movie theaters around the world let out a collective sigh. If only they knew what Muslimahs had already known for centuries, or at least what they did, once, know. I'm referring to the oft-repeated hadith of the Lone Hearted:
Narrated by Anas, who reported that the Prophet(SA'AS) said:
When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion...
We are the creations of a Creator who knows our innards better than we know our names, so when we experience this wisdom that has been passed down to us, our hearts yell: SUBHANALLAH!!! I NEED to get married. Let's just face it, this hadith makes everyone feel good about things, and is among the greatest proliferators of Wandering Heart technology. Do note the "...", because you rarely ever hear the rest of the hadith:
so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half.
'Nuff said, yo. Fo schizzle.

Sweet Nothings

Ahem, the following is a very interesting tidbit. It's something I gleaned from a brother in whom the desire to be wed was gnawing at him from the inside. We were in a room with just pillows on the floor to chill on. It of course happened to be a time of someone else's wedding, which is why I just sat relaxing after a long night of partying with the *cough*aunties*cough*. So, this brother comes up to me, with a copy of Sahih Bukhari of all things, and he prompts me to read:
Volume 2, Book 21, Number 258:
Narrated 'Aisha :

After offering the Sunna of the Fajr prayer, the Prophet used to talk to me, if I happened to be awake; otherwise he would lie down till the Iqama call was proclaimed (for the Fajr prayer).

"Alright", I thought, "so?". He plopped himself down onto the floor, and with a bleary-eyed look, said: "Wouldn't it be amazing to have someone to talk to when you walk up a little early for Fajr?". Let's just say he didn't take too kindly at me falling over from laughter nor my suggestion that he could always give me a call anytime he feels lonely at that hour. If you're in this state. brothers and sisters, please follow the prescription given to you above, and inshaAllah spare the rest of us from stomach-hurting hilarity.

The End of This

Alas, all great things come to an end, as must this column. I just barely touched upon what I really wanted to talk about, but my mind is not in a state of organization, so I leave you with this little conclusion. Realize that marriage isn't a joke or little fling you go through. It's a responsibility, where the third party in the trust between a husband and wife is Allah. All this talk of love and all that jazz is a distraction, so pay little attention to it. There is someone for whom you are meant, inshaAllah, so take care of your personal half of your deen, and Allah will provide you with the best of companionship. Take the halaal way, and you'll feel it yourself. The second the Nikah is done, the man and woman are infused with a feeling of rahmah towards each other granted to them by Allah. It's akin to that sudden mercy felt by one who has just become a parent. It's not something you can understand beforehand. There's lots of things in Islam that stir the hearts, but they are there to convince you of the correctness of the Straight Path. Don't let the shaitaan lead you astray when he discovers the state of your heart and mind. Seek refuge and establish trust in Allah, for that is the only way to keep yourself on the Sirat-Al-Mustaqeem. Someone once questioned the hurried rush to marriage seen in the Ummah, and couldn't understand how they took that step when they didn't even have a way of supporting a family. "When you're capable of getting her the washing machine, then you're ready to begin a life together".
So, I humbly bow out, going back to saving a little every two weeks, so that I can inshaAllah buy whatever washing machine her heart desires :) <-- sarcasm alert for the troublemakers among you

If I offended anyone, forgive me, inshaAllah. Oh, and to those souls who recently have been, or soon will be paired back to those they were with in Fitra, our Du'as are with you. May Allah grant you all the best in the Dunya and the Hereafter.. Ameen, Ameen, Ya Rabbil 'Alameen.

Peace out,
wa alaikum as salaam,
I'm the cool MC with a vicious sound.
I ain't from the Bronx, but I still boogie down.

of and relating to...
Wajahat Gilani said

assalaamualaikum Talal,

So who's the lucky sister?

walaikumsalaam
Wajahat Gilani

on March 3, 2004 9:12 AM
Gillette said

"THere is ONE person for whom you are mean, inshaAllah"

What about polygamy?

If anyone thinks that Talal should start writing for hidaya, e-mail him at talal@eden.rutgers.edu and tell him to write every week.

I vote that he should.

on March 3, 2004 9:58 AM
Rami said

Aslaam Aleikum Warahmatulah Wabarakatu,

"...he could always give me a call anytime he feels lonely at that hour."

Hehehe...I like that one.

Oh, and you are also definitely right about one thing; that is the first time I ever heard the second part of that hadith....quite interesting indeed.

on March 3, 2004 5:20 PM
Gillette said

When I googled "When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion..." the first time that the hadith showed up (with the second half) was on a Christian website (http://www.church-weddings.co.uk/islamicindex.htm)

on March 3, 2004 8:10 PM
Nadia said

Mashallah. An amazing article. Couldn't stop laughing.lol@Br.Gillette's comment. Yes, you should definitely start writing on a weekly basis. All hidaya seekers here won't mind a little bit of laughter once a week. May Allah(swt) give you and all others who are going through hard times due to the loss or sickness of someone patience and courage. Ameen.

on March 3, 2004 8:28 PM
Ayan said

The funny thing is, half of the articles on this site are about marriage.

on March 4, 2004 11:47 AM
Faisal Akhtar said

Assalam-o-alaikom

Our Prophet (SAW) said

"O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power." Bukhari:5066

Maybe this point can be added to the cure posted above? Well written Mahsallah

Faisal Akhtar
source
www.islam-qa.com

on March 4, 2004 9:28 PM
Fihi said

I also vote for Mr. Talal to write every week.

on March 5, 2004 6:27 AM
Salah Issa said

Great article,

the funny thing is that my sister is getting married in two weeks

on March 6, 2004 1:05 PM
Ameer Ar-Rutgereen aka Notorious Fundo aka Ali Ibn Masood said

Ayan said,
"The funny thing is, half of the articles on this site are about marriage."

NO, the funniest thing is that the people who make these type of remarks are the people usually looking to get married :)

on March 7, 2004 12:41 AM
Yu Ki said

Assalamu'alaikum,

he hits his points home in a nice way ^_^ anywayz, i just knew this site (smile)

on March 8, 2004 8:06 AM
Justoju said

"Were the beards really growin and the brows left un-threaded?"

I know many sisters with beards. mashaAllah.

Bro Talal-- please write every week so that the amusement may continue.


on March 17, 2004 6:38 PM
Justoju said

Oh and rambling side note w/advice-- there might be the slight chance that she is willing to forego the washing machine and wash all the laundry by hand...because she would much rather have you spend that money financing a study trip for the two of you to the mideast so that you may both become of the ulema...

now THAT is called providing...

So never underestimate the power of attraction an islamicly ambitious roadmap into the future holds...with many femmes it is what makes or breaks the guy's luck with her...much like whether or not he has a decent beard...

but either way, ur gonna need the benjamin$ cuz I am sure by this point she is very much attached to her other kidney (as well as other in-demand organs) and wont relish the mujahida of rowing her way around the Cape of Good Hope...

on March 18, 2004 1:45 PM
Jannah said

Salaam,

That was hilarious and needed.. so is this stuff copyrighted? IQRA Online, of RU-Newark, would love to use this one for our upcoming issue.

on March 19, 2004 1:28 AM
Talal said

Sister(I'm guessin) Jannah,

Since ye asked, you can go ahead and use the piece if you really want to. Just include something like "from hidayaonline.com" inshaAllah.

InshaAllah I'll formalize the "licensing" of articles in the coming weeks, until then, just ask, and you shall receive.

salaams,
Talal

on March 19, 2004 12:39 PM
ladylawyer said

To the author: May we use this for publication in the Islamic Center of MN Newsletter?

Sumbal:

communicationdirector@hotmail.com

on March 22, 2004 11:53 AM
Humayun said

Wow nice article mashllah.

I feel like singing romantic Indian songs now......

on March 22, 2004 5:01 PM
Justoju said

yes, like the super hit "bas aik washing machine chahiyay...aashiqui kai liyay"

on March 22, 2004 5:08 PM
Saima said

lol bintabbas

i'd love to meet you :)

on March 22, 2004 10:33 PM
Justoju said

AssalamuAlaikum,

JazakAllah khair sister Saima for your kindness :). I believe that for the sake of truth (and beneficial levity), some things need to be said. At the same time I am very big on people not exposing the recesses of their personality and showing their deeply 'personal' and witty side to every/any nonmahram that comes along.
I generally like to be honest with the people who I interact with and am willing to lay my heart and emotions bare for the sake of sincerity when I write--and I dont think any nonmahram has the right to know that side of me. So the solution: write incognito...So sweetheart, that is why I prefer to write under anonymity and if I thought people knew who I was, I wouldnt write :).

Who knows, you might even bump into me tommorrow;)

WasalaamuAlaikum

on March 23, 2004 1:15 AM
Saima said

(c:

on March 24, 2004 12:22 AM
Asma said

I guess I was the honored soul to bump into her today!!!

on March 24, 2004 12:50 AM
Justoju said

Asma, you are lucky you are a girl. If you were a guy I would have been forced to have my tribe of paan-spitting bearded aborigines hunt you down by scent, perform a ritual spear-dance around your bound and gagged vicco turmeric ayurvedic cream marinated body, and then stone you with old foot-crust covered masjid chappals for having thus dishonored me...but ur a girl and I like you so is all good:)

on March 24, 2004 1:27 AM
Sarah said

Salams..

Dude...the marriage market is all tech. based now...ahem ahem:
NASEEBBB!!!

And the way it's going..I may be the last person on earth who refuses to naseeb it..

if u don't know what I'm talking about...be patient grasshopper...you'll check your email one day lo behold the invitation will be there...

on March 29, 2004 3:08 AM
AyahByahCyah said

Salaams ppl,

Sarah's right, everyone and their moms is on naseeb... its not so bad if u can dodge all the shady ppl on it.

anyways, i was wondering if its okay if i post this article in my profile, cuz it is just too hilarious. and yes i would include the link and give credit to the author.

-Ayah

on March 31, 2004 5:09 PM
Talal said

Alhamdulillah... my ummi's as far away from Naseeb as possible.

and yes, includeth the credit and a link, and ye be free to use.

and yeah, naseeb doesn't look good on ya. Keep away from that nonsense.


on March 31, 2004 5:24 PM
Abdullah Somebody said

Yeah I agree, the article was hilarious but it did address a key issue, the amount of divorces that are among our youth have increased tremendously, I mean back home, who marries for love anyone, its all arranged as mine will be also. But I really dont give a damn because as long as my mom is happy, I am happy for to make ummi and abati happy. You just cant be selfish and in America, muslim youth have been brought up to be so self-centered. Its hard for folks to sacrfice and compromise for their family's sake whereas back home alot of people maybe not everyone really foregoes what they want and just focus on other folks rights. I mean people should also know about the saying or hadith that you should marry a pious person so that even if he does not like your daughter he will treat her right. I think if you just remember that, even if your spouse is not perfect and you dont like them but both of you fear Allaah and are very mature it might work out and you dont have to end in divorce or anything and piousness and taqwa is not something superficial like a beard or jilbaab. A lot of older women say that American Muslim girls really dont know how to be Muslim, they think wearing hijaab and jilbaab is everything and they are the greatest Muslims ever; its everything if your parents hook you up with someone overseas and he doesnt speak English and you marry him only because your parents want you to, then that is everything.
Well anyways, I dont mean to point fingers or anything.
Just pray for me brothers and sisters.
That my parents are always happy with me.
Wasalaamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullaah.

on March 31, 2004 8:17 PM
Justoju said

I have enjoyed two arranged marriages in my life, both to men that my parents picked out for me from a small village off the GT road in Pakistan. I was very happy with them alhamdulillah. I always had fresh firewood. And they always wore their finest satin dhotis for me. American men dont know how to treat a woman right.

on April 1, 2004 12:49 AM
Wajahat Gilani said

Abdullah Somebody,

It is encouraging to see someone honoring their parents, but its is also important to remember that when it comes to marriage, parents must also give their daughters just rights as ordained by Allah through his Messenger (S).

walaikumsalaam
Wajahat Gilani

on April 1, 2004 11:15 AM
Abdullah Somebody said

Aaah, Bint Abbas,
typical American Behavior, you fell out of love with your first husband and got divorced and married another guy from the village, tsk, tsk.
Just kidding.
Seriously, though I would like to contribute articles to this newsletter, who do I have to email to and stuff.
Let me,

Abdullah Somebody

on April 2, 2004 3:06 PM
Justoju said

My husbands and life are not a joke. The first mixed too much of his saliva with the paan he was chewing and choked. The second met his Lord after a freak bhangra accident. I miss them both very much.

on April 2, 2004 3:41 PM
Saima said

bint...

was he doing disco bhangra ? (C:

on April 2, 2004 6:06 PM
ibn Muzaffar said

salam alaikum everyone,

very nice article talal, as usual...ure amusement is well received, by eveyone i'm sure...bintAbbas enough joking around :)...and any suggestion for my next article...insha'allah i'm thinking of something to write about...
keep up the good work t

wasalaam
'work in this life as if you'll live forever, prepare for the Hereafter as if you'll die tomorrow'

on April 2, 2004 10:52 PM
Justoju said

disco bhangra? No, he wasnt gay.

on April 3, 2004 1:53 AM
Talal said

kho khay...

Let's either curtail this talk of poor ol' past spouses and loved ones, or at least take it away from Hidaya, inshaAllah.

This topic spells t-r-o-u-b-l-e. Now onto the Washing Machine...

on April 3, 2004 12:57 PM
Abdullah Somebody said

Assalaamu Alaikum
As I was asking, I wanted to write an article also for this newsletter, who do I have to send it to and stuff. Also, for the next article, I guess you can do something on "standing up for the truth" and not being afraid. I see many Muslims in USA afraid to say that injustices are being committed and afraid if topics like these are discussed. Another article suggestion could be the rights of parents on children and the rights of children on parents( I dont know if you guys have already done this). Also, how about sabr and shukr.
okay
wasalaamu Alaikum

on April 3, 2004 2:04 PM
Faisal Akhtar said

Assalam-o-alaikom.
Anyone looking to post for this newsletter, send your:

"Name
Column title
Column sample
Some idea of what you want to write about.
If you want to write weekly or bi-weekly
Email address
Whether or not you're an RU student/alumni
to info@hidayaonline.com"

or contact Tala@eden.rutgers.edu

I think the announcement for new writers sought had been up for months but it has been taken down. I think that because most of the writing spots have been taken. Anyway contact Talal.

Wasalam

Faisal Akhtar

on April 3, 2004 2:22 PM
fatima said

good article, now i'd like to hear one about intercultural marriages.. that's a toughie

on April 30, 2004 9:17 PM
Han of Harlem said

got connections with peeps workin' at Sears, can getcha DISCOUNTS (halla!) on washing machines insha'Allah, more than happy to help ma bruvaz out. bukhari bruva hadith in full effect! fi emanillah. 1. :)

-Han, NYC

on May 1, 2004 2:36 AM
Justoju said

Whaaaa? I dont even 'understand' what that last sentence meant...

Could this mean I am not ghetto? That would be terrible.

on May 1, 2004 3:10 PM
Ranya said

Justaju, just quit actin jewish,
Leave Han alone he can't help it if he is ghetto fabulous :P
Its just like having a london accent or a slurr, one can't help it, cause its part of one's background
Doesn't mean he is any less of a person/muslim
So don't HATE appreciate!

on May 4, 2004 7:52 PM
Justoju said

"Its just like having a london accent or a slurr, one can't help it, cause its part of one's background. Doesn't mean he is any less of a person/muslim"

WHOA where did all THAT come from? Shoot, I was just makin fun of myself for my lack of updated slang comprehension!

on May 4, 2004 9:22 PM
Han of Harlem said

lol! Calm down fellow Muslims, be eeezzz!! hehe itz all good in da hooood. 50% off washing machines just for you two. hmm! :P

on May 5, 2004 5:35 PM
M.Sazad said

alaam

This was truly a great read :) A topic which needs to be stressed more amongst our fellow Muslim youth. Oh, bro lay off on the jokes hahah I can't seem to keep a straight face while reading hahaha (just pulling your leg bro) , keep up the great work. You held my attention all throughout the read (whereby I mostly despise reading, this was pretty good)

Ma salaama for now


on May 7, 2004 11:20 AM
Jim Tayler said

Good Read

on November 3, 2004 6:39 PM
RayHaab said

Assalam o Aliqum,
A beautifully written article. The argument was very convincing and unorthodox, i would definitly like to read such piece of writings in future as well InshahAllah.So Mr. Talal Sarwani you have my vote as well.

on November 6, 2004 12:49 AM
Nina said

Assalam a laikum,

A definite vote for Talal to write every week. Is there any chance of getting a message mailed to us telling us a new article is online?

Jazark Allah

on February 11, 2005 6:10 PM
Owais Memon said

As salaamu alekum,

Id love to see more articles by you man. May Allah bless you for your efforts, As salaamu alekum. - Owais

on June 12, 2005 3:19 PM
Asra said

lol ur SO funny ... oh man i fell off my chair while reading this... all of this is soo true.. i always wanted 2 say sumthing like this...

good job

*Asra*

on June 12, 2005 4:20 PM
Mahwish said

This is a really good article. Exactly what some people need to hear. I went to six shaadis this summer, and all I kept hearing was single girls complain about how they NEED someone.

So many of my friends spend hours on websites (and MSA events) trying to find a good companion. Meanwhile, our non-Muslim counterparts worry about school, careers, politics, the environment, current events, etc. (ok, well some Muslim students do too)

I'm sick and tired of college students say things such as: "I want to get married so we can tour the world together" or "I want a beautiful house." And once that's not provided to them, they ask for divorce.

Please keep writing these articles and cure (as you put it) "The Fever." It's hard enough having aunties tell you that you need to get married. Don't need your peers doing it.

on August 30, 2005 9:09 AM
asef said

Salaam:


""I'm sick and tired of college students say things such as: "I want to get married so we can tour the world together" or "I want a beautiful house." And once that's not provided to them, they ask for divorce.""

Hahahaha...this is hilarious!

I think the above summarizes our situation well; this is limited not just to creature comforts but also to varying expectations between the newly married...we are eager to jump into a marriage blindly, but then start criticizing bit by bit without understanding and without patience.

Getting married is the easier part-its fast and quick. Maintaining a "healthy" marriage, however, takes all your wits and care for the rest of your life!

Ma'Assalaama

on August 30, 2005 3:52 PM
saira said


I think Deen is distinct from the 'worldly' rights of bonding with a companion who shares the same concerns and worries. Our bodies have rights over us. And a good balance between the normative and the personal ought to be created and sustained - regarding something as pure and delicate as a marital bond. It is just like a binding loan contract, with legal implications and the un dismiss able state of minds and hearts which may be induced due to properly fulfilling our responsibilities in the roles of husbands and wives or in case of not fulfilling them.

Taqwah is piety and Ian is faith. Please read Ayat 35 in Surah 33 (Al-Hazb).

Choices are ultimately ours so purity of conscience, I think is more important to develop love out of love's sake, then due to pressures around us as young Muslims and culture driven or harassed machines.

on February 20, 2006 8:21 AM
Muslimah said

jazakAllah brother for writing this

id just like to say in regards to sister mahwish's comment abt how girls are always talking about all the things they want from marriage

"I want to get married so we can tour the world together" or "I want a beautiful house." And once that's not provided to them, they ask for divorce.

having desires is fine, its part of being human, but striving for jannah (iA) which ultimately should be all of our goals requires a lot more sacrifice, and better yet in terms of finding "the one" should be someone who strives to be closer to Allah and marries with the understanding that the two ppl should be helping and sacrificing to strengthen each other's imaans and that marriage isnt necessarily all about recieving worldly rewards.

may Allah guide us All on the right path. Ameen

on March 2, 2006 6:44 PM
"The most hated of what is halal..." said

There are two chains for this hadith in the Sunan of Abi Dawud. Shaykh Al-Albani has declared them both to be weak (#2177 and 2178 in Sunan Abi Dawud).

However, instead of deleting the phrase from this article in its entirety, I edited it to say, "That trouble has manifested itself into one of the hated of what is Halaal: Talaq (Divorce)."

I left this in because divorce, as initiated by either the man or the woman, is makrooh:

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

The basic principle concerning divorce is that it is makrooh, and the evidence for that is the verse in which Allaah says concerning those who swore not to have intercourse with their wives for four months (interpretation of the meaning):

“Those who take an oath not to have sexual relation with their wives must wait for four months, then if they return (change their idea in this period), verily, Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

227. And if they decide upon divorce, then Allaah is All-Hearer, All-Knower”

[al-Baqarah 2:226-227]

This (the phrase “then Allaah is All-Hearer, All-Knower”) is a kind of warning, whereas in the case of taking back the wife, Allaah says, “verily, Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful”. This indicates that divorce is not liked by Allaah, and that the basic principle is that divorce is makrooh. End quote.

Al-Sharh al-Mumti’, 10/428

In short, the fact that divorce is makrooh means that it's permissible, but hated. But the fact that it's the "most hated" can't be proven by the popular [weak] hadiths.

On another note, in case this hadith is widespread:

This is what has been narrated from ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib (may Allaah be pleased with him), that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“Do not issue divorce, for the Throne shakes because of divorce.”

Narrated by Ibn ‘Adiyy in al-Kaamil (5/112) and by al-Khateeb in Tareekh Baghdaad (12/191), and via Ibn al-Jawzi in al-Mawdoo’aat (2/277), via ‘Amr ibn Jumay’ from Juwaybir from al-Dahhaak from al-Nazzaal ibn Sabrah from ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib (may Allaah be pleased with him).

Ibn al-Jawzi said:

It is a mawdoo’ (fabricated) hadeeth… ‘Amr ibn Jumay’ used to narrate munkar ahaadeeth from prominent people, and mawdoo’ ahaadeeth from sound narrators. End quote.

He was [classified] as da’eef (weak) and a fabricator by many scholars, including the following:

Al-Khateeb al-Baghdaadi in Tareekh Baghdaad (12/187), Ibn al-Qaysaraani in Dhakheerat al-Huffaaz (2/1147), al-Sakhaawi in al-Maqaasid al-Hasanah (p. 31), al-Shawkaani in al-Fawaa’id al-Majmoo’ah (p. 139), al-San’aani and al-‘Ajlooni in Kashf al-Khafa’ (1/361), and al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Da’eefah (1/278, hadeeth no. 147).

Allah 'Alam.

gillette

on August 11, 2006 10:44 AM
Sumaiya said

assalam alaykum,

br. talal, I know you answered this earlier to another newsletter organization but just checking in case you changed your mind in the last 2 years: is it okay to publish this in a university MSA newspaper? this piece is just that timeless. I'll make sure proper credit + a link to hidayaonline is included.

thanks.

on February 5, 2007 9:57 PM
gillette said

Assalamu 'Alaikum,

Bro. Talal is currently out of the country and, from what I know, it might be difficult for him to respond to your request. You can republish this as long as the author and the website are properly credited. Also, this can't be republished commercially.

Refer to:

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/

To clarify, you don't need written permission to republish any work from HidayaOnline.com as long as the conditions are fulfilled.

on February 5, 2007 11:23 PM
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