The discussions on hidaya about pseudonyms have been lengthy, but, after reading "Where's the Washing Machine?" (http://www.hidayaonline.com/archives/000033.html), I couldn't blame you.
I agree with you on adopting a light mood once in a while, but I could never imagine doing that myself in an article.on April 10, 2004 2:59 PM
Aslaam Aleikum Warahmatullah Wabarakatu,
Alhamdulillah...and I want to congratulate you(give you positive reinforcment) on your article.
Interestingly enough your comment(the first one) in "The Just Ruler, Part1" was the only comment that was actually about the article...so thanks. I wondered if anyone actually got what it was about --- There is a hadith that says (once again I cannot find it) that the best of men is the one who stands up to an unjust ruler and tells him he is unjust. So in reality all these rulers today...if they wanted to become the best of men would just simply have to say it to themselves...but what's the likelihood of that happening?
Aaah...the ideas you get sitting in an overcrowded microbus...and help from Rabbina.
So I hope this comment was of benefit. i belived I included everything (longevity, off-topicness, positive reinforcemnt, a reason for people to read my article, and I believe that last one would count as humor...but really, everybody should read it).
Please let me know where to mail the Niqab and beard trimmer.
Salaam Warahmatullah Wabarakatuon April 10, 2004 2:59 PM
Let me be the first to say welcome to Hidaya BintAbbas. May your stay be long and may it be beneficial for all of us. Ameen
Walaikomassalamon April 10, 2004 3:08 PM
Sorry 'bout the technical difficultes earlier... the column now appears as the writer originally intended it to.
on April 10, 2004 4:23 PM
Its an honor to write for Hidaya and I would like to thank all of you for your support(I feel like I am giving an academy awards speech).
And yes, bro. Talal is correct. All that is good and beneficial in my article is from Allah (SWT), and all that is bad and harmful is due to technical difficulties.on April 10, 2004 5:06 PM
Oh and regarding the beard trimmer-- no way, the hair only grows back thicker and more luxuriant.
Niqabs are cool. They are even more fun when you wear them and then you tell people in a really deep voice that you are a man.on April 10, 2004 5:06 PM
Why do you have to get "horrified" if brothers email you. Just tell them you have to take care of Abu Khudanawanakhasta bin Babaghanoush. They'll understand. Their "fever" will be cured.
Infact i think the bros did the right thing. If the fever doesn't get cured by centrum or other vitamins (fasting and tahajjud), then you have to have someone contact the doctor either through a referral or by e-mail. The doctor's answer shall be the final answer and a cure to the fever. Otherwise you have to have a real good immune system to fight of the fever yourself - which we should all try to develop.
Allahu 'Alam. May Allah(swt) grant us all hidaya.
PS: I havn't seen any "flirting" going on at hidaya, alhamdulillah. Yes Bros and sis have complemented each other, but for the most part it has been a learning experience. Therefore there is no reason to hide your personality and behave like a lunatic. Just keep your intentions sincere inshallah.
"I havn't seen any 'flirting' going on at hidaya, alhamdulillah. Yes Bros and sis have complemented each other, but for the most part it has been a learning experience."
mashallah, i'm glad you think so highly of your brothers.on April 10, 2004 9:58 PM
nice article but I think i'm the only one that said the posts should be "positive reinforcement" but i was talking in regard to the posts that really don't add anything to the article, like general ramblings in fob accents. but i also did state that constructive discussion should take place, because like you said it makes the site more interesting.
second, about psuedonames in the past the brothers never used them and i don't think the younger brothers should use them, i'd prefer the brothers stand by their article be they comedy or "fire". of course i do understand talal's reasoning for wanting it so i stay at bay. but neverthless its to me as "amin trips discussing cell phone plans" are to tanweer. :)
Well I wasnt accusing anyone of flirting. I was simply putting out a disclaimer regarding my beliefs. In fact, I didnt mean to be accusing anyone of anything. As my first article I wanted to plug in certain disclaimers that I felt were important to give right in the beginning. And again, if I gave my identity I would be forced to bore you all with very bland uninteresting writing. Let me give you an analogy: If you met a sister in real life and she spoke to you the way I speak online to everyone there is no doubt that it would be highly deeply inappropriate. It seems the only way for me to write truly as myself is for me to cease to be a 'person'. Think about it, I might not even be a girl. I might even be a brother who you see every day...this actually inspires me to ask a question: What do you all think about this? Is it OK for a female, or ANYONE for that matter, to speak in a casual and humorous tone if they post under pseudonym and complete anonymity? Come on Hidaya, lets hear what you think...lets see some Qalam's cross:)
WasalaamuAlaikumon April 11, 2004 1:46 AM
There's no real fitnah per se in posting stuff online, with identities, considering we can neither hear nor see each other. So, whatever mood a sister adopts online is like adopting an equivalent mood in an article, and I know of nothing wrong with that (correct me if I'm wrong, with references/sources/adillat).
In spite of the potential harm that can come out of revealing your identity, there have been discussions on Hidaya about anonymity, and they convinced me into revealing my identity (if my writing didn't give it away already).on April 11, 2004 9:47 AM
Allah(swt) says in Quran:
"O ye who believe! Let not some men among you laugh at others: it may be that the (latter) are better than the (former)...nor defame nor be sarcastic to each other, nor call each others by "offensive nicknames..." (Quran 49:11)
Let us all try our best to act upon this Hidaya because Allah(swt) is Gentle and He loveth Gentleness.
nice article bintabbas...i think ure right about pseudonyms...especially for sisters, they should keep their identity a little hidden...no need to be flashy or so outright about everything...the brothers, i don't know...cuz i don't think this goes both ways...as for all the other stuff you said, yes some levity should be there but only under the guidelines of our Shari'ah...
take care insha'allah and any suggestions for my next article?
'work in this life as if you'll live forever, prepare for the Hereafter as if you'll die tomorrow'on April 11, 2004 3:31 PM
bintabbas.. welcome :)on April 11, 2004 7:57 PM
"cuz i don't think this goes both ways"
brother I.M.S.H., why do you think that?
(and thank you Saima:) )on April 12, 2004 2:19 AM
Sr. BA or UBB whatever you prefer,
What part are you referring to..that brothers shouldn't use pseudonyms? i think it just has to do w/modesty issues...sisters should keep a sense of aloofness so that they don't appear too friendly...
i hope u guys get my point...just so that there remains a distance...
'work in this life as if you'll live forever, prepare for the Hereafter as if you'll die tomorrow'on April 12, 2004 10:46 AM
" i think it just has to do w/modesty issues...sisters should keep a sense of aloofness so that they don't appear too friendly..."
It seems as if you are saying only sisters should keep a sense of aloofness- since earlier you stated it 'doesn't goes both ways.'
why shouldn't brothers also keep that same sense of aloofness?on April 12, 2004 11:28 PM
Gotta agree with the akh here...
There's a much much much much bigger danger in a brother's interaction with a sister, than the vice-versa of the situation.
It's sort of an embedded evil that every guy has to do his utmost to fight...
Not to say that sisters are completely free of this particular waswasa, but it's much more active among the men of the world.on April 12, 2004 11:36 PM
I don't agree with sisters being required to be aloof, but the rules of modesty are different between brothers and sisters. if bintabbas feels that aloofness is a part of that modesty, then my reasoning might explain it.on April 12, 2004 11:37 PM
Bro. Talal is def. right about there being greater danger on the sister's side. It seems that brother's can become much more easily entranced by a sister's beauty (which is why the ladies have to cover up a bit more), and sisters can become much more easily entranced by a brother's personality and 'image' (which is why the brothers need to undergo the struggle of keeping their personalities in check in front of the ladies)...
You know, all this makes you see the total wisdom behind the Prophet (SAW)'s emphasis on the home and his discouraging loitering, without business, outside of it.on April 13, 2004 4:42 PM
i think you should relax and take it easy, for some reason you are under the impression that every muslim male will be uncontrollably attracted to your out of this world personality....on April 16, 2004 12:47 AM
PHEW! Thats a relief! Thanks Bro. Faqir...on April 16, 2004 1:01 AM
2:225 Allah will not call you to account for thoughtlessness in your oaths, but for the INTENTION in your hearts; and He is Oft-forgiving, Most Forbearing.
I don't know anyone’s intentions; therefore I cannot judge anyone. Out of modesty brothers and sisters should conceal their identity, otherwise this is no different then sitting on aol messenger committing zina of hand and the brain. It's sad to see such pointless arguments being made so late at night. Spend your free time doing ziker of Allah so you can feel his presence. Please don't take this offensively my intension was guidance insahallah.on April 16, 2004 9:20 AM
jazakallahu khair z...you're right we must spend more time in zhikr of Allah so that we can become closer to Him and then we won't have 'time' for these worldly things...but you can't teach modesty - haya - you have to develop it yourselfon April 16, 2004 9:56 AM
JazakAllahu khair brother z for your wisdom...on April 16, 2004 3:10 PM
I am almost getting the feeling that Bint Abbas aka justoju aka umm abu khudanakhasta
was highly dissappointed in finding out that I was a sister( I think that was it! just kidding, totally joking). Sorry but life is one of dissappointments and girl sorry to say this but in a way you are attracting more attention to yourself by writting funny remarks on how obese or ugly you are( no one is gonna buy that) because Allaah has created all women beautiful
Guys are attracted to shy quite and submissive girls. If you want a love marriage, change your personality and become a shy quite, submissive girl who says, yes brother, no brother,
brother you are right, brother I am wrong, I am sorry. I can bet( I know betting is haraam) you will have an arranged marriage otherwise. In real world personalitites like yours will not live up to the grandour because people will soon stop appreciating unless you are drop dead gorgeous which will get you anywhere from an old man rishta to a young man financially rich rishta. but this is my rambling, i only read a couple of your sentences and I guess I dont really share the humor with you that much. I dunno. No offense though.
For me, one way I thought was to use male pseudonym, in this way, what you say is taken more seriously and with much importance on both sides, by sisters and brothers.
But even if I had not adopted Abdullaah Somebdoy ,
I can tell you; people would have still thought I was a guy.
(I guess that is why I sound like a guy)on May 15, 2004 8:08 PM
"For me, one way I thought was to use male pseudonym, in this way, what you say is taken more seriously and with much importance on both sides, by sisters and brothers."
1) i doubt that.
2) that's no excuse for misleading people. concealing your identity is OK, and if a sister feels shy, is preferable. but don't lie.on May 15, 2004 11:57 PM