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July 11, 2004
My soul cries out…

by Bint Abdul Khaliq

Sometimes in life - I feel so overwhelmed. So much to do - so little time. So many expectations - so little resources. So many people to please. At every turn there seems to be someone waiting for me to behave in a certain way, think in a certain way, to be the person THEY want me to be. Sometimes I feel like I’m running a race, and the harder I run, the further the finishing line seems to be moving away…

And then I stop. I can’t carry on like this. Who am I? I don’t even know. I seem to be just playing different roles. Hypocritical…deceiving. This is not who I am!! What am I striving for? When I look deep into it - it is really worth it? If it is - why am I not giving it the attention it needs? If it is not - why am I wasting my valuable time with it? With every breath, my end draws nearer…what am I doing and why am I doing it???? I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!

And then…I turn to the only ONE who can help me. The only ONE who can guide me. The only one who truly knows what I am going through and understands. The ONLY ONE who really cares. And with tears in my eyes, my head pressed to the ground, I pour out my heart to HIM.

“OH ALLAH! You are closer to me than my jugular vein. You know my darkest secrets and my innermost desires. I can hide nothing from YOU. ONLY YOU know about the struggle going on within me, and ONLY YOU can guide me through it.”

And a torrent seems to pour out of me, as I admit my mistakes…the sins I have so shamefully committed, without any concern for the displeasure of My RABB. Now when I reflect on the situation that I am in, I realize that if I had obeyed my LORD, as I should have, I wouldn’t have been this mess today. When times are good how quick I am to forget my RABB!

Astaghfirullah! Forgive me YA ALLAH! OH MOST MERCIFUL! Who else can I turn to? There is no one else YA ALLAH. I turn to YOU with hope OH MY CREATOR. YA ALLAH please help me - remove me from my confusion. Make me live my life as your Beloved Rasool (SAWS) lived it. Make me live a happy life…a contented life. Take away the love of this Dunya from me and endow me with the Love of Aakhirah. Grant me the courage to do what is right and stay away from what is wrong. Guide me unto the path that leads to Jannatul Firdous. ”

YA ALLAH, every big or small problem I am facing - I beg you to help me find the solution. Every decision I have to make - YA ALLAH please guide me to make the right decision. YA ALLAH, certainly YOU are aware of everything and no doubt you have heard me today. OH ALLAH accept!”

And I lift my head off the ground and a feeling of peace engulfs me. And life doesn’t seem so tough anymore. I have the strength and courage to carry on. I have spoken to my CREATOR, the one who created me from a cloth of blood and the One in whose hands this Life of mine lies. I realize that Life makes sense when I turn to ALLAH. And I know that Life has a truly wonderful meaning when I know that ALLAH is there to listen to me, to help me and to guide me through it. Subhanallah!


of and relating to...
Nadia said

Subhanallah. Such a moving dua. May Allah(swt) enable all of us to put our trust in Him. Ameen

on July 11, 2004 6:55 AM
Faisal Akhtar said

"Sometimes in life-I feel so overwhelmed.So much to do-so little time.So many expectations-so little resources."

"Blaise Pascal (1623-1662), a French philosopher and scientist once said: By space the universe encompasses and swallows me as an atom; by thought I encompass it."

I read this quote in an article on Islamicfinder and it really made me think. The basic theme of that article was "Man and His mind" and how our minds are limitless and our imaginations are vast while we are very limited being. The ultimate limitation to our existence is our death. We must acknowledge how small and limited we really are and that is what I think you are saying in that first paragraph. Allah SWT has created us with this duality. A boundless imagination that we have and the bounded reality we must exist in.

This has caused much distress for philosophers when they have contemplated the meaning of our lives and many came to the conclusion that our lives are pointless. That to have such a vast imagination but so many limitations ultimately makes our lives absurd and insignificant. An animal can neither imagine an alternate reality nor can it create one but we can imagine but not create. What these philosophers do not realize that this is exactly what Islam has been saying all along. This world is mere chattels of deception. This world is not even worth the wing of a fly.

The disparity between our imagination and our reality exists in this world only but in the hereafter it will be removed. If you can imagine something, Allah SWT can give it to you and more. Jannah is where the true potential of human beings will be realized. There will be infinite time and infinite resources just like our imagination is infinite. Anything we can wish for, will be given to us. Sister, the next time you have thoughts of smallness, think about the endless possibilities of Jannah. In this world, our wills must bend to fit reality. In Jannah, Allah SWT will bend reality to fit our wills. Think about what we will be able to accmplish in then. That will keep you going and striving for that ultimate abode. May Allah grant it to all of us. Ameen

on July 11, 2004 12:03 PM
Justoju said

"In my body I am dust. In my spirit I am the sky"

--Sheikh Abdur Rahman Shaghouri (may Allah's mercy be upon him)

on July 11, 2004 2:19 PM
Bint Abdul Khaliq said

As Salaamu Alaikum

Ameen to your dua sister Nadia.Bro Faisal and sister Justoju,May ALLAH reward you abundantly for your excellent advice.Truly inspiring Mashallah.May ALLAH give us the ability to realise our potential and become true and dynamic leaders of our Ummah.Ameen.

on July 16, 2004 8:29 AM
Sh Faisal said

O my LORD, MY ALLAH I am so happy to see my brothers & sisters asking YOU for help. This is a really great attempt.. I appreciate it..

on August 13, 2005 11:38 AM
Faisal Akhtar said

Yaaay

Another Faisal !

Woohoo

on August 13, 2005 12:38 PM
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