...never again write an article on Marriage, Love, or Women."
Hahaha Lol. That is the joke of the centurey.
PS-who is the author?on September 15, 2004 3:13 PM
As Salaamu Alaikum
Mashallah excellent article.It might be funny but the sad truth is that it is so true.May ALLAH guide us all.Ameen.
Was Salaamon September 15, 2004 5:07 PM
(Requisite part of praise for article) Mashallah, great article.
(filler to make it look like i really did like the article)
word to the "never again write an article on Marriage, Love, or Women."
(sorry, not much filler, but i liked the article, although i read a draft before it was sent to the MSA Link people)on September 15, 2004 5:27 PM
Fo sheezy about the jilbabs. It is becoming harder and harder to find unfitted unshaped jilbabs in the market. I was speaking with a friend of mine about this a year ago and we concocted quite a few conspiracy theories.
And I never knew men found embroidery to be tantalizing. Its just thread brothers. SubhanAllah, the male nafs never fails to surprise me.
"never again write an article on Marriage, Love, or Women. "
Why not? The average female who is conscious of it finds the male predicament quite amusing actually (not to mention flattering in a twisted insecure kind of way)...Very sad...very true...yet very very amusing to many women.
Amazing the amount of fitna that can be found in a single beautiful woman. I think the root cause is that we live in a society that puts an immense emphasis on the empowerment of women...which often results in most women's almost insecure obsession with 'feeling' empowered. Because muslim women might not always feel like they are being given as much power as they 'believe' their western counterparts have within their family's and social circles, they might feel that the best way to feel 'in control' is through a man's libido. A woman's control of a man's gaze equals power to many females. I remember taking a feminist class a while ago in which we discussed this.
I think a real turning point for a Muslim woman is when she realizes that it is plain out mean and cruel to even unintentionally be the cause of the ruin of a poor bother's progress and deen. I mean, I would be ticked off if some guy came and screwed up what little islam and ikhlas I got going on in my life. There must be rahmah. When practicing women start to identify the male struggles in the deen with their own struggles to please Allah, AND understand that they too will be rewarded for every brother whose gaze they could have tainted but didnt...THEN there will be great progress.
But shoot, I dont know what can be done about phase 1 sisters...They would either need to come to some philosophical conclusions that one's body and beauty are not for looksies (which can be concluded without religion...a whole wing of feminists have come to this conclusion), or become really religious, or just get really ugly.
on September 15, 2004 8:23 PM
OR guys could work a tad bit harder on avoiding beautiful women watering holes, and work on the whole lowering of the gaze issue. Women can only do so much to help you out fellas. If she's got everything covered except her face and hands, is wearing somber colors, and is not trying to call attention to herself, and you STILL cant keep yourself from staring maybe you need to stop blaming her and start working on your own selves. No one is going to pick you up and carry you into Jannah, you have to do at least 'some' of the work yourself.on September 15, 2004 8:28 PM
oh and great article.on September 15, 2004 9:13 PM
AS Salaamu Alaikum
"I think a real turning point for a Muslim woman is when she realizes that it is plain out mean and cruel to even unintentionally be the cause of the ruin of a poor bother's progress and deen. I mean, I would be ticked off if some guy came and screwed up what little islam and ikhlas I got going on in my life. There must be rahmah. When practicing women start to identify the male struggles in the deen with their own struggles to please Allah, AND understand that they too will be rewarded for every brother whose gaze they could have tainted but didnt...THEN there will be great progress."
May ALLAH garnt us all purity of heart
Ameen.on September 17, 2004 1:32 PM
Very true and inspiring article. THe problem today is people get influenced too much. I got influenced by a lot of my muslim friends, alot of the muslim girls made things "cool" versus others. That is why I had a hard time accepting a proposal of someone I did not know and never spoke to in my life. Not like I spoke to men anyway but I was caught up in the notion that someone will like me when they see me at the MSA or in a Muslim conference etc and then propose and I will get married and live happily ever after. And this notion came inside of me after oh about 7 or 8 years after I turned a teenager. when I was younger, I felt I was more religious and more closer to pleasing Allaah SWT. I rememeber as a 13 yr old, Muslim girls use to make fun of my hijaab becaus it was long and unfashinable. They would say dont wear your hijaab like that and also about my jilbaab. Your jilbaab is too big and loose on you etc. My role models were the immigrant Aunties that came with their husbands from Muslim countries who were studying here, they would be wearing HUGE abayahs and khimaars and I was always trying to outdo in that category. Trying to wear niqaab. But when I got to college and more and more sisters were seen that were fashionable, trendy, beautiful in hijaab. Slowly, shaitan bothered me," you know you wont get married this way. You think someone is going to get impressed by your religious committment and your desire to wear long 30 to 60 inch scarves, WRONG! you better just relax and go into the fashion just so someone will like you, you know wear a better scarf, shorter, more color coordinated, etc"
this was shaitan's whisper. Fortunately for me, I did change slightly one or two days on campus I would be dressed "in fashion" but not the other days and I just never had great ikhlaaq to begin with the brothers and would drive anyone who was interested in me away with my stern attitude and stuff. So alhamdulillaah, it worked out. Your article reminded me how I use to be a good ol person and then thanks to sisters and then also the brothers I got caught up in pleasing other people. Now that I am married alhamdulillaah, none of that fashion following frenzy mattered and I am back to my old unfashionable self.
The divorce rate has to do with little patience in people. Yes marrying early some people might regret it alot but if you do get married early then you should compromise and be patient. Amercian boys and girls(especially) dont know how to do that. I am learning from my husband ma shaa Allaah what patience and compromise is( he does most of that lol!).
as salaamu alaikum
hmmm masha Allah insightful article.I have a question though,i thought I'd ask it here since this site seems 2 be more 'open'( in a good way) about the harsh realities Muslim youth face.No use hiding issues under the carpet really:
I wear Niqab and I always wonder - wot goes through the mind of an average muslim male when he sees a Muslim female in Niqaab?Is Niqaab enough to protect a women from attracting men?After all what is there 2 look at if everything except the eyes and hands are covered and the clothes are loose? that is , except embroidery ( i had no idea guys paid attention to that 2!).
Of course if the Niqabi doesn't lower HER OWN gaze he might think she's interested in him and his imagination might fly.But what's he doin looking at her anyway!
Would appreciate feedback on this
"and never again write an article on Marriage, Love, or Women."
I think you should include that we shouldnt talk too much bout it either. ;)
Just a bit of insight...
Not EVERY person fits into the categories above...
There is the Phase III MAN. We're few and far between, but we're around :Don September 21, 2004 4:53 PM
I think there needs to be an article on the phase III man. And since Br. Talal (#452) is self-admittedly one of the few living specimens of this nearly extinct breed, perhaps he should write it. And soon, before (Allah forbid) something happens to him and we lose another one.on September 22, 2004 2:52 AM
Oops.. that 'we' was a Freudian slip methinks.
How sad it shall be to end the Washing Machine Trilogy. But it has to be done... inshaAllah before 'something' happens to me.
It's coming folks, so hold on to your Imaan.on September 22, 2004 4:27 PM
its very sad, and makes me boil that some ppl quote only the first part:
"A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion.", and they make up their own second part:
"So go ahead, marry her for her beauty"
this can apply to both phase I and phase II menon October 2, 2004 7:04 AM