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October 20, 2004

by Muhammad Irfan Shariff

I remember last year about this time I was planning the next foam party in some hot sleazy filled club in the city or jersey. I remember quite a bit from when I was sleeping, the money I earned, the amount of women I took advantage of…so on and so forth. When I was sleeping. When I was sleeping…dirty money, and a dirt filled heart entrenched me. When I was sleeping living in world that I allowed to suck me in. Thank God, now I actually woke up. I feel deep down inside that even though I am of so-called “adult” age, the year of 2004 has brought out my first Ramadan. Indeed, shame and guilt drenches the my heart and soul, yet, somehow, only Allah knows, I feel I have the strength to move on. And now…. The pressure and taunting of reverting back, at times is stronger than ever, to smoke that weed, spend time with people who I should not and most of all DJ, Rap, and do shows all over the metropolitan area.

I think to myself, and see the little disputes around me, the tired discussions of the honorable divider at ISRU, what people say about me or others behind their back, the addiction to materialism and most of all just how people have been sucked into this doonya. And then me, me, me, to think that after all that I have been through and done, there can be another chance. And therefore to think that after death there is more to come. I smile. To know what more is there in the heavens. I smile, to see a true servant of Allah in the mirror, to see that no disease or changing of my personality tides could take me away from holding tight to the rope of Allah. And as I walk I look down, not because I am sad or depressed, because I cant stop smiling, cause I know Allah loves me, and when it comes down to it…………He is always there for me.

As I revert back to the topic of this article, I just wanted to say that this Ramadan is special to me. Because I finally realized that this world is not going to be here forever. But my Soul will forever exist. And in no way will this world be completely fair, just or even nice to me, for it is all a test, a test which I wont cram for, but study everyday for and Ramadan is my annual tutor.

of and relating to...
Humayun said


Alhamdulilah, this was a truly touching article. I think many of us had 'ignorant' pasts that we would like to forget. The most important thing is to be sincere to Allah, repent, and have the firm intention of being steadfast. Sometimes it's hard thinking about the past temptations but that's where as brothers in Islaam we have to work as anti-Shaitans for each other, we must whisper each other to do good and strive for the truth.

1.) By (the Token of) Time (through the ages),
2.)Verily Man is in loss,
3.) Except such as have Faith, and do righteous deeds, and (join together) in the mutual teaching of Truth, and of Patience and Constancy. (Al-Asr 1:3)


on October 20, 2004 7:57 AM
anonymousbrother said

Brother, this was an excellent article, but my only reservation is the fact that you mocked those who favor "the honorable divider at ISRU." Clearly we may beg to differ on this issue in a civil manner, can we not? I for one oppose the divider (note: I do NOT wish to open a debate on the divider on this forum), but am willing to entertain arguments by its supporters. If we are unable or unwilling to engage in casual and civil debate without resorting to mocking one another, then the state of the ummah is very weak indeed.

on October 20, 2004 8:23 AM
passerby said

Asalaam alaikum Anyonymous brother,

In my humble opinion, I don't think Br. Shariff was mocking those who favor the divider, or he wouldn't have used the word 'honorable' to describe the divider. He may have been giving an example of the 'little disputes' around him, the divider being one that came to his mind.

Again, all that is in my humble opinion, and I could be wrong.

Very touching article. I hope, Br. Shariff, that your Eman strengthens with time, and in this Ramadan may you gather all the ammunition and strength you need to battle Shait'an after Ramadan is over. Insha Allah next Ramadan will find you in an even stronger state of Eman that this one did.


on October 20, 2004 11:12 AM
anonymousbrother said

Asalaam alaikum,

My apologies, that was a typo. What I meant was, it seems as if Br. Shariff is mocking those who, like myself, OPPOSE the divider. Perhaps I'm mistaken, but it seems like he's not taking too kindly to those who oppose it.

on October 20, 2004 1:02 PM
Bint Abdul Khaliq said

As Salaamu Alaikum

Subhanallah Touching article.May ALLAH make us value this deen of ours and guide us on the straight path always.Ameen.

Was Salaam

on October 20, 2004 1:19 PM
gillette said

i think he, like others [including myself], can be sick of debating the divider even if it were up.

(quickly changing the topic):

Fasting is one of these special acts just referred to; it is, in fact, one of the five important acts of worship called the pillars of Islam. The other four are the profession of faith - there is no god (worthy of worship) except Allah (the one true God) and Muhammad is His Messenger, - the five daily prayers, the payment of the poor due (zakat) and the pilgrimage (hajj). These different acts of worship are to the soul as food is to the body. All kinds of food, like proteins, fats and carbohydrates, serve to make the body healthy, but each one contributes to one's health in a special way, and plays a role that cannot be fully played by the others in achieving that purpose. Similarly, all the acts of worship help to keep our souls sound and healthy by instilling taqwa [in general, it means 'God consciousness,' 'God awareness,' 'fear of God,' and so on] in them, but each has a special role to play in this process, and people who perform these experience in their hearts the special character of the feelings they engender.

When we fast - the Islamic way - we abstain from food, drink, and sexual intercourse from dawn to sunset. We do this for the sake of God and in obedience to Him. We thus make a clear statement that our real submission is to God and not to the temptations of our bodies however strong they may be. And for this God gives us a special reward. The Prophet (peace be on him) stated, "In paradise there are eight gates among which is a gate called al-Rayyan which only those who fast will enter." (Recorded by al-Bukhari and Muslim). And every good deed will be rewarded ten-fold save for fasting which Allah stated, "Is done only for my sake and I shall reward it." (Recorded by al-Bukhari and Muslim.)

Fasting is good not only for our souls but also for our bodies. It helps to make us healthier. Furthermore, abstention from food and drink for a number of days increases will power and weakens the sexual desire. Therefore, it is especially recommended for young men who are not able to marry.

by Dr. Ja'far Sheikh Idris

on October 20, 2004 3:16 PM
cookcollegemuslim said

MashAllah, a very thought provoking article...i think self reflection is essential in get over one's shortcomings and working to make oneself a better person :) we've all done things we arent proud of...but the greater test is to learn from them and not let ourselves be tempted back to our old way...bro. sharif more power to u, i truely relate to u..May Allah alway keep us on the Seeratul Mustakeem.

on October 22, 2004 7:30 AM
Saima said

Ramadan is my annual tutor too :)

Br Sharif, did you feel that you were picked up from one bad situation and put into a good one ? As if Allah subhanawatalaa "rescued" you from the depths ? Kinda like "shifting the matrix".


He, the Almighty, is my Protector too.

on October 22, 2004 8:37 PM
islam is the good oneee said

This was a dope article, fo shizzo my nizzo.
It makes you so thankful to Allah SWT that he did not take your life while you were in your ignorant phase as many of us, like myself, have experienced. And then when you look back, on the journey you have taken till this point, and what lays ahead of you, a sense of responsibility rests on your shoulders to dig out those brothers and sisters who are engaging in the same useless activities that some of us took part in during our ignorant days.

i hope no on goes out trick or treating this year. if you want candy, jus go buy a stinkin bag of hershey's kisses from shoprite.

on October 24, 2004 2:18 AM
Mohammed Irfan Sharif aka Infamous "S" said

JazakumAllahChar for EVERY1 WHO HAS READ THE ARTICLE AND REPLIED. I never knew so many people would enjoy reading my work, because usually my writing, poetry and performances are always under much controversy.

As for the Saima who asked the following
"did you feel that you were picked up from one bad situation and put into a good one ? "

I feel like the situations that have been in my life were perfect for the time since Allah puts his creations in this doonya to undergo such perfect events and at perfect points of ones life. Since He is the Greatest, Beneficient and Merciful. I just find my life as a journey nothing more and know that Allah's help will save us all from Hell Fire.

As for all the brothers and sisters who show me love in person, or through Hidaya, God bless all of you, and I appreciate it much. Insha-Allah there are more things to come.

Mohammed Irfan Shariff
e-mail irfy4u@email.com

on October 24, 2004 1:00 PM
Muslim said

Asalam A3laykum Wa Rahmatulahi Wa Barakatu
I just wanted to say that Alhumdililah and Thank You ya Allah for changing this brother on the straight path.

I want you to know that your writings are very personal and touching. Also, keep in mind that life from here on out will not be easy, and that Allah will henceforth test you, as well as be with you throughout those test. I want to remind you that you have to start being in a sort of way "selfish" and be around those things and people that will help your deen, not hinder it.

Most importantly, rememeber that Allah is the Guider, the Planner, the Most Merciful, the Forgiver, and the Concealer. So keep on doing what your doing and try to conceal your sins. For if you conceal them so will Allah in this dunya and the next, Inshallah.

Keep your head up. Keep learning. And Keep strong.

Jazakoum Allahu Khair

Was Salamu Alaykum

Allah Ma3k

on November 21, 2004 12:01 AM
amatullah said

as salaamu alaikum

may Allah keep u on the straight path brother. Those who see darkness and then come to light...alhumdulillah, how beautiful is that light that darkness becomes detestable to even think of.

may Allah illuminate our lives with His Noor.It is only through Allah's Mercy that He guides us even though we are so sinful and we disobey him day-in and day-out. He distributed a mere 1 % of His Mercy amongst creation - it's through this 1% that a Mum feels love for her child , that animals would not hesitate to die protecting their young...Alhumdulillah How Merciful our Lord is, that when we commit a sin, he gives us time to repent right uptil death, although we DESERVE to be punished there and then. And how Merciful our Lord is that if we have to THINK of doing a good deed we will be rewarded , while if we have to THINK of a bad deed we are not awarded a bad deed to our records unless we actually commit the sin. And How Merciful our Lord is that even though our actions are drenched in insincerity and hypocrisy He does not expose us.Allahu Akbar! Oh Allah forgive us and shower us with YOUR INFINIE MERCY. Ameen!

on May 1, 2005 9:55 AM
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