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December 14, 2004
If Only...

by Sister Juhayna


As-salaam alaikum wa rahmutullahi wa barakatu, Here’s a light-hearted article to hopefully lift your spirits before finals and as a change from all the serious (but very good, masha’Allah) articles on Hidaya.

As Asmaa entered the bathroom of the Paul Robeson Cultural Center, she saw her friend Aminah looking frustrated over trying to fix her hijab.

“What’s wrong?”Asmaa asked, “You look really mad.”

Aminah replied “I am mad! This stupid scarf won’t stay on right! It keeps shifting and slipping and doing all these weird things. I have to keep fixing it every five minutes! It’s getting on my nerves!!” she said as she threw her scarf off onto the sink area.

“You mean, you haven’t heard?” Asmaa asked.

“Heard what?” said Aminah.

“Of the new product that was just invented for this problem...The Hijab Spray!”

“Hijab Spray?!” Aminah asked, confused.

“Yes, the Hijab Spray. So many girls have problems with their scarves moving back, moving up, shifting this way and that way, and ALLAH only knows how else. It’s so frustrating to have put on your scarf on perfectly in the morning, only to have it move back and show a whole lock of hair!! I mean, having that one hair stick out is bad enough, but having a whole bunch of hairs show! AstaghfirAllah! But now, the Hijab spray solves all that,” said Asmaa.

“Really? What does it do? Does it really work?” asked Aminah.

“The Hijab spray is much like hair spray. You put on your scarf and spray the Hijab spray on, and voila, it stays perfect for as long as you want it to. Just like how non-Muslims have nice hair-dos that stay perfect for a long time, we can keep our Hijab-dos for hours! And does it work? Why just look at my scarf. It’s as straight as when I put it on yesterday!” Asmaa said.

“Yesterday?! Wow, it holds for that long? Amazing! But wait, what about strong winds and when it rains? You know how we ‘hijabis’ like to use our scarves as our umbrellas, instead of actually using one.” Aminah replied.

“No problem! Hijab spray comes in Super hold, Ultra hold, and Super-Duper Ultimate hold, for hurricane, tornado, or typhoon season. Plus Hijab Spray is waterproof so it will stay on now matter how much it pours, or even when we shower with our Hijab, since, as everyone knows, we almost never take our Hijab off. See, Hijab spray even holds while you’re tossing and turning in your sleep...so you’ll never have to take off your Hijab...not that you would anyway.” Asmaa told her.

“Wow that’s amazing. But wait, let’s say I need to wash my Hijab. I mean, wearing it in the shower and sleeping with it, as we do, it can’t be good for the scarf not to be cleaned, and we Muslims must be clean and smell fresh you know. How will Hijab spray come off if it’s waterproof?”Aminah asked.

Asmaa replied, “That’s easy, Hijab spray comes off with soap and water, just not water alone. So laundry detergent will take Hijab spray off so you can wash your scarf and wear it again in whole new way.”

“Asmaa, this is amazing. I can’t believe I haven’t heard of it sooner. I need to get me some of this Hijab spray now, before I go crazy trying to fix my scarf again in another 5 minutes.” Aminah told her friend excitedly.

Asmaa replied, “Yup, it’s a life-saver alright. Thank ALLAH for this wonderful product. But until you get your own, you can use mine now to fix your scarf.” “Ameen to that sister! And Jazaka’Allah Khair for telling me about this and for letting me use yours. I’ll never have a bad Hijab day again!”said Aminah “Ameen!” they both said in unison.

Disclaimer: If you didn’t get something in this article, please ask. I’ve gotten some bad feedback about it before because people misunderstood the message and took it a lot more seriously than they should have. It is PURELY satirical and for amusement purposes only. Jazak’Allah khair and hope you enjoyed it. :) Oh and I know you are not supposed to say Allah’s name in the bathroom, but this is fiction so it’s ok. :)


of and relating to...
gillette said

hmm....beard spray....

can one of the sisters try spraying hairspray on her hijab?

on December 14, 2004 12:59 PM
Justoju said

I tried. Hairspray doesnt do anything. I am going back to the concrete paste.

I am sure hairspray would work for beards though. You all could also try something like John Frieda's Frizz-Ease or something to keep it from getting frizzy and make it smooth and well-tamed.

Actually, now that I think about it...you could use just about any styling product on the beard and make it do just about anything you want.

I'll experiment once I grow my beard out a few more inches.

I love this piece. It would make a great commercial.

on December 14, 2004 2:35 PM
2_cents said

A tight head band (atleat a few inches wide) helps quite a bit. My hair used to come out of teh sides all teh time, no matter how tight the scarf got. Then I saw my sister's trick -- tie the hair in a knot, wear a wide head band ( preferably of cotton material), then the scarf.

Also, it helps if the scarf isn't made of silk, gorget, etc. They slip off easy, even with the head band. Cotton might be the way to go, but most hijabs sold aren't made of cotton (If you really want to, it's best to make 'em at home. Just a square piece of cloth, folded diagnally).

on December 14, 2004 3:20 PM
Talal said

Yeah... georgette sucks for ga6ras* (or goootras as non-khaleejis say :D) too.
Same for chicken and chiffon...
Stick to cotton people.

*the male hijab**

**head scarf, not the embodiment of modesty

on December 14, 2004 3:23 PM
Justoju said

chicken is called 'eyelet' in America.

For those that dont know, its that fabric that has holes in it (of various sizes, depending on the roll) that aunties make clothes out of.

Advice for ladies: headbands are good. So are tie-able cotton-blend hijab-caps that you wear underneath your hijab. Once you have the hijab cap on, you can wear a hijab of any fabric because not only will it not budge, but you also wont be able to see anything underneath (cuz your hair is inside the cap). They are pretty comfortable.

on December 14, 2004 3:29 PM
Amani said

I agree about the headbands. Actually, what I found to work better was these underscarf things I bought from Egypt. They're like a headband, have a front piece like that of the one- or two-piece hijabs. They're supposed to be for wearing a wrap, leaving the front showing for a two-color effect, but I just wear it underneath to keep my hair in. Umm..it's hard to describe.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about it's ok because I barely understand what I just said either. :)

on December 14, 2004 4:31 PM
Justoju said

Amani, I love you :)

Also, since we are talking about hijabs, I wanted to say something to the brothers.

When its time to pray, you guys usually give time for the people to make wudu. But what you often dont realize is that sisters need double the time for wudu that brothers need. Why? Because we need to disassemble a masterpiece of a hijab and assemble it again. A hijab is not just something you throw on your head, there are caps, headbands, pins (safety pins and stick-pins), and calculations of symmetry involved. Many sisters who wear abayas over their clothes need to take the abayas off when they make wudu so that they dont get them wet. So for future reference, just cuz you see that most of the guys are done with wudu and ready to go doesnt mean that EVERYONE is ready. There is usually a crowd of sisters in the bathroom trying to get done and get out.

on December 14, 2004 4:49 PM
Amani said

Awwww, Justoju!...thanks. LOL. :P Right back at ya. ;)

Am I the only one who doesn't take the pins off her hijab when she needs to take it off/put it back on? I remember people being in awe as to how fast I put my hijab back on once and surprised at when I told them I just leave the pins in and slip it on and off. If there's an underscarf involved, you just need to have an opposite pulling technicque...one hand pulling the scarf on and the other holding the underscarf in position.

It takes some practice, but it can be done!

Oh and I sell scarf pins if anyone is interested. :;D

on December 14, 2004 4:53 PM
gillette said

how important is prayer in congregation for a woman?

on December 14, 2004 9:47 PM
Amani said

I think it depends on the person so I will only speak for myself...

For me, it depends on the situation. I'd prefer to pray in congregation because of the extra hasanat but there are times when I would rather pray alone (i.e. if I am uncomfortable with the Imam for some reason, etc). Otherwise, yeah, I'd say it's important to pray together.

on December 14, 2004 11:25 PM
Justoju said

It is better for them to pray in their houses...BUT...if the men are going to publically pray with women behind them (some of those women being new to certain aspects of Islam), it would be 'considerate' of them to take a moment to ask one of the sisters if there are many other sisters doing their wudu in the bathroom.

Some things to consider:

- It is not impermissable for women to pray in congregation. It is not haram and the prayer is still valid. So its better not to make this an 'issue'. There are some parts of the deen that are not easy for 'modern' muslim women (who are bred on stereotypes and see the world from post-modern western lens) to accept right in the beginning. Sometimes they just need some time and patience. If you scare them right in the beginning ("those muslims are sexist") they could use it as an excuse to move away from their deen and from the religious.
For this reason, I think its important to not make a public issue out of something that isnt clearly haram and to try to be 'considerate' to the sisters and try to facilitate their path towards Islam, Muslims, and pursuit of 'ilm. As they learn more, they will automatically prefer prayer in the home (when possible) because they will see that they get as much reward in it as a man gets when praying in congregation. Its just that the 'extra credit' is given for praying in a diff. place for men and women.

- Despite the fact that it is better to pray in ones home, sometimes you have to be in school for the whole day. Now, when the call to prayer happens, and you see people praying in congregation, what are your options at that time? You cant go home, and you have to pray wherever you are. Should you wait for the congregational prayer to end so that you can have your own separate prayer, or should you go someplace else and pray there? I think the most sensible thing, in that scenario, would be to just join the congregation. Isha prayer is not a problem cuz the sisters could easily go home and pray it there if they miss it. But for other prayers, where the sisters are RIGHT THERE and WANT to pray in congregation (which is not impermissable), it would be nice if the brothers could lower the wing of mercy and be considerate (which they usually are mashaAllah).

Besides, women love brothers that are considerate. You all will get married faster.

on December 15, 2004 1:28 AM
Justoju said

Women Praying at the Masjid & The Nature of Moral Responsibility (Sunnipath)
http://www.sunnipath.com/resources/Questions/QA00001310.aspx

Women and Congregation (Islam Q&A)
http://63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=eng&ds=qa&lv=browse&QR=12451&dgn=4

Women and Congregational Prayer (Sunnipath)
http://www.sunnipath.com/resources/Questions/qa00004677.aspx

Prayer of Men in Mosque (Almaghrib forums)
http://forums.almaghrib.org/showthread.php?t=466

on December 15, 2004 2:30 AM
Talal said

Heh.. even without the fatawa... you had the brothers with
"Besides, women love brothers that are considerate. You all will get married faster."

:D

on December 15, 2004 2:33 AM
Mohammed Irfan Shariff said

Salaams,
I love the entry, even though i am a brother i wrap my head with a hijab sometimes as well. I call it the "man-jab" its just t-shirt tied around my forehead......but then comes off as a portable prayer mat lol

on December 15, 2004 2:53 AM
Justoju said

I wish I could use my hijab as a prayer mat, but I dont think its allowed for me.

Br. Talal-- yeah, I figured. I should have just posted that one line and saved myself the bother of writing the rest.

Sr. Amani-- I used to be able to slip my hijab on/off without removing the pins, but found that it became too difficult a task after I entered the world of hijab caps/bands. There is too much friction and the caps/bands dont stay put when I slide the pre-assembled hijab on. You know what I mean. We need to have hijab workshops or something.

on December 15, 2004 3:12 AM
2_cents said

Also, for those of us who have slippery/silky hair, or are just having a bad hair day (hijabis have it too) and it's peeking out from everywhere (not to mention standing up everytime you take your hijab off for wudu), try a drop, or a few, of oil. Don't laugh, it really works. Gets the static out, so it's easier to manage, and faster when you're in a hurry to catch the congregation ;)

Just tie your hair up if you can. Then rub a very small amount (a drop or a few) on your palm. Then with that palm, go over teh areas of your hair that crawls out most (front and sides in my experience).

It works for me atleast. Also for those who don't wanna use oil due to the smell associated with some of 'em, use J & J unscented baby oil, or olive oil.

Hope this helps.

on December 15, 2004 12:43 PM
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