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December 17, 2004
Marriage Considerations III: Hardball

by Justoju

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Disclaimer:
This piece is not an auto-biographical story about ME. I am not Huda. Huda's personality and strengths are not mine. Huda is a fictitious character, much too perfect to be real, and if her account seems credible it is because that is how many 'religiously motivated' girls feel when they are in the situation described in the story. Whatever the reader's personal feelings towards Huda (regarding her expectations, reactions, etc), please note that they should not be extended to this novice writer who is, ultimately, simply experimenting with fiction.

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“Look, Huda, Islam teaches us how to take care of each other and how to fulfill the rights of others. It teaches us how to be a good person. I don’t think I am a bad person if I miss some prayers or have a little fun sometimes after putting in a hard day as an exploited resident. I am not hurting anyone. I am not a fundamentalist and I think it’s important to see the spirit of the religion. I mean, one day I hope to be a better Muslim, but right now I am ok with how I am. I want to know more about you. I am sure there is more to you than just all this Islamic stuff. I think we should really give each other a chance, I mean I think we could really balance one other. And I think we could have some chemistry.”

Huda stared at her shoes.
“I could have been organizing my sock drawer right now…” she thought.
“What in the bloody hell am I supposed to do with his guy? This requires way too much work. What a waste of rishta time. I could have had that other guy over tonight…oh well, qadrAllah…Alhamdulillah…”

She suddenly remembered that Usman was waiting for her response and staring at her with those same blissfully pretentious gray eyes.

“ Listen, Usman, its really flattering that you think we could be good for one another and could have chemistry and all that, but, there is one small thing you are neglecting…”

“Your looks?...My my my, aren’t we conceited” he laughed.
”I appreciate them too. MashaAllah.”

“No. My essence”

“Your smell?” He laughed, struggling to make her lighten up. “I cant smell you from here.”

“No Usman, I am talking about my human essence. I am talking what it is that defines me, which makes me who I am as a person, as an individual. Tell me, why are you here right now? What do you like about me that is motivating you to want to move forward with this?”

“Uhh, well, our father’s are old school buddies. You speak Urdu, and are from a respectable Pakistani family.”

He paused and looked down for a moment before looking back up and starting slowly; carefully measuring and weighing his words as he collected them in his mind. He didn’t want to say too much and he didn’t want to give ‘everything’ away. The last thing he needed was for this girl and for his siblings to start thinking he was a stalker or something.

“ I actually know a lot more about you than you think. You don’t remember this but I remember seeing you at that Strings concert in NYC years ago. Your friend Ma’isah is married to my friend Faran. Back when they were still ‘seeing’ each other, I remember him pointing her out at the concert. You had been standing right next to her. You were wearing a kamiz with pants, and a grayish-blue hijab. I remember because I had taken a picture of Ma’isah for Faran and you can be seen in the background with your back to the camera. Those were my ‘early’ college years and I wasn’t too into hijaabis then, but there was something different about you. I don’t know what to call it…it was like a...a spark of some sort. Like no one could contain you or handle you or something. It was weird. Anyway, Faran told me your name. That was years ago. Then, recently, our dads ‘discovered’ each other and spoke on the phone. Next thing you know my dad was running after me wanting me to consider some ‘Huda Rumaysah Ansari’ for marriage. Your name sounded familiar, but I couldn’t place it. When I finally figured it out, I asked Ma’isah for more info. I have even read the poems that you wrote for your high school’s literary magazine. Lets just say, I am pretty confident when it comes to my Huda FAQ’s.”

Huda had been listening carefully. She realized that he thought she was someone else. He was looking at her, but he still couldn’t see her.

She almost felt sorry for him. He had gone through so much trouble for nothing. Despite the number of times she had done this, she still knew pity. She still knew disappointment when she saw it and she hated being the cause of it. But, she couldn’t marry every guy she felt sorry for, she would quickly remind herself. That’s not how it worked. That’s not how she wanted her future to be written. The future was worth too much.

Her heart, softened with pity, caused her to smile slightly with mercy. She spoke to him gently, with care.

“Confident about your Huda FAQ’s? Brother, I am not the girl I was in high school. Ma’isah and I haven’t spoken in years. The girl that you thought you saw was someone else. You wont find her in this house.”

“No Huda, it was you. You may dress differently and move differently, but its still you. You still have that…spark…People don’t change. I think I know your type. I can handle the real you.”

She stared solemnly at a small green flower in the carpet, her mind deep in thought, her eyes far away. She spoke without looking up, without breaking her concentration.

“You may be right. I might not have changed.
But I can tell you one thing, I despise what I was then.
I hate that person.
Even if people don’t change, I still want to die trying to. If you liked that girl, then understand this, I have taken it upon myself to finish her. You are not speaking to her right now, you are speaking to her enemy.”

“WHAT a drama queen!" he laughed.

" That girl was and is wonderful. She had the best of all worlds. I think you need to stay ‘balanced’. You are young and naive, Huda. You don’t know what the real world is like. You need to stop being so dramatic about everything and start seeing things from more of a rational and realistic perspective.”

“Usman, I think I AM being rational and realistic. But you wont see it as that because to you the things that lie at the very foundation of my desires and hopes are nothing more than silly emotional pedagogy. The things that really define a person are hidden from those that are not defined by those same things.

I don’t think you have any idea what it is in me that gives me hope for my future. Do you?”

No answer.

“Usman, it’s the kalimah. It’s my belief in it. I know that as long as I have it, and hold on to it, I will be fine. THAT is what gives me hope for my future and THAT is the only, ONLY thing about me that holds any value. That is the only part of myself that I truly prize and that I quake at the thought of losing. That is the only thing I am proud of. That is the only thing I want people to see in me.”

“But I am Muslim too! I believe in the kalimah also! Believe it or not Huda, most Muslims do. What is the big deal? C’mon, we aren’t that different Huda. Just give this a chance.”

“Most people would think I am quite a catch.” He laughed at his joke.

She smiled sadly, knowingly. He wouldn’t understand. It was time to end this.

“A man like you, Usman, is not easily turned away, but I don’t think you want the life I want to live. If I am mistaken, and you do, then please forgive me and tell me that we share the same vision of complete submission. You might think I am an extremist for what I am about to tell you, but this is who I am and to me none of this is ‘extreme’.
You want to know me?
You want me to give this a chance?
Fine, then listen.

I don’t watch television or movies unless the program is purely educational and clean. I don’t listen to any music that is unislamic in content or instrument. I don’t like going to parties or gatherings where there is unhalaal music.

I don’t like to eat out too much because I don’t like to eat from the hands of kaafirs with soiled hearts. I try to stay away from ‘kosher’ and stick to halaal zabeeha. When I buy something it is after having made sure that each ingredient is not derived from any animal sources. I stopped eating cheesecake from ‘The Cheesecake Factory’ after I made a few phone calls and found out that their cheesecakes contained non-kosher mono & diglycerides from animal sources.

I don’t like ‘chilling out’ with my cousins or other nonmahram men. When my husband’s friends come in the house, I don’t plan on joking with them, talking to them, or even being seen by them.

I like to go to separated gatherings where the men cannot see or hear the women. That is where I am the most comfortable and at home.

I don’t like pointless gatherings where there is gossip or idle talk. I talk too much and I plan to change that InshaAllah, but that will never happen as long as I hang around people that encourage my banter. I want to make my every moment into ibadah.

I teach at the masjid and want to devote my life to educating the young of our ummah. I volunteer at a battered women's shelter and work in a soup kitchen to help the unfortunate in my community. My dawah is through my attempts to improve the situation of the nonmuslims in my community. It isnt much, and it isnt enough, but it is something I plan to hold on to for the rest of my life.

I stopped wearing western clothing—even the long and loose kind—because I wanted to assert my Muslim identity and because I was sick and tired of the ‘advertised lifestyle’ that the ruling capitalists around the world want us to spend our lives running after, like rats in wheels. I don’t want to buy, eat, wear, or want anything that they want to try to get me to for the sake of their wallets and agendas. I don’t want to be part of the “machinery of kufr”. I want my lifestyle and tastes to be dictated by Islamic needs, not superficial brainwashed ones. I want to show people that it is OK to be different and that we don’t need to be cookie-cutter replicas of the people applauded by popular culture in order to be happy, confident, or successful.

I want to go to the Middle East and study in an Arabic-speaking country. I want to spend my entire life in study.

I want to homeschool my children and give them a fighting chance to develop and find themselves, to find their Islamic fitra, unburdened by the psychological influences, insecurities, limitations and brainwashing of the western educational system. I want my children to walk upon, and eat the fruits of the soil that the Prophets, may peace be upon them all, tread upon and are buried under. I want them to drink of the purified water that was once used by the salaf to make wudu and to revive the wounded on the battlefield. I want their first words to be the call of the adhan, and their coolest moments to be under the shade of the shuyukh.

This is what ‘I’ want.

This is who I am.

And if I am not this, then I want to BE this;

and if I cant BE this then I want to die trying and striving and fighting for it;
and I will not let any man, or any creation within the seven levels of Creation, stop me from wanting this or from striving for it.”

She paused and then resolutely raised her head until she was looking him straight in the eye. His gray vision pierced by the intensity of flashing pools of pure black.

“You think you can handle me?”

Usman could not shoulder her gaze and looked away. It was a while before he could find his voice.
Everyone in the room was silent.

“I don’t think we are right for each other”


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To be continued...


of and relating to...
asif said

Salaam:

This is very refreshing, Masha'Allah.

I think it was clear (from part 2) that Usman was not the right match for Huda. This article, however, is more about WHO Huda is, or aspires to be.
In reality, all what Huda mentions as her aims and goals are very tangible and achievable, Insha'Allah. She has the Core value-of The Kalimah-which defines her identity, her being...and a human cannot have complete identity without the Kalimah. She is right on! This is the ONLY way a muslim should live their life...there is no two ways about it.
Insha'Allah, she will eventually meet the right person at the right time. Someone who will be appreciative, supporting, respecting, and loving of her for who she is.

Having said this, there is also a possibility that Usman may bounce back and reflect upon what he heard from Huda, and perhaps he may turn on a new leaf (later down the road) and be more aligned with Huda's aspiration. If he does, Insha'Allah, then he should seek a lady such as Huda for spouse so that they can complement each other.

JazakAllah for the article.

on December 17, 2004 7:15 AM
Nadia said

Subhanallah! This is the most beautiful episode of "marriage considerations" so far. I admire the aspirations which Huda holds and I love these lines:
"She almost felt sorry for him. He had gone through so much trouble for nothing. Despite the number of times she had done this, she still knew pity. She still knew disappointment when she saw it and she hated being the cause of it. But, she couldn’t marry every guy she felt sorry for, she would quickly remind herself. That’s not how it worked. That’s not how she wanted her future to be written. The future was worth too much."

So very true Mashallah. I hope I can act upon this piece of advice since I care for others a little too much.
Jazakallah khair and May Allah (swt) enable all the Muslims siters to share the same goals as Huda does and may Allah(swt) enable all the brothers to come upto Huda's expectations. Ameen.

on December 17, 2004 11:16 AM
ibtisam said

Huda is very interesting and funny.
But please lay off the gray eyes.
Personally gray eyes are prettier than "pure black flashing pools."

on December 17, 2004 11:29 AM
asif said

Sister Ibtisam: All colors of the eyes are wonderful. Obviously the less common colors may seem prettier because of their rarity.

However, if YOU ASK ME...I prefer Darker shades for eyes...

Anyways, what do I know...I am color blind!
hahahahah..

on December 17, 2004 12:02 PM
Jannah said

my fav part:

"and if I cant BE this then I want to die trying and striving and fighting for it;
and I will not let any man, or any creation within the seven levels of Creation, stop me from wanting this or from striving for it.”

jihad and feminism at its best- oooh

on December 17, 2004 1:12 PM
Justoju said

"This is the most beautiful episode of "marriage considerations" so far"

The best is yet to come... :)

And there is no insult meant to gray eyes. Many of my cousins have colored eyes and I have no prejudices against those with colored eyes. I gave him gray eyes because that color is symbolic.

on December 17, 2004 1:39 PM
Justoju said

and credit goes to Sheikh Hamza Yusuf for the "machinery of kufr" phrase (I wish I could take credit for it). Most of the thoughts in that paragraph actually are ones that I learned from him and other shuyukh.

I have a couple of challenges for you all. I will give them one at a time.

First challenge: What do you think 'Rumaysah' is alluding to?
Hint: For those of you that are fans, it has nothing to do with 'Abu Rumaysah'. Rumaysah is the name of a woman in Islamic history who I consider to be one of my role models for various reasons. Tell me how she is connected to our heroine.
Fill in the blank- Her kunya is "Umm_____". Who was she married to?

on December 17, 2004 2:14 PM
Rami said

Asalaam Aleikum Warahmatullah Wabarakatu,

She was completely dedicated to the upringing of her child as a righteous Muslim even though Her husband oppesed her and remained Kaafir.

She brought up all of her 7 children to memorize the Qu'ran. (Dedicating herself to the upbringing of the Mu'mins of the future Ummah)

She married for the deen and helped to increase the Eman of her husband so much so that he was one of those who pledged allegiance to the prophet at Al-Aqabah.

For anyone who wants to read the full story:
http://web.umr.edu/~msaumr/reference/companions/English/rumaysa.html

Wasalaam Warahmatullah Wabarakatu

on December 17, 2004 2:47 PM
Justoju said

I need to remember to make the next few challenges more...umm...challenging.

"We have never yet heard of a mahr that was more valuable and precious than that of Umm Sulaym for she made Islam her mahr."

on December 17, 2004 3:05 PM
Belal Khan said

yoooo.....

...HOT Story. To bad shes a fictional character.

on December 17, 2004 3:40 PM
Imran said

Mashallah, what a great article, well what can I say apart from attachment to anything other than the lord of the worlds and his beloved is futile. Its all temporal and shall perish. I guess Huda realises that, mashallah she must be commended for her spiritual rank, may Allah increase her in it, but nothing is raised in this world (with a few exceptions) except that it is lowered. Everyone has their highs and lows but we must constantly be in a mode of correcting and defeating our naffs, some are better than others, and its a life long struggle but by clinging to the path with pure intention inshallah Allah will provide a fath(opening) but only with due patience, dilligence and sincerity.

A reminder to us all,

Everything your heart desires in in the essence of Allah, so desire the essence of Allah and you shall have your hearts desire.

on December 17, 2004 4:05 PM
Bint Abdul Khaliq said

as Salaamu Alaikum

MashALLAH...Huda's spirit has touched my heart

Was Salaam

on December 17, 2004 4:11 PM
gillette said

“I could have been organizing my sock drawer right now…” she thought.

lol

on December 17, 2004 7:42 PM
Justoju said

Any insights anyone? Does anyone think she is being too harsh? Any words on the evolution in her character over the years? Anyone want to talk about the symbolism of eye colors or the symbolism of the gaze in the story thus far? What is her attitude thus far? Is this truly realistic? Sisters, what would you do if you were in her shoes and how would you reply to Usman. Brothers, what would you have said had you been Usman?

...and Brother Belal, do not for a moment ever think that girls like this dont exist. They are out there, reserved for the ones that are their equals in ambition and values. If you like Huda then dont ever lower your standards and always strive to find someone like her. When Ustaadh Muhammad AlShareef was here for the "Marriage: Whats love got to do with it" lecture (you know, the one where NO ONE yelled out "DURRBAAAAAH"), he spoke a lot about how if you want a certain type of girl you will need to make yourself the type of guy the 'she' makes dua for.

Also, in part 2, I gave readers the opportunity to have themselves (or their name at least) entered into the story. If I guy won he would have the vicarious pleasure of seeing a character with his name marry Huda. If you are interested you can go into the comments for part 2 you will find the details.

on December 17, 2004 8:39 PM
Justoju said

Br. Gillette- you are amused by the strangest of things.

Br. Imran- when will you be writing another poem for us?

Sr. Jannah- Jihad and Feminism...sounds like a hot topic for an MSA event :)

on December 17, 2004 9:16 PM
Nisa said

MashaAllah ukthi...that was amazing.

"Does anyone think she is being too harsh?"

Not at all. I admire Sr Huda for speaking from the heart.

"Any words on the evolution in her character over the years?"

Truly when the heart is open to all sources of 'ilm and has a pure desire to seek the pleasure of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, it becomes illuminated and the character can only be further polished. Mind you, the right niyyah can only make the above possible. I think most Muslims go through a period of growth. When you allow your eeman to soar to heights never reached before, you strengthen the soul and allow it to return to the fitra.

"What is her attitude thus far?"

Sister power at its best :)

"Is this truly realistic? Sisters, what would you do if you were in her shoes and how would you reply to Usman."

I really hope so...personally, I wouldn't have the confidence or guts to speak out the way she did. I think after asking the necessary questions and determining the match was a no-go, I'd opt for the mummy card and let the parents deal with matters.

Can't wait for the next part inshaAllah!

on December 17, 2004 9:36 PM
ibtisam said

Wait for my reply habibti Justoju
I will give you challenge and a sensational reply. Everyone is contending and agreeing with you and although, I am not going to disagree "PER SE" but I will play the other advocate and give you HARDBALL.
By the way, I wish you can meet my parents, They really know how to get their points across and win.
But anyways, I am not trying to be evil or anything here. I just wanna add a little commotion, a little fun to the discussion, intellectual spice? what do you say, should I give my input after finals?

Till then
Masalaama habibti

on December 17, 2004 10:47 PM
ibn quraish said

Assalamu Alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu

The only thing that I felt was missing was the need of Huda to help others such as poor, illiterate, etc.

I also found the quote "I don’t like to eat out too much because I don’t like to eat from the hands of kaafirs with soiled hearts." a bit harsh or maybe I didn't understand it correctly.

on December 17, 2004 10:48 PM
Justoju said

Sister Ibtisam-- bring it on. After finals would be best since apparently I have this whole other life outside of Hidaya that I need to take care of. I discovered this when Hidaya was down yesterday. Lemme tell you, I definitely like my Hidaya life better.

Son of the Quraish--lemme add the community service stuff in right now.

:)

And what was meant by her line is that she prefers to eat at halaal places (which obviously is an option for her) as opposed to nonmuslim establishments. Maybe it is because she wants to support muslim businesses. Maybe it is because she has disdain and disgust for anything that does not recognize the truth of Islam. Maybe it is because she simply does not 'trust' the hands of nonmuslims. We shall see...

on December 18, 2004 1:38 AM
Justoju said

There is a sahih hadith that talks about the black stone originally being white and then being made black by the hands of the idolaters. If anyone has that hadith, please post it here for me. I dont want anyone to go out of their way for it, inshaAllah I can do the search myself later and find it.

on December 18, 2004 6:24 AM
Imran said

Salam

Im not sure if this is what you wanted,

May allah bless sayidunnah Abbas and all those that go up and down through his mubarak lineage

Ibn `Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “When the Black Stone came down from Paradise, it was whiter than milk, but the sins of the sons of Adam made it black.” (At-Tirmidhi, Sunan)

on December 18, 2004 12:29 PM
Justoju said

I love Ibn 'Abbas (RA)...but thats another story...isnt there another 'sister' hadith that specifically mentions the hands of the idolaters?

on December 18, 2004 3:01 PM
Imran said

another 'sister' hadith ???????????????

on December 18, 2004 3:29 PM
Justoju said

meaning another hadith, about the same subject, but worded slightly differently.

on December 18, 2004 3:33 PM
Justoju said

Challenge #2: Going back to the Huda/Rumaysa(h) connection, can anyone give me another thing that they both share? Part of a quote perhaps?

on December 18, 2004 3:42 PM
ibtisam said

r u done with your finals?

on December 18, 2004 3:46 PM
asher said

assalamualaikum,

Masha'allah great series...

I do read the articles on hidaya, but usually don't comment (I think this is my second time)...

Anyway, I know what was being conveyed in this part of the story, but nonetheless, wanted to mention it...

"That’s not how she wanted her future to be written. The future was worth too much."

Future not written??

The Prophet (PBUH) said: “The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried.” Narrated and classed as saheeh by al-Tirmidhi (2516) from Ibn Abbaas.

(Once again, I get what it means. English language has its constraints)

Hmm...Wondering if I should ask this during finals time?
Oh well, here it goes...

Can Qadr be changed? If so, how?

Assalamualaikum

on December 18, 2004 5:17 PM
asif said

Qadr is one of the unknowns...The Ghaib, that is.
However, your intentions and actions are usually what you choose it to be. Let me explain this very simply if I may.

Lets say its written in my Qadr that I am going to Hell...Its a Done Deal...its written.

Now No one knows about this, except Allah...including myself.

However, what I have in this life is the Quraan, the Sunnah, and the hope that if I obey Allah and His Rasul (sal-lal-la-hu-Wassalaam) then I will be successfull, Insha'Allah....and so I keep doing the good things as much as I can.

BUT, since its written in Qadr that I will go to Hell, then eventually I will, aint no two ways about it.

See, Only Allah decides WHO goes into Jannah...NO ONE ELSE...regardless of our intentions and or actions.

So to answer your question, how you can change Qadr...is the wrong question to begin with. For us Qadr is unknown so we cant change something that we dont know.

...the muslims should rather ask and be "hopeful" that Allah forgives their shortcomings and make them Successful in this life and hereafter.......
Hopefully this helps...Insha'Allah

on December 18, 2004 5:38 PM
Justoju said

Sr. Ibtisam- no, I just dont want my finals to smell my fear. I'll attack them when they are least expecting it...believe it or not, despite all this commenting, I actually finished a fairly large paper on Dialectical Materialism today. I think I will make this my last comment for the day though so that I can do other things like brush my teeth and eat and stuff. (its a joke. I brushed my teeth at fajr. relax)

Br. Asher, excellent point and its a pleasure to have you commenting on Hidaya (again). This is really a bad time for this, but I cant help myself.

As you pointed out, part of our aqidah is the belief in destiny and that all has already been written. When Huda says that thats not how she wants her future to be written, it is referring more to 'want' than anything else. I am going to try to explain what Huda meant.

Think about it this way, I am sure you have some idea of how you would like your future (which is already written) to look like on the pages of the Loh-e-Mahfoodh (Guarded Tablet). Though it has already been written, we have some idea of what it is that we hope is written for us. For example, I hope and pray that it is written in my destiny for me to be a good muslim, a good person, etc... Similarly, Huda doesnt want for the pages of her destiny to say that she lived a life of muslim mediocrity. We believe in divine destiny, but we also believe that it is fardh upon us to strive for the good and to not give up hope.

So, with that said, I pray that Allah, Glorious and Exalted, has written for me to finish this other paper today...and now I am going to go do it.

...talk amongst yourselves...

on December 18, 2004 5:42 PM
Justoju (LAST ONE) said

“The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, though there is good in both. Be avid for that which benefits you. Rely on Allah and do not deem yourself incapable…”

--Prophet Muhammad (SAW)
[Muslim, Ibn Majah, and Ahmad]

on December 18, 2004 5:45 PM
ibtisam(lastoneaswell) said

I love all the sisters on this forum for the sake of Allaah.
May Allaah give me hidayah, ameen

on December 18, 2004 5:51 PM
gillette said

i suggest, before you get into a useless debate on qadr, that you start quoting the pious scholars of the past when speaking on aqidah issues.

imam at-tahawi said:

"121. So woe to anyone who argues with Allah concerning the decree [qadr]
122. and who, with a sick heart, starts delving into this matter.
123. In his deluded attempt to investigate the Unseen, he is seeking a secret that can never be uncovered,
124. and he ends up an evil-doer, telling nothing but lies."

on December 18, 2004 7:10 PM
gillette said

http://muslims.rutgers.edu/tahawiyyah.doc

on December 18, 2004 7:12 PM
Nisa said

He also reports the hadeeth of ibn Umar (radiyAllahu 'anhum)from the Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam that he said, "Supplication brings about benefit to those things that have occurred and those things that have not yet occurred. So devote yourselves to supplication O servants of Allaah!"

[Mishkaat al-Masaabeeh [Eng. Trans. 1/472], at-Tirmidhee [no. 3548] and al-Haakim [1/493]. The hadeeth is hasan due to witnesses as declared so by as-Sakhaawee and al-Albaanee. Refer to: 'Saheeh al-Jaami' [1/641 no. 3409] and 'Maqaasid al-Hasanah' of as-Sakhaawee [pg. 255 under no. 486].]

He also reports the hadeeth of Thawbaan from the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam that he said, "Nothing but supplication averts the decree and nothing but righteousness increases the life-span. Indeed a person is deprived of provision due to performing sins."

[Mishkaat al-Masaabeeh [Eng. Trans. 2/1026]. Reported by Ahmad [5/277, 280], ibn Maajah [chpt. 10, no.90], al-Haakim [1/493], ibn Abee Shaybah [10/441], ibn Hibbaan [no. 1090], al-Baghawee [6/13] and al-Qudaa`ee [no. 831]. The isnaad is da`eef but the hadeeth has a support that strengthens it from the hadeeth of Salmaan with the words, "Nothing but supplication averts the decree, and nothing but righteousness increases the life-span." Reported by at-Tabaraanee in 'al-Kabeer' [no.6128], at-Tirmidhee [no.2139] and others.]

on December 18, 2004 7:37 PM
Rami said

Asalaam Aleikum Warahmatullah Wabarakatu,

"Can Qadr be changed? If so, how?"

yes, dua.

The Imam at my masjid just narrated a hadith on this a few weeks ago saying that dua and qadr vie against each other. He narrated the hadith in arabic and then translated it. I can ask him to narrate it to me again since I don;t know what to search use as keywords on the hadith searching tool.

Wasalaam Warahmatullah Wabarakatu

on December 19, 2004 2:19 AM
Rami said

Asalaam Aleikum Warahmatullah Wabarakatu,

Challenge #2: Going back to the Huda/Rumaysa(h) connection, can anyone give me another thing that they both share? Part of a quote perhaps?

"...It’s my belief in it. I know that as long as I have it, and hold on to it, I will be fine. THAT is what gives me hope for my future and THAT is the only, ONLY thing about me that holds any value..."

Wasalaam Warahmatullah Wabarakatu

on December 19, 2004 2:29 AM
Justoju said

Br. Rami, thats good but there is something else. A part of a quote that is much more blatantly obvious as being a 'common' quote. In some ways I kind of see Huda as a reincarnation (if such a nonexistent concept existed) of Rumaysa bint Milhan. She is an amazing inspiration.

on December 19, 2004 3:02 AM
Rami said

Asalaam Aleikum Warahmatullah Wabarakatu,

Becasue of my sub-pseudo scholarness (as Hassan would put it) I was not satisfied with the answer I gave above. Alhamdullilah I found this on Islamonline.net.

Influence of Du`a' on Qadar:

Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear brother in Islam, we really thank you for showing keenness on learning the teachings of Islam, and we appreciate the great confidence you have in us. We hope our efforts meet your expectations.

In Islam Du`a’ is the essence of worship as stated in an authentic Hadith. Qadar (Divine predestination) is a pillar of faith in Allah, as the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, mentioned when asked by Angel Jibril (Gabriel), peace be upon him, about Iman (faith), saying: "It is to believe in Allah, His angels, His Books, His Messengers, and the Last Day, and to believe in Divine predestination, both the good and the evil thereof." (Reported by Muslim)

The eminent Muslim scholar, Dr. `Atiyyah `A. Lashin, Professor of Jurisprudence at Al-Azhar University, states:

"Qadar, or Divine predestination is of two kinds:

1. Unconditional predestination

2. Conditional predestination.

Du`a’ has nothing to do with the first kind, while it may change the second one. This ruling is based on the Hadith that reads: "Nothing could change the Qadar except Du`a’."

(Musnad Ahmad, Vol. 5, Hadith no. 277; Sunan At-Tirmidhi, Vol. 3, Hadith no. 139; and classified as Hasan (good) Hadith by Al-Abaani in Sahih Al-Jami`, Hadith no. 7687)”

Shedding more light on this issue, Dr. Muzammil Siddiqi, former president of the Islamic Society of North America (ISNA) and member of the Fiqh Council of North America, answers:

"Du`a' has great power; it can change many things. We should always pray to Almighty Allah and should never give up hope in the acceptance of Du`a'. Du`a’ is the most important act of worship. It does not mean that we or any other human or jinn have power, but it means that Allah, the Almighty, has power and He can do whatever He wills. Du`a’ is the recognition and acknowledgement of our dependence upon Allah, Most High, and our deep faith that He can change anything. There are many verses in the Qur'an and many Hadiths that emphasize the importance and necessity of Du`a'. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, "Du`a’ benefits in the things that have happened as well as the things that have not happened yet. The calamity comes down, but the Du`a’ confronts it and they may continuously wrestle until the Day of Resurrection." (Reported by Al-Hakim.)

In another Hadith, it is reported that the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, "Nothing can change the Qadar except the Du`a’…" This Hadith is reported by several authorities on Hadith, such as Imam Ahmad, Ibn Hibban, Al-Hakim, and Ibn Majah… etc. Most of the scholars of Hadith consider it an acceptable Hadith.

There is no contradiction between our faith in the power of Du`a’ to Allah and in our belief in the Qada' and Qadar of Allah. Scholars have explained that there are two types of Qada' (Allah’s Decrees):

a. those that are known as Qada' Mubram (absolute decrees);

b. and those that are known as Qada' Mu`allaq (conditional decrees).

The absolute decrees do not change, but the conditional one may change if and when the conditions are fulfilled. Such decrees are based on the fulfillment of causes, as well as Du`a’. However, it is important to keep in mind that every thing is in the pre-existent knowledge of Almighty Allah. The knowledge of Allah, Most High, does not change, but the conditional decrees may change. Allah Almighty says in the Qur'an: "Allah effaceth what He will, and establisheth (what He will), and with Him is the source of ordinance." (Ar-Ra`d: 39)

Some people raise this question: if Allah Almighty knows the future and His knowledge is always true, then things must happen according to His knowledge. Then how can there be change and how can we say that we have freedom? Actually, Muslim scholars have pointed out that knowledge (`Ilm) is an illuminative, but not necessarily always an effective, attribute. Allah the Almighty does know everything, but in whatever areas He has given us freedom to act, we do act freely. We are responsible for the things in which we have freedom. He will judge us according to the freedom that He has given us.

The great scholar of Islam, Ibn Taymiyah, may Allah bless his soul, states: "Allah Almighty has created His creation with some causes. He has commanded His servants to follow those causes in order to receive His forgiveness, His mercy and His reward in this life and in the Hereafter. Whoever thinks that he or she can achieve anything simply by trust and by neglecting the causes that Allah Almighty has commanded him or her to follow; or whoever thinks that objects do not depend on the causes, is really mistaken." (Al-Fatawa, 8/530)" [Excerpted, with slight modifications, from: http://pakistanlink.com/religion/97/re07-18-97.html]

Also read:

Belief in Qadar and Committing Sins

Allah Almighty knows best.

on December 19, 2004 3:02 AM
Rami said

Asalaam Aleikum Warahamatullah Wabarakatu,


“A man like you, Usman, is not easily turned away, but I don’t think you want the life I want to live. If I am mistaken, and you do, then please forgive me and tell me that we share the same vision of complete submission."

and how about:

"Eman Brought her Guidance"

Waslaam Warahmatullah Wabaraktu


Waslaam Warahmatullah Wabarakatu

on December 19, 2004 3:15 AM
Justoju said

You got it.

"A man like you, Abu Talhah ," she said, "is not (easily) turned away. But I shall never marry you while you are a kafir, an unbeliever."

http://web.umr.edu/~msaumr/reference/companions/English/rumaysa.html

on December 19, 2004 3:20 AM
ibtisam said

I dont think Huda is completely guided, I will post my sensational reply later in shaa Allaah
just wait. And Justoju, please tell me you know who I am now. there is no way you could have written that line about Sara in my story.
Oops, bummer, my identity is discovered.

on December 20, 2004 12:42 AM
Justoju said

From Brother Mostafa Khalifa. Please keep him and his family (living and deceased) in your duaas inshaAllah.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Asalaamu `alaikum,

I pray this message reaches you all in the best of health and the
highest of eman. Please make duaa' for my family, as we're being tested
with recent deaths to relatives. Qadar Allahu ma shaa'a fa`al. Details
on the `Azaa' (condolences) arrangements are at the bottom of the e-mail.
Jazaakum Allahu khayr to everyone for your duaa'. Ameen.

*Deaths*
========

* The maternal grandmother of my cousins, Tamer and Ahmed Naga, passed
away in Egypt this week.

* My paternal grandmother (as well as that of Mohab ,
Melody and Malik Khalifa )
passed away in Egypt late last night.

May Allah forgive all their sins, spare them from the punishment
of the grave and the punishment of Hellfire. May Allah grant them
entrance into Paradise by His Infinite Mercy. And may Allah bless our
families with the patience and strength we need to endure through this
difficult time. Ameen, walhamdu lillahi rabill `alameen.

"Allatheena ithaa asaabat-hum museebatun qaaloo 'Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji`un'." ([And to those] when afflicted with misfortune say,
"To Allah we belong, and to Him is our return" [Surat Al-Baqarah 156].


==============================================================================
"Any GOOD Muslim desires a Khalifa .... Every GOOD Muslim should make
duaa' to Allah -- "Oh Allah, we desire a Khalifa!" -- Imam Siraj Wahhaj
==============================================================================

* On Death
http://www.islaam.com/Article.aspx?id=330

* The Rich Meanings of Tawbah and Istighfaar
http://www.islaam.com/Article.aspx?id=635

* Repentance - A Poem by Imam Ash-Shaafi`ee (English translation)
http://www.islaam.com/Article.aspx?id=197

on December 20, 2004 1:29 AM
Amani said

Hee, I like Huda! :)

You know, I think a lot of people look back at the people they were (in high school especially) and hate them and want very badly to kill that person and wish even the memories of who they were could be killed along with them. And for Usman to bring up her past like that in an effort to "blow her disguise" or make her out to be "just like him" is really low.

But, I'm glad she told him how it is. :)

on December 20, 2004 12:45 PM
Justoju said

Actually I dont think he was trying to 'blow her disguise'...I think he was sincere and really didnt understand that some changes in a person go beyond the physical changes that can be seen. He didnt understand to what extent a psychological/spiritual transformation had occurred and how it had made her, for all intents and purposes, a different individual. I kind of feel sadness in my heart for Usman. He was being honest and exposing a vulnerable side...but he just wasnt in a position to understand what she needed him to understand about her...no amount of words would/could have accomplished that kind of understanding.

"The things that really define a person are hidden from those that are not defined by those same things."

on December 20, 2004 1:16 PM
Justoju said

Should this week's installment be a continuation of the Huda series, or should I write that article on beauty/insecurity that I am itching to write? Which one would you all rather read?

And the Huda piece is already written. I cant go back into it and make it more beauty/insecurity themed.

on December 21, 2004 10:01 PM
Justoju said

cmon, guys, I need to know by tommorrow afternoon...my brain is too fried from cramming to be able to make any decisions. Just please tell me what to do.

on December 22, 2004 12:06 PM
asif said

Salaam:

Justoju I would rather read Huda's episodes as it may be coming to an end. I myself prefer a closure on one series before jumping on another one. And you have already finished writing the next installment of Huda's series anyways. So go ahead and post it, if you ask me.

You can start the next series about beauty and insecurity perhaps this weekend or so.


jazakAllah khair in advance for your contributions, whichever it may be.

on December 22, 2004 12:26 PM
ibtisam said

I am officially messed up, like officially because I think I failed my exam today, no literally failed, I did not do one whole question(3 points) and I did not look over the rest of the exam a second time and second check. And I really should be studying. So, if I disappear from the map, it is because I am gonna try not to come here anymore, I hope you understand and I really dont want to mess up myself anymore. My parents pay their halaal money on extra ordinary amount of tuition just so I dont take loans on interest. The least I can do is well in school and if not then pass. I am so incredibly sad now, taht I cannot even cry. I have this strange energy in me that is making me do my regular chores and tasks as if nothing happen. Yeah there is remedial for this exam, but oh the humiliation, the dissapointment from my abuyah and ummi, I cant even look up, for shame. May Allaah forgive this sinner and weak person, me.

on December 22, 2004 12:52 PM
ibitsam said

This also means, I am probably not gonna write a rebuttal or analysis of Huda's behavior.
She can screw herself over for all I care. She is retarded, I dont have time to teach her reality.

on December 22, 2004 12:53 PM
Justoju said

I am sorry you are feeling sad about your exam. InshaAllah I will pray that it works out for the best inshaAllah and that you and your family do not suffer any pain or disappointment because of it. InshaAllah, Allah will give you all sabr and make this all for the best, and you will look back at it later and wonder why you were ever upset, inshaAllah.
InshaAllah, you know your situation best and you need to take care of your responsibilities as you see fit. Grad school cant be easy. We will miss you and you are always welcome to write on Hidaya whenever you find time. It doesnt have to be a goodbye forever:)

You have my email. If you ever need to talk to someone (and wouldnt mind tolerating my nonsensical blabbering) then I can always make time inshaAllah. You can balance me :)

I hope you feel better.

WasalaamuAlaikum

on December 22, 2004 1:05 PM
asif said

Assalaamu Alaikum Ibtisaam:

Khair Insha'Allah!

Yes you are correct that all of us need to prioritize what is expected of us and what we need to deliver. That would mean for most of the folks on hidayaonline is to do their best in finals. Everything else comes second.

And for your remedial exam Ibtisaam, its not that bad. So long as you can make up the deficiency next time around.
I am a strong believer that its never too late to improve unless you are Dead!...so as long as you are alive and kicking, get in the zone and turn your efforts up a notch. Insha'Allah you will overcome this challenge...Because You CAN!

Allah Ma'ak!
masalaama

on December 22, 2004 1:07 PM
Justoju said

I know you dont want to talk, but the offer still stands.

on December 22, 2004 11:10 PM
Justoju said

"DISCOVERING THE SELF"

a day with
Shaykh Abdullah Adhami

@ The Foundation for Islamic Education

Saturday, December 25th, 2004


Gender Relations Workshop
12:00 PM - 3:00 PM

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5:00 PM - 7:00 PM


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(Please bring your friends and family, jazak Allah khair, we pray to see you there, inshaAllah)


on December 23, 2004 3:07 AM
Saleha said

mashallah i LOVE it!!! i want to striive to be like Huda!

but i cant find part 4 :(
has it been uploaded?

on May 25, 2009 12:48 PM
nos nos said

WHERE IS PART 4?!!!!!!!!!

on May 27, 2009 6:23 PM
nos nos said

WHERE IS PART 4?!!!!!!!!!

on May 27, 2009 6:23 PM
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