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April 14, 2005
Tawakkul and Tea - Part III

by Justoju


This piece is not an autobiographical story about ME or my experiences. I am not Huda. Huda's personality and strengths are not mine. Huda is a fictitious character, much too perfect to be real, and if her account seems credible it is because that is how many 'religiously motivated' girls feel when they are in the situation described in the story. Whatever the reader's personal feelings towards Huda (regarding her expectations, reactions, etc) please note that they should not be extended to this novice writer who is, ultimately, simply experimenting with fiction.


(Author's Note: Earlier installments can be found by clicking on the 'Qalam's Crossing' column link on the left side of the HidayaOnline homepage.


…ok so Muhammad, may Allah bless him and give him peace, is the most beloved to Allah, Glorious and Exalted, of all creations. What does this mean Huda? This means that of all the things that have been created—colors, sounds, concept of time, dimensional space, scents, ideas—the Messenger is the most dear to Him. Perhaps…perhaps this is why he was allowed to escape some of the fundamental physical creation restraints when he went on the Mi’raj…The Divine Presence is free of creations and the purer one’s Divine experience becomes, the less one is hindered by creation-concepts. They are the shoes that Moses, upon him be peace, was commanded to take off. They are the levels of creation that one must leave behind in one’s non-directional ascent to Him…And yet, one can only experience a certain level of purity of Divine Presence…because, even IF one is allowed to cast off creations and creation-concepts when attending the Master s court, in the end, one’s own existence is a creation…and so the experience isn’t pure…one’s own existence renders the soul’s desire for purity in one’s experience of the Divine Presence to be impossible. You want to understand tawheed? You want there to be only One? Then learn how to cut yourself out of the picture. Learn how to surrender the constant focus you have upon your ‘self’. Learn what it is to turn one’s focus and consciousness onto the Lord. You want taqwa? Consciousness of Him does not exist in the same time as consciousness of self. At any given moment, you are either focused on Him, on yourself, or on the duniya. Live within the duniya, work within the duniya, love and struggle and sweat and bleed within the duniya—but keep your focus on Him. Keep the Remembrance ever-present in your heart. The Prophet, may Allah bless him and give him peace, is the MOST Beloved to Him of all creations…and yet he fulfilled all of his familial, societal, physical, and spiritual obligations. What a phenomenal creation our liege-lord must be. It is he who attained to the highest degree of divine love…and yet…and yet there was no one more avid to worship than he. There was no one who begged for forgiveness and cried out of thankfulness more than he. There was no one who completely humbled himself before his Lord more than He..”Shall I not be a thankful slave?”…mashaAllah, amazing…

“Huda beta, at this rate the stores will be closed by the time we get there. Hurry up; we still need to find matching shoes and a purse for your wedding lehenga. We also need to get that robe that we were looking at for Muhsin.”

Huda’s thoughts were interrupted by her mother’s cautionary tone. Just when she was getting into it. She blinked remembering that she only had three weeks left until the big day. Three weeks. There was much to be done…For some reason it didn’t feel worth her time…but khair, it was important to her mother so she didn’t put up a fight. Battles must be chosen wisely.

“Ok Amma, lets go. I am ready, lemme just slip on my shoes ok.”

“Theek hai. By the way, do you know when Muhsin and his parents plan on coming back from visiting their family in Pakistan? I want to ask how the preparations are going on their end. Plus, while they are there, they might as well pick a few things up for us…everything is less expensive there…these wedding bills are driving your Abba crazy…he is starting to wish you had ran away and eloped.”

“Eloped huh? Would I still get wedding gifts?…and no Amma, I don’t know,” Huda said while fumbling with her shoes. “I haven’t heard from Muhsin since he left…cmon, they are in the pind, how much communication can we expect from those poor souls. They’ll be lucky if they find standard-issue toilets…forget about decent phone lines.”

Her mother chuckled and grabbed her purse. There was no time to waste.

On their way out Amma threw the customary glance into the mailbox. A few letters stared back at her.

She picked them up and quickly surveyed their faces. “Bill…Bill…oh wait, no it isn’t, that’s just a bank statement…and…a letter for you.”

Huda took the letter. It was from Pakistan. Her heart fluttered. From the address Muhsin was staying at. More flutters. Muhsin had actually written her a letter! NO ONE wrote letters anymore and this was the man who barely wrote emails. He had actually sat down with pen and paper, written her a letter, bought some stamps and an envelope, and posted it across an ocean for her. She was terribly flattered by the gesture.

“Its from Muhsin”

“Ohh” her mother exclaimed with smiles as they got in their car. “A letter to his fiancé. He has gotten very traditional in Pakistan. What a pyaara bacha.”

Huda beamed. He WAS a ‘pyaara bacha’. She felt very lucky to have him. She felt she had never deserved someone this sweet. Someone who she felt this connected to. Someone who inspired her to become better for the sake of Allah. She quickly added ‘alhamdulillah’ to her thoughts. It was all His rahmah. SubhanAllah wAlhamdulillah.

“Well, aren’t you going to open it?”

Huda carefully opened the sealed envelope. She felt so blessed, so lucky at that moment. The entire world was bathed and shimmering in light and warmth. Everything in it felt and looked perfect. She felt so fortunate to have been given Muhsin, so incredibly, absolutely blessed. She could not have imagined a better life, a better ending for her story.


To be continued...

of and relating to...
Justoju said

Ziyad ibn 'Ilaqa reported that the heard al-Mughira ibn Sha'ba say, "The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, used to pray until his feet swelled up or bloated. He was asked about it and said, 'Shall I not be a thankful slave?'"

(#6106 of Chapter 84. Book of Riqaq. Sahih of al-Bukhari)

on April 14, 2005 9:59 AM
asif said


A Pen and the resulting Manuscript...isn't that so divine...Allah has mentioned the Qalam and the Kitaab in Quraan so many times...I wish we muslims (especially in the west, keep up with our penmanship, Insha'Allah).

on April 14, 2005 10:25 AM
asif said


I have a comment here that I hope wont offend anyone, Insha'Allah:

RasulAllah (sal-lal-la-hu-wa-sal-lam) was/is the pinnacle of all creations of ALLAH in this universe...He is the Syedul-waladul-Adam.

Allah, however, chose specific individuals and folks, (in the history of time & space), who honored & loved the prophet more than anyone ever did or ever will!

The fact of the matter is this, we can all compile literatures and write bizillions of words to honor the prophet and claim what-so-ever on his behalf, BUT, what simply boils down to is how we love him and honor him by follwing his teachings and examples in our own mundane life.

The companionship of RasulAllah (sal-lal-la-hu-wa-sal-lam) in Janantul-Firdaus is a reality for those who are his ummati (in intentions, words, and deeds), Insha'Allah.

on April 14, 2005 10:56 AM
Sister said

Muhsin is your fiance's name?

on April 14, 2005 11:37 PM
Justoju said

Umm no, my fiance's name is not Muhsin...I just love that name because of its meaning.

on April 15, 2005 2:38 AM
Talal said

Alhamdulillah, we're finally back for some Tawakkul and Chai.

First off, jazaakillah khair for using the word "pind". Non-urdu speakers, the word is pronounced not as "pined", but as "pinned", with a retroflex on the letter "d". I love this word, and another that has the same feeling when you say it.

Didn't figure Huda for a lehnga schnehnga type of gal...
That letter is either going to be mushy as heck, or there's a "dum dum dummmmmmmm" kinda surprise coming.

on April 15, 2005 3:05 AM
asif said

Assalaamu Alaikum All:

***** J U M M A H - M U B A R I K *****

Today is also Yaum-el-TAX...what do you call TAX in Arabic? Is it Jizya? So wouldn't that be like we are paying JIZYA to Uncle SAM for our well being and protection...Well when Uncle SAM become Sheikh SAM (Insha'Allah) would we still keep the Jizya? Something to ponder about, maybe.

As far as Huda is concerned...I dont want to spoil it for the audience, but Umm-Huda, will be crying a lot and wailing after Huda reads the mail from this chap Muhsin!

on April 15, 2005 10:29 AM
Muhsin said

calling off the engagement or wedding?
or confession of a secrete first wife somewhere?

just kidding.

on April 15, 2005 2:24 PM
Faisal Akhtar (feeling Giddy) said

I think I can predict what is in that letter. The whole qadr catching up to you theme is being reborn in this series I think. I can smell it a mile (or maybe I am way off here I don't know).

I think the letter will state why he can't marry her for one of the following possible reasons

1) He has just found out he has a terminal disease.
2) He has found a long lost love in the PIND and would like to marry her
3) He has just gotten fired from his job
4) He is really an alien from outer space who must return to his home planet
5) All of the above



These are just suggestions to make the series more interesting. I sincerely hope that letter is not MUSHY love letter because that would be way too predictable. Come on sister throw us a curve ball.

on April 15, 2005 3:31 PM
Rami said

Asalaam Aleikum Warahmatullah Wabarakatu,

"The entire world was bathed and shimmering in light and warmth. Everything in it felt and looked perfect."

I believe there is a chinese proverb that says(paraphrasing): 'Once you have reached the peak, the only direction to go is down"

There was also an incident (and if anyone can get the full hadith please do) when after the aya came down:

"This day I have perfected your deen for you, completed My Favor upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your Deen."

one of the sahaba (either Abu Bakr or Umar radia Allah Anhuma) began to cry or get sad because the only thing that can come after perfection is imperfection. But I would really apprectiate it if someone would put the exact quote.


'Tax' means "Dariba" acording to the Mawrid English-Arabic dictionary. I believe the plural is "Darayib".

What is the translation of "pind" and "pyaara bacha"


I agree with Br. Asif in that all the kinds of praises we give to our Messenger Muhammed (peace and blessings be upon him) are all but just words.

The best way to show one's love for Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) is to obey his commands and follow his teachings...and to obey Allah (subhanna wa taala's) commands.

One shoudl find it very hard to say they 'love Allah' or 'Love the Rasul' (peace and blessings be upon him) because none of us really follow Allah's commands like we should or follow the Sunnah of Rasulullah (peace and blessings be upon him) like we should.

May Allah make us of those who really love him and his messenger and follow his commands and the teachings of his Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him)


One should know best praises/blessing/etc. you can give to the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) are the Salwat. And the best of the Salawat is the one you recite in the second part of the Tashahud.

‘O Allah, send prayers upon Muhammad and the followers of Muhammad, just as You sent prayers upon Ibraheem and upon the followers of Ibraheem. Verily, You are full of praise and majesty. O Allaah, send blessings upon Muhammad and upon the family of Muhammad, just as You sent blessings upon Ibraheem and upon the family of Ibraheem. Verily, You are full of praise and majesty.’


Benefits of Reciting Salawat upon the Prophet

Undoubtedly Allah and His Angels send blessings on the Prophet. O' you who believe! Send upon Him Blessings and salute Him with all respect. (Al-Qur'an- 33:56)

(1) The one who recites Salawat (Durood) once Allah sends ten blessings upon him, eradicates ten of his sins and inproves ten of his grades. (Mishkat)

(2) On the Day of Judgement the nearest person to me, from amongst the people, would be the one who would have recited Salawat the most in this (mortal) world. (Tirmidhi)

(3) (Truly) a miserly person is he who (when) heard my name being mentioned did not recite Salawat in my favour. (Mishkat)

(4) You decorate your meetings by reciting salawat on me because your salawat would (turn out to) be the Divine Light for yourself on the "Day of Judgement." (Jamih us-Sahih)

(5) Recite salawat on Friday in abundance because it is the "Day of presence of angels (for witness)." On this day Angels present themselves (in my court). And undoubtedly when any one from amongst you recites salawat in my favour then before he has finished his recitation of salawat in my favour, his salawat reaches my court. (Jamih us-Sahih)

(6) In the magnificent night of Friday (i.e. the night between Thursday and Friday) and the luminous day of Friday recite salawat in my favour abundantly, because your recited salawat is presented to me (by the Angels). (Jamih us-Sahih)

(7) Recite salawat on the day of "Friday" and the "Friday Night" (The night between Thursday and Friday) excessively because who-so-ever does that, I shall stand witness to him and would be his advocate on the "Day of Judgement." (Jamih us-Sahih)


Given this hadith, are we allowed to say about the Messenger Muhammed (peace and blessings be upon him) all the things that people say? It may be something that he did not want.

Sahih Bukhari
Volume 4, Book 55, Number 626:

Narrated Abu Huraira:

Once while a Jew was selling something, he was offered a price that he was not pleased with. So, he said, "No, by Him Who gave Moses superiority over all human beings!" Hearing him, an Ansari man got up and slapped him on the face and said, "You say: By Him Who Gave Moses superiority over all human beings although the Prophet (Muhammad) is present amongst us!" The Jew went to the Prophet and said, "O Abu-l-Qasim! I am under the assurance and contract of security, so what right does so-and-so have to slap me?" The Prophet asked the other, "Why have you slapped". He told him the whole story. The Prophet became angry, till anger appeared on his face, and said, "Don't give superiority to any prophet amongst Allah's Prophets, for when the trumpet will be blown, everyone on the earth and in the heavens will become unconscious except those whom Allah will exempt. The trumpet will be blown for the second time and I will be the first to be resurrected to see Moses holding Allah's Throne. I will not know whether the unconsciousness which Moses received on the Day of Tur has been sufficient for him, or has he got up before me. And I do not say that there is anybody who is better than Yunus bin Matta."

(The prophet Yunus = Jonas)


The whole first paragraph relating to tawhid was very good and help to give a better insight an feel when reading the aya in Suart Al-Kahf Today:

46. Wealth and sons are allurements of the life of this world: But the things that endure, good deeds, are best in the sight of thy Lord, as rewards, and best as (the foundation for) hopes.

And it is also very true what you had said that the more attached you are to the dunya the less pure (i guess you would say) you ibaada becomes. A clear example of that is Salat. When your Salat us not completely concentrated on Allah and you mind goes astray with the all the things you of the world you come out of the Salat with less of a feeling of serenity that you would in let's say when you've just spend an hour or two alone in the masjid and your mind is completely clear and rather than thinking you are just feeling. At the end of the Salat you have a 'Sakina' or tranquility and a feeling of closeness to Allah and that you've made a decent abaada to Allah.

But when you are thinking in your salat and you come out of it feeling liek perhaps only half or a quarter of that Salat is actually counted with Allah (subhanna wa taala) then you have an exact opposite feeling of regret or emptiness because your fard has not been fully counted.

Wasalaam Aleikum Warahmatullah Wabarakatu

May Allah forgive me for my mistakes, which are all from my myself. And all knowledge is from Allah (subhanna wa taala).

on April 15, 2005 3:58 PM
asif said


Pind = village or home town.

Pindi = a specific village (usually named after the name of a place...like Rawal Pindi...the town where I was born)

Paindoo = means a village person...or a lay man...or an idiot!

Pyara or Pyare (plural) = dear or lovely

Bacchaa or Bacche (plural) = kid or child

SO both the pind (and paindoo) and pyara bachaa is applicable to me...

And Muhsin, you should know what you wrote to Huda in the letter. Dont act naive!

and Faisal, I think you are a Paindoo just like me...we cant keep our mouth shut :-)

Anyways, I will be a paindoo for sure If I cant file my Dariba/Darayib today before all is said and done!


on April 15, 2005 6:42 PM
Justoju said

Muhsin was supposed to be an alien from outer space with a terminal sickness. You all can thank br. Faisal for ruining the ending for everyone...

...sheesh, all that hard work gone to waste...

on April 16, 2005 12:08 AM
Faisal Akhtar said


It funny Brother Asif calls me a paindoo since my wife to be definitely is a paindoo. She even has her own Pind in rural Punjab. I think it is called Bagra or something like that. I am paindoo by association.


I didn't mean any offense by my last post I was just kidding around people.


on April 16, 2005 9:49 AM
Saima said

anxiously awaiting part IV.


on April 16, 2005 2:48 PM
Justoju said

Dont worry br. Faisal, I was kidding about Muhsin being a terminally ill alien from outer-space. You didnt really ruin the ending for anyone. I hope you didnt have to deal with any hate-crimes inshaAllah.

on April 17, 2005 2:24 AM
Justoju said

I miss you Saima. If I disappear after marriage, will I see you on the other side?

on April 17, 2005 1:46 PM
Saima said

Insha'Allah :)

May Allah increase the love between you and your husband's hearts through the growth of your love for Allah, the Almighty.

on April 17, 2005 10:39 PM
asif said


This question is for sisters only:

Lets say if your fiance or husband was to come and say that he is planning to go for Alaska fishing (during the summer) for 2-3 months in the Bering sea.

Knowing what you know that it is one of the most dangerous jobs but it pays well, would you allow your "significant" other to go ahead with this opportunity?

I am really curious about this!

OK need inputs from sisters on this site, and if you dont reply then I will assume that you guys are OK in allowing your fiance/husband to be a fisherman for couple of months.


on April 18, 2005 3:18 PM
Justoju said

Only if I could be a fisherman too.

on April 19, 2005 7:51 AM
asif said


Yes, I believe most of the sisters wont appreciate this if the husband/fiancee comes and asks such rediculous permission out of the blue, except if the sister themselves are somehow involved in taking part in this escapade.

So, then what about working as a fireman, a cop or any other job which has higher risks of getting hurt, maimed, disabled and even killed? Would the sisters of today allow (if not their husbands) but sons to be in the military force of USA, or a law enforcement agency, like FBI, CIA and NSA?

Basically, I am asking if we the 2nd/3rd generation of muslims in USA will support our sons and daughters if they are to serve in such establishments? Or would we just want our next generations to continue being the doctors, engineers, lawyers of this country?

Something to think about!


on April 19, 2005 9:53 AM
Saima said

its a matter of putting your trust in Allah, the Almighty.

on April 19, 2005 3:35 PM
Faisal Akhtar said


The feminists of this world are going to kill me after this comment.

Is the opposite gender soft? (GASP!!!)

Frankly, I want my wife to be kind, caring and patient. In one word I want her to be SOFT. (I really don't want another man in my house, I think I am enough). If that means she has a lower threshold of risk taking (Police work, fire fighting etc), then so be it. However, if anyone is thinking along the lines of softness indicates weakness then that is not so since I also find the opposite gender to be far stronger in another way.

Not to say anything bad about my father but I have observed that my mother is much more calm and collected in moments of anger than my father. If anger management is any indication of strength, then perhaps women are stronger than men. According to one hadith

Volume 8, Book 73, Number 135:
Narrated Abu Huraira:

Allah's Apostle said, "The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger." (Bukhari)

Maybe I am generalizing but I also see this same tendency in my aunts and uncles. I find that women control their anger better than men.

Ok, now back to the whole softness thing. Is the opposite gender softer? Maybe, maybe not because in Islamic history, there have been many women who engaged in active Jihad, many tended to the wounded (Guys, try keeping your food inside when you see a real oozing flesh wound, it takes a strong stomach), many protected the home front and many times (such was the example of Asma Bint Abi Bakr) it was the women who encouraged the men to fight and die for the right cause.

The question is unanswered in my mind. Are women soft? I don't know but I really do want a “soft” wife. Not the weak kind of soft but the strong kind of soft.


Maybe I am not making any sense.

Sisters, if I came off as misogynistic in this post then I apologize, that was not my intention. Feel free to disagree with any of the points I have raised.


on April 19, 2005 6:30 PM
Justoju said

I agree that women should be 'soft'...but I still want to fish. I think I can be a soft and caring, gentle girly doe-eyed wife, and still catch a lot of fish.

Maybe I just really want a fish sandwich right now.

on April 19, 2005 9:53 PM
Saima said

I believe the softness that you are talking about has a quality that helps women raise children. It's the compassion of a mother that can endure anything for her child. The softness has many degrees or shades that is reflected for her husband, her parents, and her children and to society in general. You can also put the softness as the softness of heart (which doens't necessarily mean weakness of heart).

sr. justoju... i've been hooked on tuna for the past few weeks. i try to keep it moderate (since it has mercury) but... it's hard.. :)

on April 19, 2005 10:37 PM
asif said

If I am not married by this summer, then I am off to Alaska!

on April 20, 2005 2:10 AM
Faisal Akhtar said

Everyone make dua with me please.

O Allah! May the Hands of the code writers of comments bots that fill our site with spam perish.


Lets see how much effect the dua of the oppressed can have.

on April 20, 2005 12:55 PM
Justoju said

Perish the hands of the father of spam.

(whoa...am I even ALLOWED to say something like that? Someone lemme know...maybe its better to say "May the spammer become a muslim and give up his spamming ways. Amin"?)

on April 21, 2005 5:05 AM
Ibtisam said

Oh God.

on April 21, 2005 7:22 PM
New said


I always come on Hidaya to read some posts, especially Sr. Justoju's series!

This is my first time posting. I was just wondering when the next part will be written.. and hoping it will be soon, because I can't wait to ready what is written!

I recently got engaged so I know just how Huda feels!

on April 21, 2005 10:15 PM
Ibtisam said

I must be mentally abnormal or something but I honestly never felt that way(all cheery and happy, yah I am engaged and I am getting married, and I am so lucky to be with the coolest guy, la la la, yatta yatta), I am beginning to believe there is something internally wrong with me or in-uteru my brain did not develop in the right emotional stance, I use to be good at reading and writing and taking exams and now my cognitive function is declining rapidly. Like, my brain is haywired (in the wrong direction) or I got some disease like familial parkinsons or extra-triple repeat juvenile Huntingtons, offcourse as usual me familia does not believe anything I say, they are totally in denial and all they do is pray pray pray that God Almight saves my soul in the hereafter and here as well.
I dunno, but I am happy for the good souls(the girls especially) that are happy at their engagement or whatever, Allah bless you guys for it and make me learn to be thanful and stuff.


on April 21, 2005 11:34 PM
AnonyMouse said

As-salaamu 'alaikum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatu,

I'm a long time reader of HidayaOnline... but first time commentator... just wanted to say: masha'Allah, I LOVE this story! :) Pleeeeaaaase update... and soon!


on May 7, 2007 12:44 AM
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