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May 6, 2005
Tawakkul & Tea - Part V

by Justoju

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Disclaimer:

This piece is not an autobiographical story about ME or my experiences. I am not Huda. Huda's personality and strengths are not mine. Huda is a fictitious character, much too perfect to be real, and if her account seems credible it is because that is how many 'religiously motivated' girls feel when they are in the situation described in the story. Whatever the reader's personal feelings towards Huda (regarding her expectations, reactions, etc) please note that they should not be extended to this novice writer who is, ultimately, simply experimenting with fiction.

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(Author's Note: Earlier installments can be found by clicking on the 'Qalam's Crossing' column link on the left side of the HidayaOnline homepage.

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“Actually, the reason I want to have the nikkah in the masjid is because it is sunnah. There is a hadith recorded by Imam Tirmidhi about having it there. Plus, can you think of a place that has more barakah than a masjid?”

“Yes, but beta the reception will seem so pointless without the nikkah. That’s the main event of the function! That’s what people come to see. If you take that out of the evening, all that’s left is the dinner!”

“Sounds good to me Amma….you know what, to fill up the time we should have two dinners. I don’t think anyone will mind.”

“Your Abba will. He will have to pay for double the food then. By the way, do you know someone named Junaid?”

“Vital Signs? Presently bearded and Tablighi?”

“No…well yes, he is bearded….but no to the first part. You don’t know him? He is Iqbal sahaab’s son. His parents called asking about you. I told them that you were already engaged but they had the nerve to ask to see us anyway. His mother said that as long as you weren’t married we shouldn’t consider ourselves bound to anyone!”

“Wow, they were that insistent? Now I really want to know who this ‘Junaid’ is…I feel bad…you think we could hook him up with one of my friends? I am sure auntie would appreciate it if we suggested a few girls”

“I think its better for us not to get involved. They really wanted you…by the way, we spoke with Muhsin’s parents early this morning. They wanted to speak to you but you were sleeping…as usual…”

“How are they? Is everything ok?”

“They seemed worried. Muhsin’s uncle isn’t doing too well. They were talking about extending their stay in Pakistan. I think they will be cutting it kind of close to the wedding, but when family is in need one must respond. InshaAllah I hope Allah gives his uncle shifa.”

“InshaAllah and Amin. he seems like a really amazing person from Muhsin's account of him in his letter. Muhsin is very attached to him. Its good that he spend as much time with him now as is possible because I dont know when we will be able to go to Pakistan after marriage. ”


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To be Continued...


of and relating to...
asif said

Salaam:

Sister Justoju, Masha'Allah you have an imagination...of keeping the escapades of Huda rolling & rolling.

Anyways, my understanding was that once a family or man has approached a lady and they have engaged or committed to marriage, all other potential men and their families should wait till the marriage goes through or not...so there is no jumping the queue, so to say.


on May 6, 2005 2:31 PM
Faisal Akhtar said


Muslim-Book 8, Number 3294:

Narrated Uqbah ibn Amir:

Allah's Messenger (peace_be_upon_him) said: A believer is the brother of a believer, so it is not lawful for a believer to outbid his brother, and he should not propose an engagement when his brother has thus proposed until he gives up.


The practice of proposing over other people is quite common in the Pakistani culture. Sometimes the engagement is not made public and even at times when it is, some people propose over other people when the engagement has already gone through. Many times, the earlier suitor is rejected because the new one (who proposed after the engagement) is seen as more suitable. This creates lots of animosity and hatred. Also, many guys fall into deep depression because they feel used and then pushed aside since they start thinking they are not good enough and that other person is better.

I haven’t seen it happen but I am sure this can happen to women too. People need to realize what an engagement is. It is a promise to marry and a Muslim does not break promises. Broken engagements cause misery galore. Proposing over an engagement is actually an invitation to break the previous promise. Failure to follow the above hadith can only result in fitnah

This message is for the guys. BE A MAN and propose when she is not engaged to someone else. If she is, then hold your peace until your brother has either been rejected by the family or he himself decides not to pursue that option. Otherwise, your proposal over your brother will create a lot of fitnah. Propose early guys, it is better to have certainty than to live a lifetime of thinking what could have been.

PS. I cannot believe Huda is actually considering referring Junaid to one of her friends. People who propose over others are NOT trustworthy in my book. This guy Junaid is the very definition of LOSER.

on May 6, 2005 2:58 PM
Justoju said

It is, unfortunately, a sad reality that many men continue to pursue women who are already spoken for; and you brothers are both correct about how it is not allowed for one to propose to an engaged woman.

And go easy on Junaid....HE didnt know she was engaged when he sent his mom...his mother is the one who mishandled the situation.

on May 6, 2005 3:42 PM
Justoju said

Am I becoming cockeyed or are the posts now in italics? I liked them better the way they were before.

on May 6, 2005 3:44 PM
Faisal Akhtar said

"Am I becoming cockeyed or are the posts now in italics? I liked them better the way they were before."

Touché. This new format of bold italics is really tough on the eyes.

on May 6, 2005 4:25 PM
Talal said

Italics problem fixed.

on May 6, 2005 4:28 PM
Ibtisam said

According to Shiekh Salman Al-Odeh's website, having aqd an-nikaah in a masjid is not from the sunnah per se(okay so it is one hadith, but salafees dont see it from the sunnah). I actually found this out after my marriage, cause my friends kept asking me if I had my wedding ceremony in a masjid or in a hall. My mom said we should do what is the accustom, so dont feel bad if you cannot have an aqd-un-nikaah in a masjid, because it will not deter anything from the sunnah or from the sawaab. The only thing is that a marriage should be loudly proclaimed and announced and that is what is meant "in the masjid' because that is in front of the people and it is a central meeting place. But it can just as well be in a community center.

I like twists in stories,
glad to have you writing the series back!

on May 6, 2005 9:04 PM
Donald Duck said

Assalamualaikum Wa Rahmatullah,
MashAllah nice article.
I know I dont watch PTV, because I get my weekly dose of entertainment from IS RU. Thats right, some people just can't stand that el Amir. El Amir's faults apparently lie in the fact that he wants to follow the Sunnah. His other fault seems to be his love for the righteous Companions of the Prophet . May Allah Talah Make the path easy for those who seek to please Him and seek His Guidance. People have to understand that there is plenty of wisdom in the Prophet's ( SW) ways.
Jazak Allah Khair

on May 7, 2005 4:36 AM
amatullah said

are u El-Amir in disguise?

on May 7, 2005 8:00 AM
Faisal Akhtar said

About PTV and GEO.

I was having a discussion with Hassan about what is the difference between showing some part of the body by a woman and complete nudity. We reached the conclusion that technically there is no difference. What is beyond the hands and face needs to be covered and showing beyond that (alot or little) is haram.

PTV, GEO and things like have good programing but the problem is of nudity. Not full nudity but the islamic definition of nudity which is showing beyond the hands and face of women. The dramas they show may not have complete nudity but women wearing half-sleeve figure hugging clothes still qualifies as showing the awra of women. What does it really matter if this is on a Muslim channel? It is still Haram and perhaps the young people are justified in not watching this stuff.

PS. Looking forward to your film script sister, keep us posted and if youre looking for sappy emotional poetry, you don't need PTV. Look no further than some classic ghazal books in urdu, I am sure sister Justoju can refer you to some, I personally got tired of poetry long time ago.

on May 7, 2005 11:34 AM
Justoju said

I dont watch dramas and the only ghazals I know are the ones I remember from years ago...and they are written on love for the Divine or love for the Messenger (may Allah bless him and give him peace) so unfortunately I dont know if I can be of much help. Try google?

And br. Faisal is 100% on target when it comes to a women's awra being nudity regardless of how much or little is shown. If a woman wears a full-sleeved shalwar kamiz that gives an indication to her shape (you can get a decent estimation of where the curves are) , it is STILL considered nudity.

And I dont know about unaffiliated scholars, but the 4 schools of thought hold that doing the nikkah in the masjid is from the sunnah.

on May 7, 2005 6:25 PM
Justoju said

AssalamuAlaikum dear sister Ibtisam,

Please do not be offended by the following. No one is attacking the ‘salafist’ movement or its adherents so chillax.

It was funny, I didnt even need to look further than your own article to prove my points. Kindly refer to the following parts:

"Without doubt, Allah has made certain locations more blessed than others, and mosques are among these locations. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “The most beloved places in the land to Allah are its mosques.” [ Sahîh Muslim (671)]"

&

"The Prophet (peace be upon him) said about Mecca : “Indeed, it is the best of Allah's Earth and the most beloved of Allah's Earth to Allah.” [ Musnad Ahmad (4/305) and Mustadrak al-Hâkim (3/7) with an authentic line of transmission]"

&

"Secondly, when we turn our attention to the opinions of the jurists, we find the jurists of all four schools of thought to be agreed that it is Sunnah to hold the marriage in the mosque."

&

"Ibn Taymiyah says: “It is preferable to contract the marriage in the mosque.” [ Majmû` al-Fatâwâ (32/18)]

Ibn Qâsim writes: “It is Sunnah to hold it in the mosque. This is what Ibn al-Qayyim said, and he is a trustworthy, erudite scholar who does not declare something to be Sunnah except when there is a legitimate basis for doing so.” [ Hâshiyah al-Rawd al-Murbi` (6/243)]"

&

"At the same time, we do not censure those who regard it as being something Islamically preferred, in consideration of the fact that this is the opinion of many of the greatest scholars. "

What do you think you are doing by declaring decisively in a public forum that having a nikkah in a masjid is not sunnah? If that isnt censuring of a laaarrge amount of scholars who regard masjid nikkahs to be something preferred then I dont know what is. No one said that a person ceases to be muslim or is sinful by marrying outside of a masjid so there is no need to be defensive about it. Your own intention was to marry in a place of worship and inshaAllah, because you are judged by your intentions, you will get the reward for that. But when you start saying that there is no difference in benefit between having a nikkah in a masjid and a non-masjid, people wont even ASPIRE or INTEND to have it in a masjid (which has been ESTABLISHED by scholars to be a place of increased barakah).

By the way, all I said was:
"And I dont know about unaffiliated scholars, but the 4 schools of thought hold that doing the nikkah in the masjid is from the sunnah."

The article you posted agrees with that statement in explicit terms so I have no idea why you jumped on the issue and decided to make this a big 'salafi-traditionalist' thing. Also, according to your article Shaykh Ibn Taymiyah (RA) agrees that “It is preferable to contract the marriage in the mosque” and I don’t think any salafi should have a problem with his authority. Salafi-Traditionalist debates are old, counter-productive, and frankly, I am not in the mood so sister please calm down and think of where defensive and instigatory ‘salafi’ pride will get you in terms of dawah and nasihah. Pride in labels is exactly the problem we should be attempting to rectify! And in case you haven’t noticed, EVERY group believes that they are on the minhaj of the salaf so calling oneself a ‘salafi’ and being proud of it does not necessarily mean much. Just cuz a person calls himself a ‘salafi’ does not mean they are any closer to being like the salaf, and just cuz a person calls himself a ‘traditionalist’ does not mean they are any closer to following the tradition of the Prophet (may Allah bless him and give him peace). The last thing you would want is for people to start thinking that ‘salafis’ walk around with smug pride, content in their assumed status as a ‘saved’ group, holding other Muslims in ridicule and contempt….since this is actually (ironically) the exact opposite of the attitude that the humble ‘historical’ salaf held, and does not do justice to the work of many great ‘salafi’ scholars that have passed before us. Pride does not do any Islamic group or reform movement much good…

I apologize if I have offended you in any of this. This advice wasnt just for you, but for myself first and foremost, and for anyone who is content in their label. I am screwed up and barely deserving to be called muslim so I could be wrong about a lot of things. If something doesnt apply to you, ignore it and please forgive me. My intention was not to hurt or to offend.

JazakumAllahu khair for reading with such patience. Life is a trial...We Hidayans need to keep each other in our duas inshaAllah :)

WasalaamuAlaikum

Some other related links that you might want to check out:

- “Isn't acting on weak hadiths an innovation?”
Answered by Shaykh Amjad Rasheed (A shafii shaykh)

- “What is the Sunnah?”
Answered by Shaykh Hajj Gibril Haddad

- And finally, one of Hidaya’s own…Br. Humayun (I hope he doesn’t mind being quoted) very eloquently stated in http://www.hidayaonline.com/archives/000161.html:

“Many people think that by attaching yourselves to a label will save them on the Day of Judgement, if they think so, Produce your proof! As for the name Salafi, it may be technically correct to use, but its best is avoided because certain connoations have been attahched to that name and the fact of the matter is Allah (swt) has only gave us the best title of being called a Muslim.

Sister Ibtisam , trust me, calling yourself "Salafi" may seem right but even many of the big shuyukhs of Saudi dont attach this label to them. This label is being propogated by many young and unfortuantely immature callers who have very little knowledge of the Quraan and Sunnah. Please click on the link below as it will direct you to the transcript of a speech given by Sheikh Uthaymeen (rahimullah) who was considered one of the biggest "Salafi" scholars of our time.

http://www.islaam.com/Article.aspx?id=505

I hope I didnt cause any fitnah....
Walikomaslaam
on December 8, 2004 07:29 AM”

on May 8, 2005 4:02 AM
Donald Duck said

Asssalamualaikum Wa Rahmatullah,
No Ammatullah, I aint no El Amir, and I never intend to get into politics. Infact I am a big critic of El Amir's. However, I appreciate his love for the Sunnah,and his strong stance on upholding the Quran and Sunnah.

on May 8, 2005 3:10 PM
Ibtisam said

I was not being serious, please calm down sister, I did not mean to offend you or anyone else, if I was proud of being a Chicagoan or part of the Girls Scout of America, will I be offending people? if so, I apologize.


But, aaah, women are fitnah anyway ;)

on May 8, 2005 7:53 PM
california said

Asalamualaikum,
sis, ibtisam, its not about offending people per se (may have done that aswell), but its also that even an atoms wieght of pride is disliked...so yea pride for all of those other things you mentioned wouldn't be cool either...

on May 8, 2005 10:24 PM
Junaid Jamshaid on ARY said

Assalaamu alaikum,

I was watching a t.v interview called "mehmaan" by Samiuddeen with Junaid Jamshaid on ARY digital. He was giving a really good interview with numerous examples from sahaaba and stuff. Although, I think Samiuddeen mentioned he is married(sorry for Huda and her friends unless they are hip with the new fashion of polygamy) or something.


Also, I have watched enough Pakistani dramas to know that they do promote polygamy and getting it accepted in society(I hope sisters who have admitted of not watching dramas do not argue with me on this point, phew! because I have watched dramas and I would know about this and no I am not being arrogant, Ya Salaaaaam :) )
And I dont listen to ghazals, they are regular songs, I didnot even know what they were until I asked my friends, so thanks,
but I only listen to nasheeds.

on May 21, 2005 12:59 AM
Sr. Anon said

Salaam--Sr. Justojo, is Tawakkul and Tea V your latest installment? If not, where can I find the rest. If so....please write more! The suspense is intense :) Jazak Allah Khair

on June 20, 2005 9:38 PM
Gigi said

i guess the author is really emphasising the ayah innAllaha ma'as sabireen..

on November 28, 2005 9:55 PM
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