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June 8, 2005
A Surreal Life

by Bint Saeed

What an experience.

That’s what I choose to call it, an “experience” because, simply put, that’s what it is. Actually, currently the situation has become more complex. However the decision was quite simple: either move forward or stand still and I choose to move forward inshaa Allah. I guess the realization of the passage of time is marked by momentous events in our lives for example graduations, the first job, marriage, children, etc. Is this how we tend to keep track of time, by recalling events from the past when we sit and reminisce about our childhood, college life, adulthood etc? I feel I’m at that point right now, sitting back to reminisce with the realization that time is passing.

Graduation: had it
First job: done it
Marriage: been there
Children: not yet

I find myself retracing my steps and for once I can with absolute certainty say that Allah subhaanahu wa ta'ala is the BEST of planners and we are living solely at His Will. Not that this was something I did not believe but I guess it becomes more evident when we find ourselves starting over or backtracking. As I sit here to write this piece I recall graduation wearing black and red with the RU ’04 tassel swaying from side to side. I remember my first job where I worked as a full time associate answering phone calls for a renowned da'wah organization. I remember the early days of marriage where a year long nikah/kitaabah led to a much-anticipated reunion which eventually describes my current state of affairs: the tough decision of Islamic and legal separation. It was marriage that led me from The Garden State to The Volunteer State and now, after only six months of living together, I find myself back home with the letter “D” looming over my head. A few months or years from now will this be how I remember my past?

Graduation: had it
First Job: done it
Marriage: divorced
Children: Allahu Alam

The daily routine of the average ISRU/MCMC/ICNA-NJ/AlMaghrib/etc-goer is different from person to person. However, it is truly amazing to find oneself back to the same routine after such drastic life-altering changes have taken place. I saw my life as such: a straight path that branched off into parallel trails with every opportunity that came my way. But when it came to these momentous events, I found myself on a path that was moving me in a different direction and it was this direction that I described as the passage of time. Major events were taking place in my life which meant that time was passing and I was entering a new phase in life. But that lasted only six months or can one argue otherwise?

Because of the present situation or ordeal, whichever you choose to call it, that I am facing I continue to remind myself that THIS, too, is indeed quite an experience. Going back to the single status does not mean that my life is not moving forward nor does it mean that I should allow the taboo that surrounds divorced women to follow me like a dark cloud. The best way to describe all of the happenings in one’s life, both good and bad, is to simply call it a “learning” experience. I was advised and showered with words of support by family, friends and nosy acquaintances that I’m still young, focused and well-known in the community therefore a happy life for me would be destined. But who are they to say? Who am I to say?

Should I at this moment or any point in my life question the Qadr of Allah SWT? More importantly, should I be able to say that my life will be a certain specific way in the years to come? The answer of course is NO. With no intention on getting philosophical, but with every intention on reminding myself, first and foremost, as well as the reader, that human beings are disillusioned by the belief of a permanent dunya. This is how Allah SWT created us, with faults and weaknesses but more importantly with a conscious. A recurring weakness that many of us possess involves the way in which we plan our lives. Planning one’s life is not something to look down upon. However, the thought that our lives should play out according to our “plan” is where the disillusion lies. This is probably where my marriage fell short; a plan was drafted and events unfolded where our lifestyle was not going according to the game plan and the marriage was doomed to failure because it was "not suppose to be this way." I find myself smiling inside at the very thought that THIS was the reason presented to me for separation and, furthermore, what ignites a frustrated laugh is that a “timeline” was the suggested solution to the problem. It was here that I realized that I did not want be an active participant in a lifestyle that defined a successful marriage and life based on a list or plan of worldly gains. Could he not stop to think that it was too early to evaluate the marriage or that Allah SWT had something else planned for us?

The best piece of advice given to me, which is the underlying reason in wanting to write this column, is that Allah SWT sends people or has events take place in our lives for our benefit and in order to teach us some sort of lesson. It might not be something we realize at that specific moment but somewhere along the line as we move forward in our lives we will look back at these situations as experiences that have helped us in some way. Also, the ones who learn the lesson or see the fruits of being in that experience are the ones who have truly succeeded. SubhaanAllah, how true is that? Allah SWT is known to have created mankind in the best shape and form as well as had the rest of creation bow down to our kind; furthermore, through the beauty of His SWT characteristics we learn that He loves the believers. Then why is it that we question His decisions? What we must question is ourselves; along the path did we feel that WE are in charge of our lives? Have we allowed sorrow and grief to overtake our lives instead of giving thanks to Allah SWT for having saved us from something we could not have imagined?

I sit here now having learnt the hard way and wondering to myself that maybe, just maybe, by having had this incident in my life this was Allah SWT’s way of saving me by bringing me back home. I find myself with opportunities coming my way that I could never have imagined, all of which help in strengthening my deen. Does all this mean that I have stopped planning out my life? Not really, it just means that I do not get caught up with something that does not come to pass no matter how much I might have wanted it. If something does not go the way we "plan" then we must learn to say "Alhamdulillah, Qaddar Allahu wa Mashaa’a Fa’ala" (Praise be to Allah, Allah has decreed and what He wills He does). Yes, it hurts me that my marriage did not last but I guess what would hurt me more is if I allow this incident to get the better of me rather than thanking Allah SWT for not having made things worse and just picking up and moving on. Strength comes not only from knowledge but also from practice. I’ve learnt that a good Muslim does not make the best husband nor does knowledge mean perfection. Application of one’s knowledge in times of happiness, sorrow, stress and tests is what really counts. After all, actions speak louder than words but that does not mean we forget to start from our hearts.

So this detour in my life is not really a setback, rather, it is a blessing that Allah SWT has granted me with an opportunity to look within myself and reconnect to Him. We must always remind ourselves that time passes regardless of what takes place in our lives but the important thing is how we spend this time and what we learn from it. I hold no grudge in my heart against those individuals who have been part of my test from Allah SWT these past six months and I seek from Allah SWT guidance for myself and for them. I seek the forgiveness of Allah SWT and the opportunity to be continuously showered with His blessings.

I see therefore I speak, I learn therefore I teach and I pray that we all learn from what comes to pass in our lives.

of and relating to...
Faisal Akhtar said

Welcome to Hidaya Sister. May your stay here be a long and beneficial one for all of us.


on June 8, 2005 12:19 PM
Bint Saeed said

JazakAllahu Khayr and Ameen to your dua'

on June 8, 2005 12:35 PM
amatullah said

Bint Saeed
"The best piece of advice given to me, which is the underlying reason in wanting to write this column, is that Allah SWT sends people or has events take place in our lives for our benefit and in order to teach us some sort of lesson. It might not be something we realize at that specific moment but somewhere along the line as we move forward in our lives we will look back at these situations as experiences that have helped us in some way. Also the ones who learn the lesson or see the fruits of being in that experience they are the ones who have truly succeeded. SubhanAllah how true is that? "

Do you mean like the way you just taught me something in such beautiful words? :) Masha Allah
welcome to Hidaya! Looking foward 2 more of your insightful pieces and may Allah ta'ala grant you the best of both worlds!Ameem

on June 8, 2005 12:45 PM
Bint Abdul Khaliq said

As Salaamu Alaikum

Ahlan wa Sahlan! A hearty welcome to Hidaya sis!May Allah bless your Column.Ameen.

Masha Allah your article was quite inspiring.Sometimes we go through hard times in life and wonder " Allah,why is this happening to me?"

we expect everything to be perfect,when there is no such thing as a 'Perfect' Life.That will only exist in Jannah Insha Allah.

However,there is a Perfect way of DEALING with our Life and all it's trials,and that is undoubtedly the way of Islam.Such a beautiful answer to all our Problems Alhamdulillah!

May Allah guide us all onto the Straight Path.


Was Salaam

on June 8, 2005 3:03 PM
Nadia said

If I say something about the article, I feel like I won't be doing justice to it. All I can say is that Alhamdulillah, Maybe Allah (swt) brought you back to write for us, for writing for Hidaya so we can get inspired with your commendable insights and your learnings and seek Hidaya from it. May Allah (swt) reward you and keep you smiling always, Ameen.

on June 8, 2005 7:22 PM
Justoju said

MashaAllah great article. Its funny how as I was reading it I was constantly applying it to myself and my own current circumstances. I kept thinking about all the happiness that I feel is my marital due and about how thats how EVERYONE feels...until something happens...

...its a good nafs check...

Welcome to Hidaya :)

on June 8, 2005 11:35 PM
Ibtisam said

subhanallaah, I dont even have the right words to comment on your article. it really really touched my heart, kinda more like hit me in the face. I felt exactly that way for a while, how one plans(or doesn't) but things dont go that way. Some people get hidaya from it and some don't.

"Then why is it that we question His decisions? What we must question is ourselves; along the path did we feel that WE are in charge of our lives? Have we allowed sorrow and grief to overtake our lives instead of giving thanks that Allah SWT for having saved us from something we could not have imagined?"

Beautifully said. May Allaah make things easier for you and may Allaah shower His blessings and mercy for you and forgive you your sins due to the difficult circumstances you are in. Just remember, that Allaah gives more tests to those He loves and the more difficult the test the more Allaah loves you.

on June 9, 2005 12:00 AM
Bint Saeed said

JazakAllahu Khayr to you all, you have been truly kind.

I just want to mention one thing though and its in terms of perfection. Most of it is, not suprisingly, based on a comment made by Ummsoon-to-be-ex. We NEED to remember that perfection is a quality and/or characteristic that may ONLY be attributed to Allah SWT. We might FEEL we have handled a situation in the best of ways however the truth is that somewhere along the line we did or have fallen short. So lets not make the mistake of attributing perfection to the creation. And lets not do injustice to ourselves and our spouse by 'expecting' him or her to be perfect.

Oh and another thing that my dear Abu reminded me when I reluctantly decided to agree on ending the marriage was that it's ALL about intention. On my part I know that I did whatever was required to save the marraige out of fear that divorce is most hated by Allah SWT. But like I was reminded some things, no matter how much we want them to work, just dont come to pass and ALL of this is by the Will of Allah SWT. It's all about intentions, realizations, actions and acceptance of any given outcome.

Keep me in your dua'

Wasalaam Walaykum
PS: miss you tons Nadia:)

on June 9, 2005 12:03 AM
gillette said

are the brothers just as averse as i am to reading long articles?

in shaa allah, gillette shall return next week.

on June 9, 2005 10:08 AM
Talal said

MashaAllah, amazing piece of writing.

I have to agree with this being a wake-up call/nafs check... it hit hit home the message of Allah being the best of planners, at a time when so many plans are in the pipeline. SubhaanAllah walhamdulillah.

on June 9, 2005 9:59 PM
gillette said

Al-Qadaa wal-Qadr
(Divine Ordainment and Predetermination)

The Four Levels of the Belief in al-Qadr
Author: Dr. Saleh as-Saleh


When mentioned separately either one means the other, but when stated together differ in their meanings e.g.: when it is generalized Al Qadr encompasses Al- qadaa and vice versa. But when it is stated Al Qadr wa Al-qadaa then Al Qadr means the predestination of things and when the predestined matter occurs then it is Al-qadaa.


It is an obligation to have faith in Al Qadr. Evidence from the Qur'aan: 'Verily We have created all things with Al Qadr"(54:49) Evidence from the Sunnah: Hadith of Gabriel: When the angel asked what is eemaan, the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said 'Eemaan is to believe in Allah His angels, books, messengers, day of judgment and Al- qadar the good and bad' (Bukhari, Muslim) Hadith of Jabir: 'No slave of Allah will truly believe until he believes in Al Qadr its good and bad from Allah, until he knows that what has befallen him was not going to miss him and that what missed him was not going to befallen him.' (Tirmidhi)



Allah's knowledge encompasses everything. He knows what has occurred, what will occur and all that which has not occurred. He knew everything about His creation before He created it. He knows in His eternal knowledge about His creation ,their provisions, life spans, sayings, moves deeds, secrets all of their obedience and disobedient acts, who among them will be people of Jannah (Paradise) or who will be from the people of An Naar (fire): 'Verily Allah is the All Knower of everything." (8:75) "And that Allah surrounds (comprehends) all things in his Knowledge." (65:12) Ali narrated that "one day the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) was sitting with a wooden stick in his hand with which he was scratching the ground. He raised his head and said "there is none of you but has his place assigned either in the fire or in Paradise." They said, "O Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) Why should we carry on doing good deeds then, shall we depend (on Al-qadar) and give up work? The Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said "No, but carry on doing good deeds, for everyone will find easy (to do) such deeds as will lead him to that for which he has been created "then he recited this ayat: "As for him who gives (in charity) and keeps his duty to Allah and fears Him, and believes in Al Husna (Tawheed, path of righteousness) we will make smooth for him the path of ease, goodness..(92:5-10)" ( Muslim vol.4)

Allah knew that Iblees would disobey and that he would not prostrate to Aadam as Allah commanded him. The angels did not know anything about Iblees. Allah the Wise said to the angels: "I know that which you do not know" (2:30) Abdullah ibn Masoud said, "Allah knew what they the angels did not know about Iblees." Ibnul Qayyim mentions many aspects of the wisdom of the creation of Iblees:

1.The manifestation of Allah's ability to create contradicting comparables e created the most wicked and evil self of Iblees the source of every evil. In contrast He created the most purified and honorable self of the angels. His ability is also manifested in the creation of night and day, illness and cure, life and death, ugly and beautiful and many other contrasting forms of creation. (Side point) -HOW Allah creates the good and the bad. Allah says which means. "No evil befalls on the earth or in your own souls except it is in the writings before we bring it into existence."(57:22) "If some good comes to them they say this is from Allah and if some evil befalls them they say this is from you prophet, everything is from Allah." "the creator of everything. "(40: 62) From these verses above we see that Allah created everything, for if Allah did not create everything there would be another creator. We also know that the prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said 'All the goodness is in your hands and the evil is not attributed to you. "(Muslim) So how does Allah create the bad/evil?. Allah does not create evil in the absolute sense. Because in every evil there is good, it is only evil if we make it evil. E.g.: We have shirk and kufr, which is evil. -the goodness in that is that it clarifies eemaan. Because you cant see the difference between black and white until you see them both. Death- makes us think about the Hereafter, encourages us to do good deeds. Sickness is evil but if we remain patient it is something good because our sins are being wiped.

Abu Huraira related that the prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said, 'for any trouble, illness, worry, grief hurt, or sorrow which afflicts a Muslim, even the prick of a thorn, Allah removes in its stead some of his (minor) sins" (Bukhari, Muslim) When one of our beloved persons die, some people complain as to why he has died or they think its something evil. Whereas the prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said 'Allah the Glorious says, 'I have no reward better other than Paradise for a believing servant of mine who is patient and resigned, when I take away one of his beloved ones among the most cherished things of the world." (Bukhari) so if this person remains patient then its something good but if he is not patient then it becomes evil. Likewise Iblees is something evil but it is only evil if we follow him. If we disobey him and do not listen to him and refrain ourselves from the evil then it becomes something good because this is our way to paradise and we are rewarded by doing the good. So everything that Allah has created, has good in it and the evil comes if we use it as evil, so the evil comes from the creation as Allah says "I seek refuge in the Lord of the daybreak from the evil of what he has created "(113:1-2) So the evil comes from the creation. "Evil has appeared on land and sea because of what the hands of men have earned (by oppression evil deeds) that Allah may make them taste a part of that which they have done in order that they may return." (30:41) Evil is not an action of Allah otherwise a name would have been derived from it for Allah but there is not such a name. The goodness is attributed to Allah but the evil is not attributed to him because the evil ! comes from the creation depending upon how they use what Allah has created.

2. It manifests the names and actions of Allah such as severe in punishment, swift in reckoning, master of the day of judgment. Had everyone been like the angels, Allah's names would not be manifested. Allah is also just, fair, and does everything with wisdom so he would not punish without reason for Allah is far removed from any defects and joking. Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said "Verily Allah created mercy. The day he created he made it into one hundred parts. He withheld ninety nine parts and sent one part to all his creation. If the unbeliever knew all of the mercy which is in the hands of Allah he would not lose hope of entering paradise. If the believer knew of all the punishment which is present with Allah he would not consider himself safe from the hellfire" and in another narration "the remaining ninety nine parts of mercy which are with Allah is what he will use to judge mankind on the Day of Judgment." So think of all the mercy of Allah only one part is in the fraction from which a mother feels mercy to her child, so if a person goes to hell he must really deserve to go to hell. Likewise when we sin, if we did not turn in repentance to Allah how would his attributes of forgiveness be manifest. Allah's Knowledge and Wisdom Allah is All Knowing and All Wise about His choice and the consequences. E.g.: The hadeeth of istikhara, whereby the Muslim asks for Allah's guidance in a certain affair saying "O my Lord, I ask your guidance due to your knowledge and appeal to you to help me (give me power) due to your ability, and ask you from your great favor, for you are able and I am not, you know and I don't and you know all hidden matters. 0 Allah if you know that this matter (and you name it) is good for me in my deen, my livelihood,, the aftermath of my matter (also for! my life in the Hereafter) its long term and short term then decree it for me, make it easy for me and bestow blessings in it for me. And if you know that this matter is bad for me in my deen, livelihood, the aftermath of my matter, its long term and short term, then keep it away from me and turn me away from it and for me the good wherever it is and then content me with it." (Bukhari).

The slave of Allah needs to know what benefits him in his livelihood. Is he able to achieve it? is it going to be easy or not? Certainly Allah taught him from what he taught man. So the knowledge is His. The slaves ability is from Allah, otherwise he is weak, making matters easy is also from Allah. If He does not make things easy for His slave they will turn out difficult. The prophet directed the Muslim to the essence of Uboodiyah. Asking guidance from the one who is All Knowing about the matter math of every task, its details, its good and its bad; seeking the help and Ability from the All Able, Asking His favor by making the matters easy for him. If Allah guides him due to his ability and makes it easy for him. If Allah guides him due to His knowledge, helps him due to his Ability and makes it easy for him due to His favor, then he needs Allah's help to preserve his guidance and to bestow blessings in it, so that his matter (what he asked for) becomes firm and grows. The person requests that Allah makes him content with His choice, otherwise Allah may choose what the person dislikes not knowing that it is good for him. Abdullah ibn Umar said, "The person asks Allaah for guidance and Allah gives him. However he turns angry on His Lord, only to look at the aftermath and find that Allah indeed has chosen (what is good) for him." The maqdoor (what shall happen according to Allah's divine decree) is sheltered by 2 things: 1. Istikhara, before (i.e. before the maqdoor is manifested) and 2. Ridha (content) after (i.e. after its manifestation) Part of the success which Allah bestows on His slave is to guide him to Istikara before the manifestation of the maqdoor and to contentment after it happens. Part of Allah's humiliation of His slave is when he does not make Istikhara before the maqdoor occurs and does not become content with it after it happens.


A. Fifty Thousand Years Before The Creation of the heavens and the Earth Al Kitabah means that Allah wrote everything about the creation. He has written what He says and what He does and all that comes to existence due to His actions and sayings. All is written in Umm ul kitab (lit: the mother of the book) known also as (al-Lauh al-Mahfoudh) The preserved tablet and (Ad dhikr) the original book of records. Allah says which means): "Do not you know that Allah knows All that is in the Heaven and on earth? Verily, it is all in the book. Verily! That is easy for Allah"(22:70) The prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) explained that "Allah had written the ordained measures (and due proportions) of the creation, fifty thousand years before the creation of the heavens and the earth and His Arsh was on the water" (saheeh Muslim v4 pg. 1397) Allah ordered The Pen (Al-qalam) to write the records of all preordained measures and qualities unit; the hour is established. Narrated Abee Hafsah: Ubaadah bin saamit said to his son: "Oh son! You shall not get the true sense of eemaan until you know that what has befallen you was not going to miss you and what missed you was not going to befall upon you. I heard the prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) saying: "As soon as Allah created the pen, he commanded it saying: write. It said: "what should I write my Lord?" Allah said: "Write the record of all things to happen till the establishment of the hour" Oh my son I have heard Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) saying: "He who dies believing other than this is not from me" (i.e. is not upon the prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) belief) (Abu Dawud)

B. The Writing Following The Creation of Aadam Umar ibn Al-khattab was asked about the following ayah: "And remember when your Lord brought forth the children of Aadam from their loins their seed (or from Adam's loins ,his offspring) and made them bear witness as to themselves saying "Am I not your Lord? They said : "Yes". We testify lest you say on the day of resurrection, verily we were unaware of this" (7:172). and he said, "When Allah's Messenger was asked about it, I heard him say: "I Allah created Aadam and then he passed his right hand and brought forth from it his offspring saying "I have created these for paradise and they will do the deeds of the people of Jannah (those that will go to paradise), he then passed his hand over his back and brought forth from it his offspring saying "I have created these for the Hell and they will do the deeds of the people of the hellfire". Thereupon a man asked what is the use of doing any good? Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said: "Verily when Allah creates a slave for paradise he uses him in doing the deeds of the people of paradise until he dies doing them upon which he will enter paradise but when he creates a slave for the hellfire, he uses him in doing the deeds of those who will enter hell, until he dies upon doing one of their actions upon which he will enter hell'.(Imaam Ahmad, Abu Dawood & others) Shaikh Al-Albaani commented that many people may understand that these Hadith indicate that man has no choice with respect to his deeds while there are many who think that being from the people from Paradise or the people of Hell is an arbitrary matter, or just a sheer luck. It is known that Allah is perfect in His Names and Attributes that "there is nothing like Him" (42:11) it! is according to His Knowledge Wisdom and Justice and that he the exalted chose people for Paradise or for Hell he knew that those chosen for Paradise will obey him when they are commanded to do so. An those for Hell will disobey Allah decisions therefore it is in accordance with what would come of them. Belief in eemaan that necessitates the admittance into paradise or disbelief that necessitates punishment in Hell, both faith and disbelief are a matter of choice for mankind. Allah the exalted does not force anyone to adopt other choice: "Then whosoever wills let him believe and whosoever wills let him disbelieve" (18:29). Because His swt choice is All Just and All Wise. Therefore Allah cannot be questioned about it. (Al Albaani in silsilatul Ahadeeth As Saheehah)

C. The Taqdeer Allah - 'Umari: Covering the persons life span. The persons livelihood, life term, deeds and his status in the Hereafter (wretched or blessed) are written while in the mothers womb at an early stage of his development. This is confirmed in the hadeeth related by Abdullah ibn Masood who said, "Allah's Messengers saw said: "The creation of everyone of you is collected for the first forty days in his mothers womb in the form of a nutfah after which it turns into an alaqah for an equal period. Then it becomes a mudgha (a lump of flesh) for a similar period and then Allah sends an angel with four words recording the persons provision, his life term, his deeds and whether he will be wretched or the blessed (in the hereafter). Then he breaths the soul into him. By Allah besides whom there is no true God, the one amongst you will do the deeds of the people of Paradise till there is only the distance of a cubit between him and Paradise but then the writings precedes and so he will do the deeds of the people of the fire, and thus enters it; and one of you will do the deeds of the people of the fire until there remains a cubit between him and Hell that the writings precedes and he will do the deeds of the people of Paradise, and thus enters it

D. Taqdeer-There is the Annual Taqdeer, which occurs in the night of decree (lailatul-qadar) "Therein (that night) is decreed every matter of ordainment." (44:4) E. Daily Taqdeer - Yawmi "Whosoever in the Heavens and the Earth asks of Him (for their needs)). Everyday He has a matter to bring forth." (55:29) The prophet explained the above ayat, "Everyday He has a matter to bring forth"-that He may forgive a sin for someone, lifts in honor some, relief the hardship of someone, lifts in honor some and lowers some. (Ibn Maajah and Abee Aasim in As Sunnah) What is the relation between all of the above levels of the written Taqdeer? Ibn Taymiyyah and Ibn Qayyim stressed that the taqdeer in the preserved tablet is a general and comprehensive one that covers everything, while the other levels of taqdeer are special details for the taqdeer of the preserved tablet (Ibn Taymiyah Aqeedah Waasitiyah) The writing in the preserved tablet is not subject to any change whatsoever because it is scriiptd upon Allah's Knowledge (i.e. the one written 50,000 years before the creation of the Heavens and the earth). However changes may occur in the other taqdeers , but these changes are also recorded in the preserved tablet.


Is the belief that Allah has willed everything that goes on in the universe. His will and His preordaining power effectively covers everything. Whatever He willed will occur and whatever He did not will not occur, "If Allah willed He would have made you one nation, but that He may test you in what He has given you." (5:48) Had Allah wished for us to follow one book, one legislation and one messenger, at all times and all places, He would have done that. What has passed is what Allah wished: tests, trials in the different judicial legislation's which He has brought down; thereupon these who will comply will be distinguished from those who disobey or reject. He is All Just and All Wise in His Masheeah (will) The Mashee'ah and the Iradah (what Allah wants) Allah's Mashee'ah (Will) is of 2 type: 1.Masheeah pertinent to His creation and command. It is not necessary that what is being carried out by His creation is liked by Him. He however willed it to pass. Allah created Satan, yet He hates him. He also created many things He loves. Whatever He permitted to exist, from kufr, belief, obedience or disobedience is pertinent to His Mashheeah, whether He loves it or not. This is also known as Iradah Kawniyyah (universal will) in this will Allah may decree to pass things which He does not command His slaves to follow. E.g.: kuffar or disobedience. No one can escape this universal will of Allah or go against it. 2.-Iradah Ash shareeyyah pertinent to Allah's legislation. It is related to what Allah loves and likes whether it takes place or not. The acts of obedience taking place by Allah's creation are loved by Allah and are passed by His universal will. Under His judicial will it is not necessary that His commands are carried out. Some people rebel against his commands. So Allah loves obedience or that we obey our parents etc. but not everyone is obedient to Allah, so even though Allah loves for! those to take place, it does not necessarily take place. The linkage between Al Iradah Al kawniyyah and the Iradah Shareeyyah is clear in the following ayah: "and He likes not kufr for His slaves." (40:7) Allah does not like or love kuffar, yet it exists


Allah is the sole creator of everything including mans deeds. No single atom or higher element, static or in motion exists, but Allah has created it. Nothing takes place in this world except Allah has created it 'Verily Allah is the creator of everything." (39:62) "Say (O Muhammad) that Allah is the creator of everything and He is the one Irresistible." (13:16) In all of His actions there is perfect Wisdom. He does not do anything in vain nor is His action devoid of any meaning. His actions are Real, All Wise, and All just. His creatures and their deeds are His creation. The slave of Allah has real ability, will, choice and action. Mans ability to move and to believe are actions that are truly attributed to Him. These actions are created by Allah Mans movement, standing, sitting etc.. are real actions which Allah decreed, set under His ability, willed and created them for Him. Mans will and actions are next to His swt. This is the medium and straight way of relating the actions of Allah to those of His creation. This is the course of the salaf us salih (righteous predecessors). It stand against two extremes: a. The claim made by a sect called Al Jabariyyah-they hold that the people have no free will and are not responsible for their actions, rather they are forced like a feather in the wind. b. .Known as Al-qadariyyah-they deny Al-qadar and claim that an creates his own actions by his own ability and will making creators other than Allah. That is why the prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) called them Majoos (magians) of this ummah," because the Majoos claim that Satan created evil and harmful things, making Satan a creator besides Allah The medium course is that of A! hlu Sunnah the followers of as Salaf us Salih. Allah swt has created our actions and knows them before we do them due to his Perfect Knowledge but this does not negate that people have free will and responsible for their actions because Allah does not force us to choose that action. Carry on doing (good) deeds for everyone will find easy to do such deeds as will lead him to his destined place for which he has been created. So he who is destined to be among the happy (in the Hereafter) will find it easy to do the deeds of such people. He swt forsook the wicked and the evil ones and left them to themselves and did not help them because they turned away from Him The slaves stand to Allah.

Al- qadar has 2 levels: 1. Before the taqdeer takes place, he should seek the help from Allah, depend upon him and supplicate to him. 2. After the taqdeer takes place. If the taqdeer is different from what he had worked for (1awful and good) he should be patient and accept the taqdeer. If the taqdeer is a favor that conforms with what he had set up and worked for, then he should be grateful to Allah and should praise Him for it. If he commits a sinful deed, he should ask Allahs forgiveness and repent "But if you persevere patiently and have taqwa (be pious) then verily this is from the great matters which you must hold on with all your efforts." (3:186) Some people take the Al-qadar as a plea against Allah. They think its not fair if Allah wanted something to happen that He punishes us for it. Allah says (which means) "Those who took partners (in worship) with Allah will say, "If Allah had willed, we would not have taken partners (in worship) with Him... Likewise belied those who were before them, till they tasted of our wrath. Say, "Have you any knowledge (proof) that you can produce before us? Verily you follow nothing but guess and you do nothing but lie."(6:148) So Allah warned those who take Al-qadar as a plea against Him. "We sent Apostles as givers of glad tidings and warning, not to let the people have a plea against Allah."(4:165) "Allah does not burden a soul beyond its capacity." (2::286) "We showed the humans both ways." If you have no choice Allah is burdening you with more than you can bear. So you can change. He swt ordered you to be pious, modest, so it means you can do this, you cannot say I cant change. You think too much about the affairs of this dunya. When you leave college or university what you will further study. Why don't you think about the fire and paradise, why is t that you think of a certain subject to choose in the world, why don't you say Allah wrote this for me in the al-qadr? Why do you study medicine and not stay at home? Why do you only use al-qadr when it comes to hell and paradise? Why is it that when you are thirsty you move to quench your thirst and when you are hungry? Why don't you say that Allah will provide or if Allah wills I will then eat? You work in this life and think before choosing. You don't take the al-qadr as an excuse when someone hits you, why then do you get angry? If you punch someone they'll punch you back. Once a man came to Umar ibn al-khattaab who stole and when Umar ibn al-khattaab was about to cut his hand he said: "why are you going to punish me when this is the alqadr of Allah" so Umar ibn al-khattaab replied "This is also the al-qadr of Allah that I cut your hand.


1. Peace of mind. Everyone knows that what hit him could not have missed him and what missed him could not have reached him.

2. It doesn't make you grieve about anything because you don't say things like "if I did such and such then such and such would have happened", so you don't worry too much about the future because you believe that everything is already written. What you do worry about is your deeds in doing good.

3. It gives you the will power and determination to go forward in the way of Allah. You don't fear anybody because you know that hit you could not have missed you. The prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said to ibn abbas: "if the whole nation were to gather together to benefit you they would only benefit you with that which Allah had already written you and if the whole nation were to gather to harm you they could only harm you with that which Allah had already written to harm you. The pen has been lifted and the ink has dried".

4. It teaches you to be modest and humble because everything that you are doing is by the will of Allah so if you succeed you know that Allah helped you in doing it, you don't succeed because you are intelligent or because you are rich or because you deserve it and a person isn't poor because he is stupid. This stops you from having pride or arrogance because you know that Allah can afflict you with harm.

5. Total dependence upon Allah. You take precautions, do as much as you can an then depend upon Allah because al-qadr does not stop you from taking precautions. The prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said: "Take precautions as everybody is guided to that which has been destined for him., i.e. you should drink to quench your thirst If something bad comes its because of our bad doings and if something good reaches us then it is from Allah grace. "Whatever of good reaches you is from Allah and whatever of evil befalls you is from yourself."(4:79)


on June 9, 2005 11:46 PM
Faisal Akhtar said

Are sisters just as averse to reading long copy and paste jobs as I am?


Post a link next time Akhi. WOW

on June 10, 2005 9:20 AM
sayma said

Please excuse the ignorance, but what does ROFL mean?

on June 10, 2005 10:02 AM
Justoju said

(putting on glasses) I believe the term 'ROFL' is a modern english acronym for the phrase "rolling on the floor laughing". It found its birth in internet chat circles when highly amused chatters wished to express their level of amusement and felt the need for a term that exceeded the traditional 'lol' or 'laughing out loud'. From this we can understand that Br. Faisal was so amused by something that was said that he fell down onto the floor and started rolling around in laughter.

on June 10, 2005 11:39 AM
Faisal Akhtar said

I didn't know until recently either.

ROFL= Rolling on the floor laughing.

LOL= Laughing out Loud

There are others but have offesnsive references.


on June 10, 2005 11:40 AM
Faisal Akhtar said

(I know this post is a little off topic)

Last night, Hassan and I were discussing about the room Islam has for cultural practices and we differed on how much room. Hassan is of the opinion (feel free to correct me if I am wrong Hassan) that most cultural practices are jahiliyyah and after Islam comes, people should abandon their jahili practices. I was of the opinion that Islam has room for some practices such as greeting one another by more than just a handshake. If one chooses to hug ones brother or sister as well as shaking their hand, there is nothing wrong with that. However, my tolerance for cultural practices is waning. After I read the article on "Bride Kidnapping", my skepticism and paranoia about culture shot through the roof. Read this article and watch the video, you will be amazed. Kyrgyzstan is 75% Muslim.


I am sure this seems strange to us, but I am also positive that our customs seem just as ridiculous to Kyrgs. This stupid cultural baggage we carry around with us such as dowry (dowry in the desi sense where the woman's parents give money and gifts to the groom) needs to be dropped.

I am starting to realize that a resurgence of culture, nationality and ethnic identity is not progress, it is a step towards jahiliyyah. We are Muslims before we are anything and until we realize that, we will be stuck here.

on June 10, 2005 12:09 PM
gillette said


on June 10, 2005 2:59 PM
Faisal Akhtar said

Don't get any ideas Hassan...

on June 10, 2005 4:25 PM
Ibtisam said

I believe....bride-kidnapping, is haraam in islaam, plus it ends up being bad for the girl(bride) anyway, culturally, she is marked for death that really happens in villages(or Argentina)

I did'nt know they came up with ROFL, I thought it was an acronym for class like FOL (november, must take everyone, Al-Maghrib).

on June 10, 2005 5:21 PM
oh my God said

that was kinda scary watching the clips and reading about the "bride-kidnapping" it is so un-islaamic, unfortunately where there is less knowledge about islaam, such things are part of people's cultures and only with knowledge of islaam they have to be changed or stop its practice. Either people rebel and become western, like the girl who dates, or they just continue to practice such non-sense, subhanallah.
maybe I just get scared easily.....but that was one scary thing.

on June 10, 2005 6:15 PM
asef said

Assalaamu Alaikum:

Ukhti, its my impression that you are light year ahead of those individuals that have run through a rough patch in their life, such as an event of divorce/separation in their life. Alhamdulillah.

Your words Masha'Allah cannot be anything but a tidings of reassurance for other muslims/muslimahs.

May Allah be MOST pleased with you, and soon Bring to you the BEST of recourse...Ameen

...now the following are my general comments regarding divorce/separation (and the aftermath)...

At the time of Sahabas: Dicvorce was an accepted norm in the fabric of society. No one was shunned (be it male/female) and usually a Man would step forward and marry a divorced lady.

In many Arab countries (especially in the North African region): Divorce is still quiet common, and not regarded as Taboo. A man/woman divorced will soon find someone as a companion.

In Indo-Pak culture Divorce is a TABOO!...and I cant say much about how paranoid the Desis are about having divorce in their family. Drastically different to what Divorce is understood in Islam.

Now in good new America, the Divorced rate between the muslim communiy and the non-muslims have reached parity, or close to it...which is like 50%. So its not something that should surprise folks, especially us.

I have, however, some ideas for young muslims of how to approach marriage in this day and age.

1- Each young man and woman (lets say they are almost done in college or freshly out of college) should seek in their marriage an understanding of the Dynamics of what it takes to be a good husband and or wife (and eventually a better muslim/muslimah)...find the weakness in one selves and point the potential "improvements" in your spouse. If both couple are "willing" to improve together then they may have successful life together as a couple. It may take time but both couple can be a better muslim/muslimah together compared to when they were single.
However, If there is no willing or interests from one side or both sides, then say salaam and part amicably.

2- The second approach by young Muslim Americans could be to regard marriage as an institution like your job/career in a high profile company in corporate America. Meaning, when you go thru an interview process and then secure the job you are still a newbie. Your colleagues/peers your supervisors are all anticipating how you can be a team player and work towards the common goal/project of the group/dept and eventually that of the company.
Entering marriage is not that different if you disect it...you have to be careful of what you say or do, how not to rub people off the wrong way (right from the get-go)...You must seek to understand the other point of view before you can suggest any improvements...ofcourse all of this has to be done with respect and patience. And once you yourself have (improved) as part of the team and build rapport with your colleagues, you can then influence others around you, insha'Allah.

Anyways...not that I want to make this comment longer then it already is...but life is beautiful, ALhamdulillah...Right after college I got married to my ex when we met on internet, I then got divorced after 4-5 years of marriage...and now 3 years past that I am getting married again (this July, Insha'Allah).

IF you ask me now if I wished that i didn't have a divorce...I would say...The BEST has happeend to me from ALLAH...and I am completely content with it...Alhamdulillah.

on June 11, 2005 2:01 PM
saleem said

word faisal. congrats on ur upcoming wedding.

on June 11, 2005 7:38 PM
Faisal Akhtar said

Thankyou but that was Brother Asif who is getting married this July, not me. (However, I might just get married this july, make dua)

on June 11, 2005 9:13 PM
saleem said

word faisal. i'm sorry for the mistake. may Allah do what is best for you. ameen.

on June 11, 2005 11:17 PM
Bint Saeed said

SubhanAllah I knew this type of article would spark some interest but MashaAllah the discussion taking place here has led to some ppl giving awesome Hidaya;)

JazakAllahu Khayr to br. Asef (as well as my mabruks!) for his insight and kind words.

As far as the 'cultural' aspect of marriage goes...lets hold out on that until someone writes a piece on it cuz let me tell you (and as many of you can see) it'll lead to a LONGGGGGGG discussion and also i'm not one to endorse or encourage cultural bida'a when it comes to marriage or any other momentous event.

Peace out..masalaama, wasalaam walaykum
ps: miss you tons nadia!!!

on June 13, 2005 6:22 PM
Rami said

Asalaam Aleikum Warahmatullah Wabarakatu,

Congratulations Br. Asef on your marriage. May Allah make it a blessed relationship and give you happiness in your marriage.

Welcome aboard sister Bint Saeed. May Allah reward you for your efforts and may He make you a tool for dispersing knowledge and Hidaya to us needy souls.

on June 19, 2005 11:55 PM
Bint Saeed said

To the brothers and sisters on this forum, please remember me in your dua' for the test is getting more difficult as I speak and it is with a heavy heart that I turn towards my Rabb seaking His assistance InshaAllah.

on June 24, 2005 11:19 PM
Anonymouse said

As salaamu Alaikum,

may Allah (swt) make this test easy for you Bint Saeed, and shower you with His (swt) blessings. Ameen.

on June 27, 2005 4:15 PM
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