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February 2, 2006
A Fairy Tale?

by Gillette aka Hassan[uddin] Khaja

Once upon a time, in a city called Mecca, Muhammad (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) was ordered by Allah (Ta'ala) to, "Read in the name of your Lord, Who Created." He (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) told everyone else to do the same thing. But then, the kings of Mecca started to persecute, ridicule, and boycott him and all his followers. So, instead of fighting them, he (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) moved to Medina, where the people listened and started reading, too.

The kings got scared. "What if it spreads?" they wondered. So they kept harassing them until Muhammad (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) started speaking their language. The centuries went on, and his followers who came after him spread his message across three continents.

But then, most of his followers started to get weak. They forgot his message, and started learning the messages of their enemies. They loved these messages, became weak because of them, then thought they could be strong again with the same messages that made them weak in the first place. Their enemies rejoiced.

Until they started to learn his message again. This got their enemies angry again, and they started to turn on Muhammad's (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) followers. They tried to keep them from following him (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) by ripping off the clothes from women, leaving them naked for everyone to watch. France, Germany, and Denmark did it, while Muhammad's (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) followers got angry, but didn't do anything about it.

Then one of the enemies went even further. Jyllands-Posten, from Denmark, to teach his message, published cartoons that insulted Muhammad (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam). He thought they went well with an article on free speech.

Muhammad's (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) followers didn't think it went so well. They realized that they had to speak the language of their enemy - money. They boycotted Arla Foods, from Denmark, until they stopped getting any money from Muhammad's followers. Then Lego stopped getting their money. Then other companies in Denmark stopped getting their money, until the enemies of Muhammad's (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) followers knew never to insult Muhammad (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) in public again.

Then, some of the wiser followers started saying, "Now that they stopped insulting the Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam), maybe we should stop insulting him. We should start listening to Allah (Ta'ala) and Muhammad (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam), and expect other people to listen to them, too.

We should believe in and worship Allah (Ta'ala) the way He (Ta'ala) and Muhammad (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) told us to. Allah (Ta'ala) sent revelation to him, so he (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) would've known better, right? If someone starts saying something about our religion, we should ask them to quote Allah (Ta'ala) and Muhammad (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) before saying anything..."

Then the hidden enemies, who masqueraded as Muhammad's (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) followers, got nervous. They didn't like that Muhammad's (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) followers started listening to Allah (Ta'ala) and Muhammad (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam). The enemies became envious of Allah (Ta'ala) and Muhammad (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam), and wanted to be followed.

So when the followers started saying things like, "...and the Companions should quote Allah (Ta'ala) and Muhammad (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam), and the scholars should quote Allah (Ta'ala) and Muhammad. The Salafis need to quote them, and the Sufis need to quote them, and the Shi'ites need to quote them..." the enemies interrupted.

One of them said, "Are you mad? The scholars did all this work deriving opinions from the statements of Allah (Ta'ala) and Muhammad (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam), and you'd dare to ask them how they got these opinions? How dare you question their authority?"

Another of the enemies said, "I don't think this is the way we should do things. We can't do anything without establishing the khilafah. Anyone who dies without pledging allegiance to it dies the death of an ignoramus."

Then a third one said, "I think you're all wrong. We need to start showing people real Islam." He started going on about how the followers needed to show people that Islam liberates women and slaves, gives them rights, and condemns the murder of innocent people (except when they're in Israel). He said that we needed to start teaching people everything about the beauty of Islam, except how to enter it.

The wise followers, anxious but firm, asked, "What did Allah (Ta'ala) and Muhammad (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) say about this? Ibn 'Abbas got angry when someone started quoting Abu Bakr and Umar instead of Muhammad (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam). He said, 'I fear that stones will descend upon you from the sky, that I say to you "the Messenger of Allah said," and you say to me that Abu Bakr and Umar say something else."' If their words were subject to the words of Allah (Ta'ala) and his Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam), yours should be as well..."

The enemies got angry, "WAHHABI!"

The enemies ignored the wise followers, and deceived people with their messages. Meanwhile, they kept telling everyone that the wise ones were extremists and were the greatest evil to befall the ummah. This went on until the people hated hearing the phrases, "Allah (Ta'ala) said," and "His Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said."

THE END


of and relating to...
gillette said

Sources:

"Read in the name of your Lord, Who Created."

(Al-Alaq 96:1)

"Ibn 'Abbas got angry..."

Musnad Ahmed, Jaami' Bayaanul Ilm li Ibn Abdul Barr, al-Faqih wal-Muttafaqqih li al-Khatib al-Baghdadi.

More words:

Allah (Ta'ala) said, "If you differ in anything amongst yourselves, refer it to Allah and His Messenger, if you do believe in Allah and the Last Day. That is best and most suitable for final determination."

An-Nisa 4:459

Allah (Ta'ala) said, "But no, by your Lord! They cannot have any faith until they make you (the Messenger) a judge in all disputes that they have between them, and find in themselves no resistance against your decision, but accept them with full submission."

An-Nisa 4:65

Allah (Ta'ala) said, "O you who believe! Do not put yourselves forward before Allah and His Messenger, and have taqwa of Allah. Indeed, Allah is all-Hearing, all-Seeing.”

Al-Hujarat 49:1

The Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said, "I am leaving amongst you two things, you will never go astray as long as you cling to them: the Book of Allah and my Sunnah. They will not separate from each other, until you meet me at the Lake."

(Hakim, Sahih according to Al-Albaani)

on February 3, 2006 10:21 AM
asef said

Salaam:

Br. Gillette: Two comments here.

1- I really liked your style and the flow of narratives in this article, masha'Allah. Very, engaging. I hope you will write more in this style.

2- Secondly, lets refrain from calling other muslims as "enemies", thats too harsh a word for another muslim. If you consider a muslim to be your enemy, then you are implying (explicitly or otherwise) that they are not muslims. And you know yourself, that you cant just call another muslim a non-muslim, just because their opinion differs from yours. And if you do so, then how are you different from those who call you the enemies of Islaam and vice versa...I mean it will never end.

I really liked how Sheikh Yasir Qadhi explained this in one of his talks, but for that I would urge you to take his light of guidance class, Aqeedah 101.

Please keep it in perspective...but otherwise, I liked this article.

Ma'Assalaama
asif

on February 3, 2006 1:22 PM
asef said

Salaam:

Alhamdulillah...so we agree, we (as in you and I) should not call a muslim (regardless of his background) an enemy, especially when we are typing away on Hidayaonline.

Khalaas...I concur with your assessment.

Ma'Assalaaama

on February 3, 2006 7:11 PM
Mohammed Irfan Shariff said

Assalamu-ALaikum,

Is it really the enemies of Islam... or do you also want to point out the massive amount of people ignorant of Islam?

on February 4, 2006 12:01 AM
faz said

Assalamu alaikum,

Nice writing style mashaAllah.

In an authentic hadith it has been related the prophet sallalahu alayhi wasallam said "The scholars are the heirs of the prophets."

on February 5, 2006 6:18 PM
Abu Ayesha said

Masha Allaah when I last read the title, I though it was a seerah story. Then re-read it again and liked the narrative. Besides having read so much about the cartoon, the fact that this was still a good read is commendable.

Two disprepencies, however, if you would like to call it that way:

1. We do not like in fables and fairy tales are all too goody goody. Rather, this is more of a Truth is stranger than fiction story. But can't argue too much about it, can we?

2. I found the term "Wahhabi" a little out of the post. Agreed that this by itself amount to ignorance and perhaps, slander. Yet, clarifying who or what Wahhabis are require another article and a lot of space. Here it is the united voice of Muslims against the miscreants and fools who draw cartoons - and let it be that way. We, the Muslims verses them.

And insha Allaah because we are all so together in defending our Messenger sallhualhiwassalam, we will insha Allaah also be together in defending his sallhualahiwassalam Sunnahs in the near future. Together.

on February 5, 2006 10:56 PM
asef said

Salaam:

I spent the weekend in the annual MSA-West conference in University of California Sacramento.

Masha'Allah, I am really optimistic about the future of muslims and especially Islaam in USA...Alhamdulillah.

The sisters overwhelmingly dominated the brothers both in presence and enthusiasm, yet they were the more patient one as well.

Its nice to see young-adult muslims working and coming together, for the sake of Allah, and I really felt the sweetenes of respect and love that the brothers and sisters showed towards each other representing delegates coming from various Universities within California, Alhamdulillah!

May Allah elevate each one of them and make them leaders (and parents of leaders) of Islaam in America, and to do good and forbid evil according to Qur'aan and sunnah of RasulAllah (sal-lal-la-hu-wa-sal-lam)....Ameen

Ma'Assalaama

on February 6, 2006 1:30 PM
Nadia said

Mashallah, the article is very apt. I just wish all the muslims could see where they went wrong before jumping at others and revenging for offences. Allah(swt) is enough to take care of His religion and the Prophet if the need comes, but Muslims never showed by their actions or solidarity that they were the sentinels of Islam and people should think twice before they stereotype or ridicule our religion or our Prophet (PBUH). Let us all pray that we Muslims take one step further, become the believers and take accountability of our souls and self-check our respect for our religion and our beautiful Sunnah. Ameen

on February 8, 2006 2:17 PM
ali ibn masood said

"Then, some of the wiser followers started saying, "Now that they stopped insulting the Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam), maybe we should stop insulting him. We should start listening to Allah (Ta'ala) and Muhammad (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam), and expect other people to listen to them, too."

Good point, Hassan. It may be that these things are a punishment from Allah and a wake-up sign that we mock the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) by disobeying him and by befriending those who belittle his sunnah. We should make it very clear to those who don't know from the muslims that mocking anything from the sunnah or Islam (even if they claim that it is only in jest or to make a joke) is clear kufr. We see it all the time.

Muslims mock the beard. Muslims mock the hijaab. Muslims mock niqaab. Muslims mock going to the masjid. Muslims mock those who stand foot to foot when they pray. Muslims mock the khateebs of the masaajid while they are the inheritors of the prophets. Muslims mock the dua'aat al muhtadeen while they are following the prophets footsteps in making dawah. Muslims mock those who cling to the sunnah and call them extremists and fundamentalists, and literalists. Muslims mock the sahaabah by befriending those who curse them. Muslims mock Islam by believing that there are other equal sources of legislation. Muslims mock Islam by trying to compromise in their deen to be "balanced" (while in fact everything in Islam is balanced and the middle way no matter how evil society gets").

Allah (swt ), says:
" And if you question them, they declare emphatically: "We were only talking idly and joking." Say: "Was it at Allah, His Aayat and His Messenger you were mocking?" Make no excuses! You have rejected faith after you had accepted it, if We pardon some of you, We will punish others amongst you because they were sinners" (Qur'an 9:65-66)

It is reported on the authority of Ibn `Umar (ra ), Muhammad ibn Ka'ab, Zaid Ibn Aslam and Qatadah that in the course of the Battle of Tabuk, a man came up and declared: "We have seen none greedier, none so untruthful and none so cowardly as these (Qur'anic) reciters of ours (i.e. Allah's Messenger (saas ) and the Companions). `Awf Ibn Malik replied: "(In fact) you are the liar and a hypocrite; I shall inform the Messenger of Allah (saas ) (about what you have said)." And so `Awf went to Allah's Messenger (saas ) in order to inform him of what had occurred, but he found that Revelation had already preceded him. Then that man came to the Messenger of Allah (saas ) when he was just starting out on a journey on his camel. The man pleaded: "We were only joking and indulging in travellers' talk to pass the time." Ibn `Umar (ra ) said: "It is as if I see him before me now, clinging to the saddle-belt of the Allah's Messenger's camel and the rough stones were battering his legs as he ran and he was saying: "We were only talking idly and joking." But the Messenger of Allah (saas ) replied: "" Was it at Allah, His Aayat and His Messenger you were mocking? Make no excuses! You have rejected faith after you had accepted it."" ." He (saas ) did not look towards him, nor did he say anything further."

Here's something from Shaykh Saalih Al-Fawzaan (hafidhahullah)
http://www.bakkah.net/articles/mocking-Islam-disbelief.htm


on February 8, 2006 3:05 PM
Anonymous said

"Here's something from Shaykh Saalih Al-Fawzaan (hafidhahullah)
http://www.bakkah.net/articles/mocking-Islam-disbelief.htm"

Oh, you mean the same fellow who considers slavery a fundamental part of Islam? Not to mention the one who has banned the marriage of Arab women to non-Arab Muslims. Interesting choice of mentors you have...

on February 9, 2006 7:31 PM
Anonymous said

Sorry, forgot to post the appropriate link:

http://www.arabianews.org/english/article.cfm?qid=132&sid=2

on February 9, 2006 7:32 PM
gillette said

Brother Anonymous,

I don't know what you're attempting to prove with this, but mistakes in ijtihaad aren't reasons to boycott a scholar.

Additionally, his statement didn't permit unrestricted slavery:

“Slavery is a part of Islam,” he says in the tape, adding: “Slavery is part of jihad, and jihad will remain as long there is Islam.”

"Al-Fawzan’s most famous book, “Al-Tawheed – Monotheism”, is taught to Saudi high school students. In it, he says that most Muslims are polytheists, and their blood and money are therefore free for the taking by “true Muslims.” "

This is a popular claim by anti-"Wahhabi" extremists. Someone attributed this statement to Muhammad bin Abdul Wahhab, and even cited the book (Kashf ash-Shubuhaat). I had someone read through the whole thing, and they didn't find such a quote.

If you'd like, I can put in a call to him to see what he thinks. If you want to try to find the quote and post it here (the burden of proof is upon the accuser, not on the accused), here's the book:

Here's the book:

http://www.saaid.net/book/2/459.zip

As for the ruling prohibiting marriages between Arabs and non-Arabs, this is in Reliance of the Traveller (p. 523, Book M: Marriage, m4.2) as well. It's only anti-"Wahhabi" extremism that causes Shaykh Al-Fawzaan to be singled out.

on February 9, 2006 10:19 PM
gillette said

"
MINOR SHIRK:

Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan says:

“Minor Shirk does not expel one from the Religion, but it causes a deficiency in Tawheed; it is a way to Major Shirk, and it is of two categories:

The first category is apparent Shirk, and it consists of words and actions. So the words are like those used in swearing by other than Allaah. The Prophet (sallallahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said: “Whoever swears by other than Allaah, then he has indeed disbelieved and committed Shirk.” (At-Tirmidhi and Al-Haakim declared it was sahih)

And he (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said about the statement: ‘What Allaah wills and what you will.’; “Do you make me one to be called upon along with Allaah? Say: What Allaah alone wills.” (Ahmad, Nisa'i, Ibn Majah, declared Sahih by al-Arna'oot)

As for the actions, then it is like wearing a ring and thread to lift an affliction, or to remove it, and like the hanging of amulets in fear of the evil eye, and other than it. If it is believed that these things are causes for the raising of an affliction, or removing it, then this is Minor Shirk, because Allaah did not make these to be causes. If it is believed that these things themselves remove the calamity, then this is Major Shirk, because that is devotion to other than Allaah.

The second category of Minor Shirk is hidden Shirk (Shirkul-Khafee). It is Shirk in desires and intentions, like riyaa‘ (showing off), and sum’ah (seeking good repute), like performing an action which brings a person closer to Allaah, and desiring the praise of the people by it, it is like a person who perfects his Prayer, or gives charity, so that the people will praise and commend him for it. Or it is like the person who recites the remembrance (dhikr) of Allaah with a good voice and recitation, so that the people will hear him and praise and commend him for it. And riyaa‘ (showing off) is when a person mixes his action with that which negates it. Allaah the Exalted said:

“So whosoever wishes to meet his Lord, then let him perform righteous acts, and let him not associate anyone in the worship of his Lord.” [Sooratul-Kahf 18:11]

The Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said: “What I fear for you most is Minor Shirk” They said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, what is Minor Shirk?’ He said: “Riyaa’.” (At-Tabarani, Ahmed, Al-Baghawi)

And from it is doing good deeds for the sake of obtaining worldly status; like the one who performs Pilgrimage (hajj), or calls to Prayer, or agrees with the people for the sake of wealth. Ir it is that he attains religious knowledge, or performs Jihaad for the sake of wealth. The Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said: “May the servant of the Deenaar perish, and may the servant of the Dirham (forms of currency) perish…” (Bukhari)

Imaam Ibnul-Qayyim said:

“As for Shirk in desires and intentions, then it is a sea which has not shore, very few are saved from drowning in it. So whoever desires other than the Face of Allaah for his action, and intends something other than attaining closeness to Him, and seeking a reward from Him, then he has indeed committed Shirk in his intention and desire. Sincerity (ikhlaas) is that all of his actions, statements, intentions, and desires are made purely for Allaah, and this is the pure Religion (Millatul-Hanafiyyah) that Allaah commanded all of His servants with, and nothing other than it will be accepted from any of them, and this is the reality of Islaam. Allaah the Exalted said:

“And whosoever seeks other than Islaam as a religion, then it will never be accepted from him. And in the Hereafter, he will be from amongst the losers.” [Soorat Aali-’Imraan 3:85]

And this is the Religion of Ibraaheem (’alayhis-salaam) and whoever dislikes it is foolish.”

Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan says:

"To summarize what has passed, the difference between Major Shirk and Minor Shirk is as follows:

1. Major Shirk ejects one from the Religion and Minor Shirk does not eject one from the Religion.

2. The one who commits Major Shirk will reside in the Fire, and the one who commits Minor Shirk will not reside in it, even if he enters it at first.

3. Major Shirk nullifies all good deeds, and Minor Shirk does not nullify all good deeds; it only nullifies those good deeds in which riyaa‘, or an action done for the sake of worldly gain are mixed.

4. Major Shirk makes ones blood and wealth lawful, and Minor Shirk does not make these things lawful."
"

P. 41 of the book, "Aqidatut Tawheed"
http://www.saaid.net/book/2/459.zip

If anyone wants to translate the section on Major Shirk, then go for it.

on February 9, 2006 11:08 PM
asef said

salaam:

***** J U M M A H --- M U B A R A K *****

May this coming week be better than the current one, for all of us and the muslimeen...Ameen


I am not even a student of knowledge, and I cant quote references like some brothers & sisters are able to do here on Hidayaonline (masha'Allah), but its reasonably straight forward to understand that no human being is beyond making errors in judgements...and so if Sheikh Fawzaan, or Shiekh Bin Baaz, or all the 4 Imams or Sheikh Abdul Qadir Gilani (rahimullah hi Ajmaeen) may have made some errors, it is only because we are all the sons & daughters of Abu-Adam & Umm-Hawwa (Aleheysallam) who themselves went through the same experience of lapse in judgement.

Ergo, lets keep it in perspective y'all...Last I checked, we have the franks, the anglo-saxons, and the normans all defaming our beloved prophet RasulAllah (sal-lal-la-hu-wa-sal-lam) and here we are talking about errors of our own Ulemas...be they wahaabi or Non-wahaabi.

I liked when a sister once said on Hidayaonline..."wake up people and smell the coffee"! I would, however, suggest that we now need to actually drink the coffee since its post due!

I hope these comments do not offend more people than I aimed to...which was wholesome (0), insha'Allah.

But if it does, then please overlook this shortcoming and consider this my temporary lapse in judgement!

Ma'Assalaama

on February 10, 2006 2:53 AM
Ali Ibn Masood said

"The prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) also married Saffiyah (RA) daughter of 'Huyay ibn Akthab, who was the chief of the Jewish tribe of Bani An-nadhir. Saffiyah was a direct descendant of Prophet Harun, son of Imran and brother of Musa. Therefore, she was the daughter of a prophet and the wife of a prophet.

Safiyyah(RA) was amongst the most beautiful women. She became the slave-girl of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wa sallam), after she was captured (during the battle of Khaibar). HE EMANCIPATED HER AND MADE HER EMANCIPATION HER DOWRY (Al Bukhari 4771 and Muslim 2562) Therefore, the Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wa sallam) made this among his practiced Sunnah until the Day of Resurrection, whereas one can free his slave-girl and make that her dowry for marriage."

"It was said that the Prophet (SA) married Rai'hanah bint Zaid (RA) from the Jewish tribe of Bani an-Nadhir or Bani Quraidah. Rai'hanah was among those captured during the battle against Bani Quraidhah and became the possesion of Allah's prophet (SA). The Prophet (SA) freed her and then married her... Some people said that Rai'hanah remained as the Prophet's slave-girl until he died. Therefore, she is counted among the Prophet's slave girls, not amongst his wives. "

The Prophet's Slave-Girls (Concubines)
"Abu Ubaidah saidee that the Prophet (SA) had four slave girls, Marriyah, who gave birth to Ibrahim, the Prophet's last son, Rai'hanah, another slave girl he got during one of his battles and another slave-girl whom Zainab bint Jahsh gave to him as a gift"

[From Zad-ul Ma'ad fi Hadyi Khairil 'Ibaad of Ibnul Qayyim al Jawziyyah]

As for Islam's position on taking prisoners of war as concubines then this is clear and apparent to any person who has not blinded himself and covered his own heart with doubts.

As for you trying to say something against Al-Allamah Al-Shaykh Saalih Al-Fawzaan then we don't feel sorry for the shaykh as he is taking your good deeds if you have any or you are taking his bad deeds.

"As for the goat who headbutts the mountain, don't feel sorry for the mountain, but feel sorry for the poor goat"

As for your email not.telling@rutgers.edu then it is not necessary. If your name is hidden from us then your Rafd is not for we know a person by his associates. This Ali Al-Ahmed who wrote this is a "saudi" shiah activist and the Saudi information agency is nothing more than a joke. They live in the lands of kufr and throw stones at the lands of the muslims by making fitnah and complaining to their secular friends. And they seek the help of the Jews and Christians against the Muslims. The agenda of the agency is clear to any muslim who is part of Ahlus Sunnah Wal Jama'ah.


on February 10, 2006 7:17 AM
Donald Duck said

Salamualaikum everyone,

JazakAllah Khair again to Hasan for writing this article.

Hasan, can you come down to Rutgers 1 Wednesday night, InshAllah, and give a talk about Shirk and its aspects for the Brother's Committee.
We will all like it very much.

Jazak again

on February 10, 2006 10:48 AM
Faisal Akhtar said

Preach Brotha!!!

How interesting, Shaikh Fawzan is against inter marriage? I must be careful about proposing to daughters of Saudis then.

I don't like that position though. Sounds very much like this will divide the ummah. Can someone please tell me the basis of his fatwa (other than the reliance of the traveller)?

on February 10, 2006 2:49 PM
Talal said

Always be careful in reading this fatawa... some of them are meant to address local problems, so always be sure to keep that in mind.
If Shaykh Fawzaan has a stance against intermarriage, it may very well be to lessen the rampant problem in the khaleej of the local men marrying foreign women for incredibly superficial reasons.

on February 11, 2006 1:07 AM
Faisal Akhtar said

Can someone please point me to that fatwa?

on February 11, 2006 9:12 AM
asef said

Salaam:

"How interesting, Shaikh Fawzan is against inter marriage? I must be careful about proposing to daughters of Saudis then."

Br. Faisal, I thought you were already engaged and getting married this Spring or Summer in Pakistan, Insha'Allah...Are you talking here about proposing your possible 2nd wife :D

Ma'Assalaama

on February 11, 2006 10:19 AM
Faisal Akhtar said

My Mom or Dad read this, I am dead man. Yes, I would love to get married more than once to fulfill that sunnah. However, just for the sake of this discussion, I need that fatwa so that in case I ever do get married again, I don''t propose to an Arab woman.

on February 11, 2006 12:19 PM
Saima said

Faisal Akhtar Wrote:

"My Mom or Dad read this, I am dead man" How about your future wife?

Saima

on February 11, 2006 5:38 PM
Faisal Akhtar said

I don't know her inclinations towards this sunnah. Some women are ok with it, others are not (authubillah). I plan on showing her everything I have written on Hidaya, leave her to judge according to the sunnah. If she is not ok with it, that is her problem.

Can someone for the sake of Allah point me that fatwa please?!!! Google doesn't show anything other than that article over and over.

on February 11, 2006 11:53 PM
gillette said

Someone was wondering what a religious guy would do for fun with his wife.

Any thoughts? This is primarily directed towards couples in the U.S.

on February 11, 2006 11:53 PM
asef said

Salaam:

Excellent query...

I would have commented but Br. Hasan wants thoughts from couples, so I will wait for their inputs.

Ma'Assalaama

on February 12, 2006 1:39 AM
saima said

what religious guys can do for fun with their wives -- incidentally Sh. Yaser Birjas does go over some of it in his seminar. Below are some of my ideas IMHO:

Cook together (it's loads of fun, honest, if you're making a new recipe, try a desert, a complicated one, that you both want).

Play board games, card games, etc.

Read together, or to each other. You have a variety to read from. Read your own work, read what she likes, what you like, or controversial stuff, etc.

Play video games (competing with each other is lots of fun too, as long as we keep let it be fun and games only), there are non-violent, non-scantily-clothed-women kind out there.

Go ice skating, play ping pong, etc.

There are mannnnyyy couple workouts, yoga sessions too. And it's fun. Try massages.

Read a paragraph of the Quran/a hadith and both discuss their own interpretations of it.

long drives, day in the park, boating, fishing, (most of these, if not all, can be done with a niqab on)

Each one can try making a special candlelight dinner for the other, every now and then. Surprise the other, with a gift, maybe a favorite meal, etc

Go out of state every so often. alternating places both of you like. We kinda want to visit all the mosques in the US listed in this calendar we have.

Paint the house, re-design/re-decorate your place.

There're many other activities. Do check out the fol-advisor.zip for some ideas (available on the almaghrib wesite) if you haven't taken the class.

This is in no way all there is, there's a lot more you can do with your spouse; other couples can let you know their ideas.

Honestly though, if the couple in question is comfortable and compatible, then they can have nothing to do and not get bored. You can just chit chat, relax, etc, have a lazy day, and enjoy it nevertheless. And enjoy it you should, coz lazy days get scarce when children start.

For activities with children ..... endless list

on February 12, 2006 7:51 PM
gillette said

What does "IMHO" mean?

Also, anyone who posts ideas are either a) confident that he's religious or b) confident that her husband is religious.

I should rephrase the question: how can a couple have fun the halal way?

on February 12, 2006 8:15 PM
reader said

"My Mom or Dad read this, I am dead man. Yes, I would love to get married more than once to fulfill that sunnah. However, just for the sake of this discussion, I need that fatwa so that in case I ever do get married again, I don''t propose to an Arab woman."

As a sister, I think its only fair that the potential wife know this in advance, to be mentally prepared. If she is coming from another country she may be influenced by stereotypes of 'the west' and not even see this coming. It is almost selfish not to tell her beforehand. Not only will she be in huge culture shock, away from everything familiar to her, in a completely new and foriegn environment, but will then be asked to again make another huge change.

The above comments have absolutely nothing to do with disregarding a sunnah or belittling it, but if one is going to be making such a life changing decision and it is indeed going to be the 'my way or the highway' route, don't take her honor and status as a single unmarried girl, - and then spring this on her when she is all alone, making her possibly feel she wants out, but trapped because of the cultural issues that arise post marriage. Unless you want to be a dictator in your household that has not an ounce of concern for her feelings, she has a right to know you intend to do this.


*As for the halal fun, might I add Twister, massages, and putting henna in each other's hair.

on February 12, 2006 8:36 PM
Faisal Akhtar said

I cannot argue with that Sister Reader.

I know my attitude may seem harsh at times but I am sick and tired of people belittling the sunnah and making fun of it.

Ok, here goes telling my fiancé that she may some day be getting a co-wife. Wow, this should be an interesting conversation. If sisters really feel (I would like the input of other sisters as well) that they would not marry a man or would be reluctant about marriage to a man who plans to get married again, then I guess it qualifies as information that should be disclosed before marriage since any and all information that would likely change someone's decision about marriage should be disclosed beforehand. I honestly didn't think that my fiancé would have that big a problem with it since her uncle does have two wives.

However, Sister Reader makes an excellent argument. I really should not drop this like a bomb on my fiancé after she has been married to me and lost her status and honor as a single woman. Given the attitudes prevalent today in Pakistani society about plural marriage, it is not totally incomprehensible that she may not want to marry someone who plans to marry again. In earlier societies when the sunnah was loved, that may not have been necessary to disclose since it most likely was understood but now that the sunnah is hated, things are different.

But my attitude will always be the same, either it is the sunnah way or the highway.

One last thing! Whether it be plural marriage, jihad, slavery, punishment for apostasy, punishment for adultery, hijab or any other Islamic matter people tend to feel dislike toward in Islam, we should be really careful lest this ayah should become applicable to us and all our deeds be lost.

"That is because they hate that which Allâh has sent down (this Qur'ân and Islâmic laws, etc.), so He has made their deeds fruitless." (Surah Muhammad, Verse 9)

I LOVE THE SUNNAH

YYEAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

Thanks for the guidance sister. I guess I may not be getting married after all.

I hate this!!!

on February 12, 2006 9:35 PM
saima said

IMHO = In my humble opinion

Br. Faisal --- what happens if your wife objects to you getting another wife? It's a Sunnah, I understand, to have multiple wives. However, won't you be held responsible for making your wife unhappy? whereas you won't be held responsible for not fulfilling this Sunnah?

Are guys to follow this sunnah if it were to cause problems b/w them and their existing spouses? (don't anyone start talking about figures in Saudi Arabia plz. Some of what goes on there is highly un-islamic)

I'll admit I'm not Emaan loving enough to be able to tell my husband to go ahead and get another wife, should he ever choose to do so. However, it was my understanding (may have been cultural hogwash) that although such an act (polygamy) is allowed in islam, it's not recommended if it may cause tension between the husband and his current wife.

Before I end this post, I'd like to say I'm not attacking, and hopefully offending, br. faisal. But am curious and would like to hear his answers to my questions. However, if the curiousity causes/starts inappropriate discussion on this site, I apologize in advance, and plz remove this post.

on February 13, 2006 12:14 AM
Faisal Akhtar said

I have already responded to most of your concerns in my response to sister Reader's comment above.

If she does object and if it is something that is likely to be of so much concern to her that she might refuse marriage to me if I were to tell her and there is nothing preventing me from telling her and I have reasonable knowledge of her said reservations beforehand, then I have to tell her. This doesn't just have to apply to plural marriage. It could apply to other things like physical defects or plans for the future. In short, if it is reasonable to assume that it is likely to affect her decision about the marriage, she should know about it.

We need to get some definitions straight before we move on. A sunnah is anything that the messenger of Allah did. There are obligatory sunnahs (Salah, Zakah, Siyam, Hajj etc) recommendatory but not obligatory sunnahs (Witr prayer, Marriage etc) and mustahab sunnahs (Qiyam ul layl, Plural marriage etc). These can differ in importance according to circumstance. An obligatory sunnah may not remain so (Hajj if you don’t have enough money, Salah if you are menstruating etc) or a recommendatory sunnah may become obligatory (Marriage if one fears Zina, Hijrah if one is unable to practice his religion etc) or a mustahab sunnah may become recommended (Plural marriage if one is able to support a widow and her orphaned children etc) so on and so forth.

Plural marriage as all Muslims know is about more than just bedding alot of women. It is about strengthning bonds of kinship, supporting relatives of Mujahideen and supporting orphans, strengthning Islam by forming alliances, having lots of children to give strength and support to the ummah. The usual criticism of plural marriage being about se*x is yet another indication of a western obsession.

“It's a Sunnah, I understand, to have multiple wives. However, won't you be held responsible for making your wife unhappy? whereas you won't be held responsible for not fulfilling this Sunnah?”

You are right, plural marriage is mustahab but not obligatory. If someone doesn’t do it, it is not a sin on him but if he does it, he gets rewarded. Now coming back to the wife being unhappy, why is she so? What is it about this sunnah that women find so odious? Need I remind everyone,

"That is because they hate that which Allâh has sent down (this Qur'ân and Islâmic laws, etc.), so He has made their deeds fruitless." (Surah Muhammad, Verse 9)

If a woman finds intolerable something that Allah has made halal, she really has to fear Allah and make tawbah.

“Are guys to follow this sunnah if it were to cause problems b/w them and their existing spouses? (don't anyone start talking about figures in Saudi Arabia plz. Some of what goes on there is highly un-islamic)”

Again this is not a sunnah that has to be followed, but if it is followed, women really should not feel hatred for it lest their deeds become fruitless. I’ll be blunt sister, your position on polygamy does sound like cultural brainwashing.

“Before I end this post, I'd like to say I'm not attacking, and hopefully offending, br. faisal. But am curious and would like to hear his answers to my questions. However, if the curiousity causes/starts inappropriate discussion on this site, I apologize in advance, and plz remove this post.”

Out of a sense of political correctness, some people withhold sincere advice to fellow Muslims when withholding sincere advice when it can benefit a Muslim is treachery towards him. You have not offended me sister nor attacked me and I hope you feel the same way about my reply to you as it is not intended to offend or attack but to correct.

on February 13, 2006 1:18 AM
Justoju said

Wow, so much stuff going on in this thread...


- "I don't know what you're attempting to prove with this, but mistakes in ijtihaad aren't reasons to boycott a scholar."

MashaAllah, its about time someone said that. Its amazing how many scholars I have seen boycotted due to a few opinions that others didnt agree with. Aoodhobillah.

- This is cool (though half of you prolly wont even bother reading it ;) )

Clash of the Uncivilized: Insights on the Cartoon Controversy
By Imam Zaid Shakir
Source:http://www.zaytuna.org/articleDetails.asp?articleID=92#_ftn2

- "As for the ruling prohibiting marriages between Arabs and non-Arabs, this is in Reliance of the Traveller (p. 523, Book M: Marriage, m4.2) as well."

When quoting Ahmad ibn Naqib al-Misri's (d. 769/1368) 'Reliance of the Traveller' (a classic manual of Shafii fiqh), please quote the remainder of the relevant points in order to avoid confusion.

On the same page that you listed (523), under the heading of 'A Suitable Match (Kafa'a)', it starts out with the following note:

"The definition of a 'suitable match' should not be misunderstood as a recommendation for whom to marry. It is merely a legal restriction to protect a woman's interests when the father or grandfather of a virgin marry her to someone without her consent (dis: m3.13, 15). As for when she wishes to marry someone who is not a suitable match, and her guardian has no objection, there is nothing wrong or offensive in her doing so."

- "how can a couple have fun the halal way?"

My husband saw that one, grinned like a 5-yr old, and said "She can make tea and cookies while he sleeps on his right side" (yes, I know, very endearing). I liked a bunch of Saima's suggestions. It got me thinking as to what my husband and I usually do for fun, and the answer that I came to was: we eat. I am sure there are other things we 'could' do together, but we usually dont have time. We take classes together, go to halaqas together, visit family together, and have our own separate activities/responsibilities on the side. Not much time left after that. Eating is always fun, and it has to be done anyway so you arent really wasting time by doing it in a fun way and in a fun place.

And yes, I know that we will both be fatsos one day (or as they say in pushto--makhatoo). But at least we'll have fun getting there.

- "Again this is not a sunnah that has to be followed, but if it is followed, women really should not feel hatred for it lest their deeds become fruitless. I’ll be blunt sister, your position on polygamy does sound like cultural brainwashing."

"If a woman finds intolerable something that Allah has made halal, she really has to fear Allah and make tawbah."

Br. Faisal, its not about "hating" this sunnah or finding it "intolerable", but about spiritual readiness. Envy and jealousy are some of the hardest diseases to remove from one's heart and it takes a great deal of spiritual mujahida to deal with them. Unless one has that kind of strength, these diseases can consume one and possibly lead to depression, suicide, or even murder. They can ruin ones life. Not all women are strong enough to deal with the envy and jealousy that occurs in a polygamous situation.

I think it would be definitely wise to alert your future wife of your plans in advance before marriage. You might end up losing a fiance but at the same time at least you'll be able to sleep in peace knowing that you didnt impose polygamy on a wife who wasnt spiritually ready for it yet, and who would thus suffer because of her unreadiness. BELIEVE ME, THIS IS ONE OF THE THINGS WOMEN WANT TO KNOW BEFORE MARRIAGE! Think about it, even the wives of the Prophet (may Allah bless him and give him peace) who were the best muslimahs ever to have existed and were the most spiritually capable of dealing with polygamy, occasionally felt jealousy and quarrelled. Each one wanted to be the favorite. Thats human nature. Now if the mothers of the believers had difficulty dealing with it sometimes (in a time when polygamy was the norm), do you really think a 21st century pakistani girl with pakistani expectations of marriage is going to be able to handle it?

InshaAllah, I hope for both your sakes that she can handle it and that her reply to you is that she is ok with it, but you should at least let her know and ask her if she is still ok with marrying you. The last thing you want to do is to get married, have kids, deeply hurt the mother of your children, cause dysfunction in the home, and end up having a bunch of dysfunctional children who will hate you and Islam for making their mother cry.

Children dont understand arguments for and against polygamy. They only understand their mothers hugs, her smiles, and her tears.

Be careful because this wont just affect you and your wife, but also another generation.

I know you and I have our differences, but I sincerely hope that all works well for you inshaAllah. You arent in an easy position.

on February 13, 2006 8:20 AM
Faisal Akhtar said

I spoke to my sisters last night about whether they would consider marrying someone who plans to get married again. After I quashed the usual "This is the 21st century" argument, my sister just came out and said "I don't want to share my husband". What I realized is she wasn't saying so because she hates the sunnah, but she has certain dreams and a woman’s dreams are very dear to her. Perhaps some of those dreams will remain unrealized if she were to get a co-wife. Plural marriage doesn’t just mean having two wives, it means having two homes, two budgets, and two distinct relationships. Although the Messenger of Allah has made clear that each woman will only get that much rizq which is destined for her.

Bukhari, Volume 8, Book 77, Number 598:
Narrated Abu Huraira:

Allah's Apostle said, "No woman should ask for the divorce of her sister so as to take her place, but she should marry the man (without compelling him to divorce his other wife), for she will have nothing but what Allah has written for her."

If she still does not want to be in a plural marriage (although it makes no difference), then for the sake of harmony and future well being of the family her right to such knowledge that her husband wants to marry again beforehand does trump the right of the husband to have multiple wives.

Now, I have one of two choices 1) Give up the idea of marrying again in which case I really don’t have to tell my fiancé anything or 2) Stick it out, tell her and risk getting my engagement broken.

Both choices are difficult. Both entail potential loss of something I hold dear to my heart (my fiancé and the sunnah of my messenger)

I hate this!!!

on February 13, 2006 10:47 AM
asef said

salaam:

pardon my interruption...

if a man is so qued up on the polygamy issue (prior to having being married even once before) than his opinion on this matter should be taken with grain of salt....

I know what RasulAllah (sal-lal-la-hu-wa-sal-lam) did when he was young man of 25 and married our mother Khadeeja (radi-Allahu-Anha)...he never had any other wives even after he became prophet, and they were an awesome couple, filled with love, respect, adoration, support and fullfilemnt as couples...Alhamdulillah.

We tend to forget that to hurt a human being (especially a muslim) is one of the worst thing we muslim can do...we talk about sunnah this and sunnah that...but did RasulAllah (sal-lal-la-hu-wa-sal-lam) ever in his life ended up hurting or abusing someone, be it emotional, physical and or spiritual anguish to another individual...never!

As far as I am concerned...if a man cannot make one wife happy and content with him as her husband, then he has no business talking about multiple wives...

Ma'Assalaama

on February 13, 2006 11:13 AM
Justoju said

How bout you try exploring other sunnahs in the meantime, like cupping, or archery or mending your own clothes or something.

And your sisters are right about the sharing bit. I only get a little bit of time with my husband everyday and when I think of having to divide that time by 2, 3, or 4, the thought just breaks my heart.

Polygamy wouldnt pose much of a problem in a society where men and women werent raised to think of their spouses as their best friends and confidantes. Perhaps it would be easier if they had a simple view of marriage as a contractual business agreement in which the issue of friendship didnt play a part. Once you start thinking of your husband as your best friend, and of yourself as his best friend, its a whole other ballgame. Right now my husband says that I am his best friend and that I am the one who he turns to for comfort and solace...I cant imagine how much it would hurt to realize that he got along better with some other woman or preferred her company to mine.

See, women dont have problems with polygamy just because they would be sharing his wages. It isnt just about money or living space--its about emotional attachment and commitment. Its an emotional betrayal.

We restrain ourselves from attracting other men, and we safeguard our husband's property and honor, and we make him our greatest priority (after deen) in the hopes that he will think that he has the best and most special woman in the whole world. We NEED our husbands to make us feel 'special' and give us attention because we arent allowed to get that feeling from anyone else. We cant feel special if he has other wives who he gives the same things to that he gives us.

The concept of marriage is somewhat different in today's society. Today's woman doesnt trade s*ex for security the way many women in the past did--society tells us that we can get an equal education and go out and get jobs and earn our own living--today we trade s*ex for undivided attention, love, and unparallelled adoration. This is a fundamental expectation of every woman in todays world (including the desi world judging from our dramas and movies and songs and such mindless crap).

And yes, many women (like your sisters) might have too much hayaa to say this but it IS also about bedroom relations. In fact, it is VERY MUCH about bedroom relations. It HURTS to think of your husband getting it on with another woman. It HURTS to wonder who he likes better. It HURTS to wonder who he thinks is prettier. It HURTS to wonder who he fantasizes about more. It HURTS to wonder whether your husband is thinking of someone else while they are with you. It HURTS to be compared. It hurts to have him come to your house smelling like another woman's perfume. These things HURT!

So dont think that women just dont like polygamy because we are worried about sharing our husbands bank balance. Its deeper than that.

on February 13, 2006 11:51 AM
gillette said

"So dont think that women just dont like polygamy because we are worried about sharing our husbands bank balance. Its deeper than that."

I hardly think that Brother Faisal thinks that women don't like polygamy because of the reason you mentioned, at least from what I know of him.

Some food for thought:

All the Prophet's wives were old (and divorced or widowed), except for 'Aisha. It's also well-known that the Prophet frequently expressed his love for her over the others.

I met a brother who had two wives, and he mentioned something interesting (in light of what I mentioned previously) - his older wife was more open to forgoing her rights for the sake of letting the brother fulfill the needs of the younger one.

What Sister Justoju mentioned, the natural jealousy that a woman would feel if her husband had a second wife, is it related to a woman's age/life experience?

on February 13, 2006 12:09 PM
Justoju said

You know, we often hear the observations of polygamous men, but I have yet to hear the views of the women involved in polygamous marriages. How do they feel? What do they think? What is the adjustment process for them like? It would be great if we could hear their side. Anyone know of any co-wife resources or anything?

on February 13, 2006 12:28 PM
gillette said

Abu Ya'la narrated a quotation from 'Aisha:

The jealous women don't know the lowest point of a mountain from its peak.

http://hadith.al-islam.com/Display/Display.asp?Doc=0&Rec=7797

on February 13, 2006 3:17 PM
Rami said

Asalaam Aleikum Warahmatullah Wabarakatu,

A few things.

1)"Are guys to follow this sunnah if it were to cause problems b/w them and their existing spouses?"

If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice. (Surat Al-Nisa 4:3)


2) All the Prophet's wives were old (and divorced or widowed),

-Divorced and widowed yes, Old...No.

*Safiyyah (Radia Allahu Anha) was 17 years old when he (peace be upon him) married her.

*Hafsa (Radia Allahu anha) was about 20 years old

*Maria (Radia Allahu Anha), although her age is not really known, was a gift fromt the ruler of Egypt. So who's going to give a woman as a gift (especially a ruler) if she wasn;t beautiful.

* Zaynab (Radia Allahu Anha) was 35 years old, a fry cry away from being old.


3) I need some clarification from Faisal. Do you plan on marrying orphans/widows/divorcees from bad marriages? This I could see as being noble and mustahabb. I think this would clarify a bit if you were doing it for this reason.

4) The Mothers of the Believers did indeed get very jealous of each other, and said some bad things about one another (obviulsy not to the extent that we say bad things), and even got Rasullulah so mad froma trick they did out of Jealousy that he did not sleep in his houses for an entire month. So I wouldn;t tell the women that their jealousy or dislike of being a co-wife is from lack of Eman, because the women with the highest Eman who we use as an example also got jealous.

5) Also, you must differentiate between a women's Eman when talking about this because there isa a difference between content and desire. Obviously almost no women is going to desire her love to be shared by another woman (As you wouldn;t want to share your wife). But Eman can only be put into question if her content (Ridda) with what her husband has done (if he does so justly and fairly) and what Allah (subhanna wa taala) has given her is not there.

on February 13, 2006 5:23 PM
Faisal Akhtar said

We see destitute women outside of mosques in Pakistan, in America and all over the world. Due to their limited means, they are unable to feed themselves or their families. Due to their lack of companionship, some turn to prostitution as a means of satisfying their desires and to have an income. My questions to the men and women of this ummah is this, why doesn't a young man who is wealthy marry one of them to provide for her a home, food for her children and earn all the rewards associated with taking care of raising orphans? There are very few real men left in this ummah who are willing to stand up for and support widows and orphans.

I thought I had made it abundantly clear that the reason I wanted to get married again was for my akhirah but nobody seems to understand. I don't see how my young, beautiful and educated wife could possibly feel threatened by an old, uneducated destitue cowife with 5 kids from another marriage but somehow, no matter what the situation, women are just jealous of a co-wife and find the situation unbearable. I am supremely disappointed by the responses I have recieved from my own sisters and from the hidaya public. Nobody wants to see the plight of the widows and oprhans. Such people should fear Allah lest Allah chooses to test them with the same.

There are other good reason for marrying again. Strenghtning the ties of kinship and friendship is one. Forming alliances and breaking cultural barriers between Muslims is another. The aversion people feel toward the sunnah of plural marriage, I just find sickening.

on February 13, 2006 7:44 PM
asef said

Salaam:

Br. Faisal: You have NOW made it "abundantly" clear why you were looking into plural marriage...meaning your intentions for polygamy.

Which is kind of cool!...Because I cant think of such lofty intentions & endeavors, but you certainly can...and may Allah help you in this..Insha'Allah wa Ameen!

See, the jealousy part of a woman or man kicks in instinctivly if their spouse is even mildly interested in another individual....so lets just take this as a fact and not dwell on it. You cant expect this to go away, no matter how "religious" the person is...its part of what defines us as humans.

But, since you are actually trying to be an example for us dead-beats, then I would suggest you consider the following:

1- Tell your parents that you want to do plural marriage (and not just one marriage) for the sake of Allah and to uphold the Sunnah, insha'Allah.

2- Break your engagement with your Fiance, and let her get married to someone who does not have as lofty intentions as yours.

3- Start looking for sisters who are widowed and have Orphans, preferably in the same area/vivinity/city. You are aware of the balancing act required between multiple wives as this will now be fardh on you.

4- And may Allah make you leader of our Ummah and be father of leaders of our Ummah...and may your intentions/actions be an example for all of us fellow bretheren...Ameen


I am not being sarcastic, please dont consider this as such...I am just relating that I cannot do what i just related above...this is beyond me, as I cant make my parents unhappy...nothing is worse than that, except committing Shirk!

So, as far as I am concerned, I probably am only able to fulfil the Sunnah of marriage as the marriage of RasulAllah (sal-lal-la-hu-wa-sal-lam) to that with Khadijah (radi-Allahu-anha) which was...to be happily married to one individual....and may Allah accept this from me...Ameen

Ma'Assalaama

on February 13, 2006 8:34 PM
Rami said

Asalaam Aleikum Warahmatullah Wabarakatu,


"Br. Faisal: You have NOW made it "abundantly" clear why you were looking into plural marriage.."

I agree, You didn't state this clearly before. You didn't mention anything about orphans or widows, just that you wanted to marry for the sunnah. I suggest, when bringing this up to your fiance or family, that you bring this point up first (that you want to help people, not that you just want another wife)

on February 13, 2006 8:50 PM
asef said

salaam:

"I hate this world! I would rather not be here where my Messenger’s sunnah is despised so!"

I believe you are correct in saying that any place is worthless, if RasulAllah's (sal-la-la-hu-wa-sal-lam) sunnah is being ignored and despised in such place. Yet, Allah chose us to be in this time and age, obviously, because of HIS divine wisdom. And so it is for you and me, and all muslims of our time to uphold and revive the Sunnah of RasulAllah (sal-la-la-hu-wa-sal-lam), step-by-step, one-by-one to the best of our ability, only to please Allah (subhanu-wata'aalah)...Ameen

"On yaumul Qiyamah, Wallahi I will not forgive those who innovated in my deen, I will not forgive those who kept me away from the sunnah of my beloved."

Correction, its not your Deen...its Allah's Deen!

And Allah knows Best who innovated in HIS Deen, and distorted the Sunnah of RasulAllah (sal-lal-la-hu-wa-sal-lam) and so on the day of Judgement, the Forgiveness is HIS to give if HE so wishes and If HE doesn't, then there is NO punishment furious than the wrath of ALLAH...Just a brotherly advice...nobody is keeping you away from implementing the Sunnah of RasulAllah (sal-lal-la-hu-wa-sal-lam) and dont blame others for your inability to do so.

"I will demand justice and Allah is the most just."
Indeed, ALLAH is the Best Judge of our intentions and actions and will provide justice based on what we earned in this life.

Ma'Assalaama

on February 13, 2006 10:12 PM
reader said

Just a comment/rhetorical question, no need to answer it, it is a personal reflection, and by no means is this an attempt to belittle the sunnah of polygyny.

Do those who are so adament about fullfilling the sunnah of polygyny, feel the same way about every other sunnah? do they strive, as Sr. Justoju pointed out to fullfill others such as: "cupping, or archery or mending your own clothes," the list goes on and on. This not to say do not practice polygyny, but sometimes I feel some of the men of our ummah promote this sunnah as if its one of a few, handful of things they can do to be more like Rasul Allah Sal Allahu Alayhi Wa Salaam.

And Allah Aza Wa Jal Knows best.

on February 13, 2006 11:57 PM
Justoju said

"I don't see how my young, beautiful and educated wife could possibly feel threatened by an old, uneducated destitue cowife with 5 kids from another marriage but somehow, no matter what the situation, women are just jealous of a co-wife and find the situation unbearable."

Actually if more polygamous relationships were as you described--with the SECOND wife being "an old, uneducated destitue cowife with 5 kids from another marriage"--then there would be few women who would object.

The problem is that these days MOST polygamous marriages are quite the opposite where an aging first wife feels REPLACED by a younger, more beautiful second wife. She feels like she was used when she was in her youth and prime, and now that she was starting to get a bit older and her looks were fading, the man she gave her everything to (not to mention whose children she bore and destroyed her figure and health for) wanted to replace her with some pretty little airhead the age of their daughters.

on February 14, 2006 3:46 AM
Justoju said

"I can always help the needy by being generous towards them but I don't necessarily have to marry them."

Exactly. You could even help arrange and pay for their marriages to other suitable men. That way you get your reward, and she has a husband--not to mention, your own family life wont be disturbed.

on February 14, 2006 3:51 AM
Justoju said

"I probably am only able to fulfil the Sunnah of marriage as the marriage of RasulAllah (sal-lal-la-hu-wa-sal-lam) to that with Khadijah (radi-Allahu-anha) which was...to be happily married to one individual."

Its interesting how when people wish to follow the Rasul's sunnah (may Allah bless him and give him peace) they assume that polygamy was his sunnah while monogamy wasnt. In truth though, they were both EQUALLY his sunnah, because he did both and was happy with both. Its not like the sunnah of monogamy was abrogated once the sunnah for polygamy came along.

Its pretty cool how you could practice either monogamy or polygamy, but if you do it with the INTENTION of being like him (may Allah bless him and give him peace), then you get reward for following his sunnah.

Ya gotta love this deen.

on February 14, 2006 9:08 AM
Ibtisam said

Assalaamu Alaikum,
wow, so much in these articles and so much in these threads, subhanallaah hil adheem.

Okay, my fifty cents, dollar, yatta yatta:

Alhamdulillaah, I got married overseas in Pakistan. On the marriage contract in English and Urdu, it says whether the wife would agree or not agree to her husband getting married again. Problem there is adults CONTROL everything(I mean elder than you, you are treated essentially like a kid)or at least in my case.

You can probably ask your sister, if your wife would like to discuss this issue, in this case if she puts in a pre-nuptial, brother you would have to abide by that.
Alhamdulillaah,I am not so it didnt matter to me much taht I was not give the opportunity to engage in the processes of my own marriage contract, but yet your wife can(if she is given enough freedom, hehe).

Secondly, your husband can still be your friend, confidante, despite having another wife, that is b.s what was said earlier. Marriages today are meant to be the same as marriages in the past. Yes, primary role of the woman is pleasing her husband in exchange for clothing, shelter, etc

Thirdly, if your wife puts in a pre-nuptial that you may not take another wife if you enter into the 'aqd with her then, if you do thereafter take another wife, the contract would be annuled automatically with her(from what I have read/understood, please check).

Lastly, muslims have given up certain fundamentals of islaam, for that reasons vis a vis, slavery is a problem.

In addition, I would like to know the fatwa as well given by Shaykh Fowzaan(very wise response Br. Talaal).

I know that on Bakkah.net or on the fataawa given by students of knowledge or scholars at Ummul Quraa or Madinah University, I remember reading specifically that there is nothing wrong with an Arab woman marry a non-Arab man, a hashemite marrying a non-hashemite, etc. I specifically read that. let me post it for you guys.
Indeed, it also depends on what or how Arab is defined(ref to Ibn Taymiyya, Arab can mean Muslim, all muslims, even non-arabic speaking muslims).
Also, we follow the Qur'aan and the Sunnah, so if one scholar says something that it is not heavily supported with Qur'aan, Sunnah, the sahaabah actions(and also as Br. Talaal mentioned that it could be due to circumstances, by the way, I loved that answer, walhamdulillaah, may Allaah reward you).

Fayruz Ad-Dilani RA was a mixed decent sahaabi of persian and yemeni roots.

Who did Salmaan Al-Farsii, Bilaal ibn Rabi' RAnhum
marry? if they lived in Madinah, they probably married Arab women.

In addition:

I was thinking about writing an article with respect to the Denmark cartoons insulting our Noble Prophet SAW.
Br. Hassan, great job, may Allaah reward you on the day of judgement.

on February 14, 2006 10:18 PM
Ibtisam said

Br. Faisal, I am not sure how or what to advise you, but breaking off your engagment would be a very swift and harsh thing to do.
EVERY Muslim woman should know her religion, she should not that polygamy is allowed AS IT was allowed in the previous religion
(INDEED it is still allowed in JUDAISM or in some sects).

Every woman (muslim or non-muslim, that marries a muslim man should know this), it is already declared in the Qur'aan open, the allowance, there is no need for any man to say I have the intention of marrying more than once
In fact, you dont even need your first wife's permission to get married again.

Yes women are hurt, that is very natural and this type of jealousy is normal
so long as it does not detract the women from doing justice.

on February 14, 2006 10:24 PM
gillette said

"Yes, primary role of the woman is pleasing her husband in exchange for clothing, shelter, etc," said Sister Ibtisam.

"How about pleasing her husband in exchange for pleasure in the next life?," said Gillette aka The Naïve Bachelor

on February 14, 2006 11:05 PM
Justoju said

""How about pleasing her husband in exchange for pleasure in the next life?," said Gillette aka The Naïve Bachelor"

At the end of the day, thats why the modern western ikhlaasified muslimah does it. Like I said earlier, EVEN IF ITS A FALSEHOOD, we are told by today's western society that we dont NEED men for clothing, shelter, security, etc. ("you've got jobs! You've got the police! You've got welfare!"), so if we strive to please him it is usually in exchange for other factors (which can be combined). Some prevailing ones are:

1) In exchange for tbe pleasure of Allah (for muslim women with the purest of ikhlaas. Very rare to find and the noblest of them all)

2) In exchange for tbe pleasure of outsiders (like parents, ones societal circle, to not transgress societal "norms", etc.. Very very very VERY common.)

3) In exchange for undivided attention, love, and unparallelled adoration. As I mentioned previously, "this is a fundamental expectation of almost every woman in todays world (including the desi world judging from our dramas and movies and songs and such mindless crap)". We hope and expect our husbands to adore us after marriage. Its basically a woman's desire for the outward manifestation of her own nafs-worship. (Almost universal with the exception of the super duper ikhlaasified muslimah who is so pure in her taqwa and love of Allah that she cares for neither creation's criticism nor its praise)

4) In exchange for bling (if shes a gold-digger by nature. Common. )

on February 15, 2006 9:14 AM
Faisal Akhtar said

Sister Ibtisam said

"Br. Faisal, I am not sure how or what to advise you, but breaking off your engagment would be a very swift and harsh thing to do.
EVERY Muslim woman should know her religion, she should not that polygamy is allowed AS IT was allowed in the previous religion
(INDEED it is still allowed in JUDAISM or in some sects).

Every woman (muslim or non-muslim, that marries a muslim man should know this), it is already declared in the Qur'aan open, the allowance, there is no need for any man to say I have the intention of marrying more than once
In fact, you dont even need your first wife's permission to get married again."

Now this is an interesting fiqh issue that I had to debate out with myself. I will try to explain my reasoning; you can get it checked with a scholar if you like.

The issue of full disclosure before marriage is a little complex but I will try my best to explain my reasoning. Scholars have held that before marriage, anything and everything that it is reasonable to assume that is likely to change a person mind about marriage should be disclosed before marriage. This includes issues such as children, place of residence, education, expenses etc.

In some cultures, the bride and the groom live with the groom’s parents after marriage and that has always been understood. So in such a case, it is not necessary to disclose that the place of residence will be with the parents. However, if it comes to the attention of the groom that his prospective bride wants a separate residence and she would reconsider marriage otherwise, then it is his responsibility to let her know that he plans to live with his parents after marriage and leave it up to her to decide. The rule becomes living with the parents and the exception becomes living independently. Although both the rule and the exception are halal options, if it comes to the attention of one party that the other party is likely to reconsider on account of the exception, then that has to be disclosed and dealt with before marriage. Another option would be for the groom to hide his intention and disclose it after nikah which would be dishonesty. Yet another option would be for the groom to give up his intention of living with his parents and decide on living independently. In such a case, there is no conflict and nothing needs to be disclosed.

Another case could be of a culture where the bride and groom move out when they get married. In such a case, maybe the groom really wants his parents to live with him after marriage. It maybe reasonable to assume that the prospective bride might reconsider marriage if she is informed of this. Therefore, it becomes the groom’s responsibility to inform her of this before marriage. Thus the rule becomes living independently and the exception becomes living with parents. Although both the rule and the exception are halal options, if it comes to the attention of one party that the other party is likely to reconsider on account of the exception, then that has to be disclosed and dealt with before marriage. Another option would be for the groom to hide his intention and disclose it after nikah which would be dishonesty. Yet snother option would be for the groom to give up his intention of living with his parents and decide on living independently. In such a case, there is no conflict and nothing needs to be disclosed.

This applies to other things as well. A situation could be that the groom really wants to marry a virgin and the bride is not, or the bride really wants to be an only wife but the groom is already married. Although both options are halal, the full disclosure principle still applies.

Now coming back to my situation; I am living in a culture where the norm is marrying once and plural marriage is the exception. I really want to marry again no doubt, but that is an exception, not the rule. Now is it reasonable to assume that on account of the exception, my fiancé is likely to change her mind about marrying me? I think it is because of the responses I have received from my own sisters and my sisters in Islam. You are the only one thus far Sister Ibtisam who has actually supported the idea. All other women I have talked to don’t like plural marriage. Although both the rule and the exception are halal option, in my situation I find it is reasonable to assume that the exception is likely to change my fiancé’s mind about marriage. Now I have one of three options; either fully disclose my intention, hide it or give it up. If I am to disclose my intention, the engagement will break which will cause a lot of pain to my parents, my aunts and uncles indeed my whole family as she is my cousin. If I don’t disclose my intention and keep it a secret and drop it like a bomb after my fiancé has lost her status as a virgin, then it seems to me that that is dishonesty. The only option I am left with is to give up my intention, thus removing the conflict thus removing any reason to let her know.

The sunnah of plural marriage is near and dear to my heart but so is the sunnah of being good to one’s parents, being good to ones spouse and being honest in ones dealings. In my situation, a mustahab sunnah (plural marriage) is coming in conflict with obligatory sunnahs thus I have no problem sacrificing one for the other. However, what I do not like is what created this conflict in sunnah to begin with. It is these cultural norms that people seem to hold so dear to their hearts. My patience with culture is decreasing every day.

Wasalam

on February 15, 2006 11:30 AM
asef said

Salaam:


"The sunnah of plural marriage is near and dear to my heart but so is the sunnah of being good to one’s parents, being good to ones spouse and being honest in ones dealings. In my situation, a mustahab sunnah (plural marriage) is coming in conflict with obligatory sunnahs thus I have no problem sacrificing one for the other"

Br. Faisal, masha'Allah, may Allah give you contentment and Happiness with the decision that you have made...and may this be a reason for elevation of your status in this life and in the hereafter...Ameen


"However, what I do not like is what created this conflict in sunnah to begin with. It is these cultural norms that people seem to hold so dear to their hearts. My patience with culture is decreasing every day."

AMEN to that Bro...I myself am wary of this conundrum (as most muslims are, especially in the west) of cultural Taboos and nuances eroding the Sunnah of RasulAllah (sal-lal-la-hu-wa-sal-lam)....

May Allah make it easier for all of us to practice HID Deen according to Sunnah of RasulAllah (sal-lal-la-hu-wa-sal-lam) to the best of our abilities, before our time is up!

Ma'Assalaama

on February 15, 2006 2:18 PM
Rami said

Asalaam Aleikum Warahmatullah Wabarakatu,

Akhee Faisal,

"You are the only one thus far Sister Ibtisam who has actually supported the idea. All other women I have talked to don’t like plural marriage.""


Br, the reason for this (I believe) is that you do not clearly state your intentions when bringing up the subject. Don't bring it up by just saying you want to marry multiple women to follow sunnah (as that is a very general term). Instead, state who you want to marry first (Widows, orphans, etc.), and THEN why you want to marry them, specifically, (the sunnah OF helping the needy, the sunnah of maryyign the widows, etc.)

As Sr. Justoju stated before, most cases of polygyny are not so noble. If you were to clear this up in the beginning I am sure you would find many people agreeing and in fact encouraging you.

Remember:

1st) Clear up any ambiguity of who your going to marry (A widow, etc, and not a hot 18 year old to replace your aging wife)

2nd) Be more specific about what aspect of the sunnah of polygyny you are carrying out (ie, the sunnah of helping those in need)

on February 15, 2006 9:53 PM
Faisal Akhtar said

For arguments sake, let us drop the reasons I stated above. What if the only reason I want to marry again is because it is allowed and I want two wives? Is that against the sunnah? I will go further, what if I were a 50 year old guy wanting to marry a 16 year old girl? Would that be acceptable? Or how about 54 year old man marrying a 9 year old girl? Is that noble in peoples eyes?

What if the only reason I want to marry again is because I want to? Does it become immoral then? What if I really am a 50 year old man looking to marry an 18 year old girl because my first wife is old and has lost her looks or unable to bear me anymore children? What if I am 50 year old man looking to marry a young woman just so I can lower my gaze and gaurd my modesty?

No matter what people's opinions are of the an old man marrying a young woman either for the sake of her beauty, her inteligence, or whatever else, it doesn't matter. If it is allowed in sharia, nobody has a right say it is immoral. Morality in Islam is not dictated by popular opinion.

on February 15, 2006 11:26 PM
asef said

salaam:

The response to the above questions are quiet obvious Br. Faisal (well, atleast to me).

There is no set age limit when it comes to marrying a male and a female (I am talking based on what is practiced in all cultures and norms we muslims find ourselves in)....yet, on the other hand, I have heard that the age of couples in Jannah will be similar, or close to each other...Allahu Aalim.

May Allah gather all of us in Jannah..Ameen

Well, here is something for y'all, I was talking to this Chechneyen brother at the MSA West Conference and he relayed that back in his town there was this young lady in her mid teens who got married to this man in his 50s, (this was arranged by the family)...initially, everyone had doubts, but now Alhamdulillah they are referred to as Romeo&Juliet among their friends and family...

...and so the moral of the story is that there is nothing immoral about an old(er) male/female marrying a young(er) female/male, respectively...Insha'Allah.

on February 16, 2006 3:29 AM
Justoju said

"If it is allowed in sharia, nobody has a right say it is immoral."

I feel like there are arguments being pursued here simply for the sake of pursuit of argument. Ok, lets recap:

1) NO ONE here said that it was immoral so no one needs to get all defensive about it. EVERYONE agrees that it is allowed in the sharia.

2) All that was being discussed was whether or not it was wise in br. Faisal's situation to move forward with his plans of dropping the polygamy bomb on his wife AFTER they were both married. That was the original and initial topic.

3) Horses were used in warfare during the Rasool's time (may Allah bless him and give him peace). It is thus a sunnah to ride into battle atop a horse. It is morally acceptable, noble, and there is nothing wrong with it. But considering that this is the age of tanks, helicopters, and F16s, is it WISE to go to battle on a horse if one has other options available to one? Prolly not.

Hopefully we all know what is allowed in the shariah and what isnt. We already know polygamy is allowed and agree that it is valid, so we dont bother disputing its place in the sharia or arguing its existence in the sharia. That would be pointless. NO muslim woman on this site will say to you that it is not permissable. And considering that there is ijma within the ulema on this issue it would be heretical to contradict it. What we ARE talking about is the wisdom of implementing that one sunnah in Br. FAISAL'S situation (because it could very well work quite smoothly in someone elses situation). We are talking about the ramifications it would have within a society thatis not wholly islamic (ie desi) and how those ramifications would affect him, his family, and his children. Thats all anyone is talking about. Right?

on February 16, 2006 7:28 AM
Ibtisam said

I am sorry,what do you mean by "westernized"
rather you should say All RELIGIOUS muslim women look to please Allaah with sincerity offcourse, it is the pleasure of Allaah.
Umm Sulaym was not a Western woman, wasnt she who had sabr when her child passed away and withheld that information from Talha RA?
Aisha RA was not a western woman
Fatima RA likewise
Maryam RA likewise

So say all religious women, not westernized iklaas women, etc.

on February 16, 2006 8:43 PM
Rami said

Asalaam Aleikum Warahmatullah Wabarakatu,

Br. Asef, just a correction, you cannot marry a woman until she reaches puberty.


Br Faisal, do not blame others butb lame yourself. No one is forcing you at gunpoint to marry anyone, and this is YOUR choice, and if you truly believed in what you were saying you wouldn't have gone so far in your engagement.

There are many things that I hope to do insha Allah and I want a wife who will support me in doing it (insha ALlah). This is why knowing her stance on these issues will be a big factor in making my decision insha Allah.

DO not blame anyone but yourself, please. I love you, and I know you to be a good person, but you are makin YOUR choice, and YOU've chosen someone WILLINGLY and knowign what you want.

Think of a brother who marries someone whom he knows doesn't fit with what he's tryig to achieve in the deen (a smoker, or a drinker, or she doesn't wear a hijab, or doesn't support him in going to salat in the masjid). Why then did he go through the entrie engagement process, and marry her, knowing all of this. Can he blame anyone else but himself?

No-one holds the burden of another person. And we will all be responsiible for the decisions we make. If you truly believed in your stance you would have not let anything come in your way (especially in the beginning, if you had the chance).

I wish you well in your marriage brother, and I pray insha Allah that you are truly happy and fruitful. But don;t look down on your wife or look at yourself as closer to the sunnah or on a different level than her becauase YOU decided that you didn;t want a polygymous marriage when you signed the marriage contract.


I have talked about this in another context (about complaing about what is in America when we have made the concious decision to live here) in one of my first articles:

http://www.hidayaonline.com/archives/000029.html
"Harry Potter and the American Muslims, Part 1"

"Now…to blame ourselves:

I read something very scary yesterday…and it was extremely profound. Surat Al-Nisa (The Women):

“When angels take the souls of those who die in sin against their souls. They say: “In what (plight) were ye?” They reply: “Weak and oppressed were we in the earth”. They say: “Was not the earth of Allah spacious enough for you to move yourselves away (from evil)?” Such men will find their abode in Hell – What an evil refuge!” (Qu’ran 4:97)

I don’t know about you but that sent chills up my back…thinking of all the things my eyes, ears, hands and feet will all account for me on the last day…and to not be able to say “I couldn’t help it…it was all around me.”

There is an excuse given…to those who are really oppressed and could not get away…

“Expect those who are (really) weak and oppresses – Men, women, and children who have no means in their power, nor can they find a way (to escape)” (Qu’ran 4:98).

Although I hardly expect that with all the things I’ve been blessed with: Money, a Passport, a Degree…that my excuse would be acceptable. Which is why in America, the Muslim is in a perpetual battle for his or her soul. "


on February 16, 2006 10:33 PM
Justoju said

"I am sorry,what do you mean by "westernized"
rather you should say All RELIGIOUS muslim women look to please Allaah with sincerity offcourse, it is the pleasure of Allaah.
Umm Sulaym was not a Western woman, wasnt she who had sabr when her child passed away and withheld that information from Talha RA?
Aisha RA was not a western woman
Fatima RA likewise
Maryam RA likewise
So say all religious women, not westernized iklaas women, etc. "

Omg you are sooo taking it out of context and not understanding the point of my argument. Please re-read what we were talking about.

Br. Gillette said : "How about pleasing her husband in exchange for pleasure in the next life?"

To which I said: "At the end of the day, thats why the modern western ikhlaasified muslimah does it. Like I said earlier, EVEN IF ITS A FALSEHOOD, we are told by society that we dont NEED men for clothing, shelter, security, etc. ("you've got jobs! You've got the police! You've got welfare!"), so if we strive to please him it is usually in exchange for other factors (some of which can be combined)."

1) Note that I didnt say 'westernized'. I said 'western'. They are two terribly different things.

2) Then I went on to list the incentives that a muslimah LIVING IN THE WEST could have for marriage.

3) Out of those incentives that a muslimah LIVING IN THE WEST could have, only the truly IKHLAASIFIED muslimah would be doing it for Allah.

4) The reason I keep putting emphasis on 'Living in the West' is to show that the population under examination and scrutiny is not 'muslim women' or 'muslim women of all time'. The population we are discussing are muslimahs living in the west.

5) I was in no way saying that non-western women of the past didnt have ikhlaas. That would be absurd and I thought that would be understood by everyone.

on February 17, 2006 8:56 AM
Justoju said

I am bored. Someone post some new article up so that I can comment on that.


on February 17, 2006 10:38 AM
asef said

Salaam:


******** J U M M A H --- M U B A R A K *******

Ok my dear brothers and sisters...may your actions be amply rewarded, may your relaxation be blessed, and may your conversation on Hidayaonline (to learn and impart knowledge and wisdom with each other) be a reason for your forgiveness and mercy from Allah in this life and in the hereafter...Ameen

Ma'Assalaama


on February 17, 2006 1:10 PM
Rami said

Asalaam Aleikum Warahmatullah Wabarakatu,

"I am bored. Someone post some new article up so that I can comment on that. "

Wait...aren't you a writer on this site?


:)

on February 17, 2006 6:32 PM
Justoju said

I got my husband to write me a note that says that I dont need to.

Maybe later when I uhh dont have all the responsibilities that I have now...yeah...thats it...

(Married people are excused from writing articles! This is great!)

on February 18, 2006 9:11 AM
asef said

Salaam:

(Married people are excused from writing articles! This is great!)

Hey, who made this rule? I think its a weak excuse!

By the way, all you married folks were supposed to assimilate your spouses to contribute on Hidayaonline as well...what happened with that plan.

Once, I am married, I will ask my wife (nicely) to contribute on Hidayaonline, insha'Allah.

on February 18, 2006 10:52 AM
Justoju said

I asked him nicely but he seems to think HidayaOnline can get quite obsessive and doesnt want to get sucked in.

Obsessive. Isnt that crazy? I mean just cuz HidayaOnline is the first thing I check every time I sign on (before my mail) and just cuz I like to comment on things ad nauseum and just cuz I like to re-read old articles and devote them and their comments to memory and just cuz I like to get the addresses of the writers and go through their trash he thinks I am being obsessive.

Hes the crazy one if you ask me.

on February 18, 2006 7:50 PM
asef said

Salaam:

Ukhti, say my sincerest salaam to your Hubby...by the way, I think he is the smarter one, if you ask me :)

May Allah Bless you both and may each day of your life be filled with sakeenah, rahmah and affection towards each other, and may you both be in Jannatul Firdaus with your family and loved ones...Ameen!

Ma'Assalaama

on February 19, 2006 12:28 AM
Ibtisam said

I like taking things out of context just to get you mad and then read your smart alecky response, good job girl.

I already re-read your stuff and got your points before you posted it. Now for more science oriented robotic readers like myself it is a lot clearer and I also agree with your husband that hidayaonline can be very very addictive.
Although, it is indeed very strange that a muslim woman living in the west(hehe westernized whether you like it or not, if you live in the west, sooner or later it can rub off you EVEN if you are religious, i mean the difference is wearing spagetti straps at home vs. salwar qamees or dishdashas)will listen to her husband with respect to mundane aspects of her life. You have been writing articles for a while and now your husband tells you not to and you are mashaa Allaah for the sake of Allaah listening to your husband(is that it?).

If it was me, I would tell my husband to get lost and learn more about islaam. I am gonna write articles. Nowadays, the biggest debate that I am having with my husband is with respect to niqaab. He says he doesnt like niqaab but he is not stopping me from wearing it or commanding me to take it off, and then he says there is no point wearing it in USA because a) my life might be in danger b) no one really stares at women as they do in muslim country.

I have tried dalaail but he is a little stubborn, argumentative,philosophical, so any smart alecky responses will be appreciated.
Note: I have the attituded of "screw you, I am not taking off my niqaab" but I want to win him over as well. My family has already been used to me wearing niqaab and all.

He follows mostly the hanafee madhab but since I am salafee and niqaab is sunnah mustahhab(I should have never told him that, although I did tell him in the hanafee madhab it is fardh), he says that I should not alienate myself so much from the people, etc.
I have been wearing niqaab for a while, I am not gonna take it off. It is not easy to wear niqaab and I have been doing it. I tell this guy that men want their women to wear niqaab and it is a shame that he doesnt want me to wear niqaab but I need stronger points. Please post.

on February 19, 2006 8:09 AM
gillette said

Does he appreciate the benefits of the Sunnah, in all its matters (the usool, the furoo', the faraa'id and waajibaat, the muharramaat, the makroohaat, and the nawaafil)?

on February 19, 2006 8:27 AM
asef said

Salaam:

Ukhti, May Allah be pleased with your intentions and bless your efforts...Ameen

Your situation is not unique, and this is rather a common debate in certain Islamic homes in our times, especially in the West.

But, before I suggest anything here, I have to say a big part of the Hikmah in any debate is to weigh the outcome (either way) and their repurcussions.

For instance (lets consider this analogy), My wife has a car which she loves, and I have one myself. However, I want to upgrade to a new car because my current car is not reliable.

My wife and I have agreed that we should upgrade to a new car, to be used mostly by me. Also, lets assume we dont have kids.

However, for what ever reason (mid-life crisis, or something) I want to get this high performance sports car with 6-speed stick shift (or manual) transmission.

My wife does not approve of this for several reasons, 1) she cant drive manual transmission, 2) and according to her reasoning, why do I need a high performance car when we can upgrade to a more family oriented vehicle for the same price?

Now, as I see it, she has her own car to drive and she never drove my car before (mostly because it was old & unreliable). So, I dont see why she has to bring this point of her driving my car and objection to Manual Transmission. Moreover, even if I have a sports car, that doesnt mean I am trying to be a young man or something and trying to impress others or be reckless on the road.

So, this is how I see it...on the other hand, she sees it differently.

For instance, she would like to have another car in the family which both can drive, especially, if there is a need for this in emergency, or if one car is at workshop. Secondly, having a sports car is not the best investement for the family in the next 3-5 years. Its best to spend it wisely on a SUV (hybrid ofcourse) or something that has "room for growth". Moreover, she may have safety concerns (on my behalf) that having a fast car may provoke me to drive at high speed and get myself in trouble!

Alright then...both have valid points...some of the points are more individualy driven, while others are beyond that

So, what would be the right decision here...remember, we are NOT looking for the Best decision, but rather the most appropriate decision here that will be beneficial for the "FAMILY" in the long run? Why do I say Family here because any individual-as part of a family or any social unit-must consider the impact of their decision on their family members.

If I was single, my decision would be clear cut, and I would already be driving my dream car...but in the case above, I am not single, and so my decision cannot be the same as it would impact my relationship with my wife.

So, I suggest this to you sister...if your Husband is not asking you do something clearly Haraam, then seek to reconcile, because Allah will be pleased with you and put Khair in your decision.

I personally know individuals, (sisters) who are Hafidah and used to do Niqaab, but to avoid confrontation within the family, they have set aside Niqaab for a while. And may Allah bless them for this sacrifice. But this hasn't stopped them from continuing their teaching Islaamic halaqas and Quran lessons to sisters in the mosque and what not...Alhamdulillah!

Ma'asalaama

on February 19, 2006 11:24 AM
Rami said

Asalaam Aleikum Warahmatullah Wabarakatu,

Br Asif,

Perhaps yould consider the Toyota Matrix XRS. BEcause it's a wagon, and is roomy, it will give you all the family features you are loooking for.

Yet, since it has a Celica engine (6-speed trans only!), it can also get some serious speed. Handling is good also.

It's a little pricey though.

on February 19, 2006 11:56 AM
Justoju said

"Although, it is indeed very strange that a muslim woman living in the west will listen to her husband with respect to mundane aspects of her life. You have been writing articles for a while and now your husband tells you not to and you are mashaa Allaah for the sake of Allaah listening to your husband(is that it?)."

Umm actually he never asked me not to write articles. He just thinks that my time could be used more productively--which he is prolly correct about since his idea of 'productivity' is my spending more time strengthening my arabic and islamic studies. He is right cuz I DO need to learn how to balance things instead of just being an obsessive Hidaya junkie. I am working on it. My support groups been helping and I no longer deny that I have a problem.

"i mean the difference is wearing spagetti straps at home vs. salwar qamees or dishdashas)"

Got me thinking about what we wear in the home. My husband and I tend to mix the two worlds. He wears malaysian dhotis/lungis with t-shirts while I wear kamizes (from my shalwar kamiz suits) with skirts. Apparently neither one of us is too big on wearing pants.

"although I did tell him in the hanafee madhab it is fardh"

Actually, its 'wajib' which is a somewhat different ruling than 'fardh' in terms of dala'il.

Was he told that you were a niqabi before he married you? If so, he should have no grounds for argument.

See niqab is one of those things that because there is a difference of opinion, you should try to weigh the pros and cons in your own personal situation and see what works best for you. A non-niqabi woman who is wearing a baggy shapeless abaya with a somber hijab is not sinning for not covering her face. But a niqaabi who displeases her husband or acts rudely to him IS in sin (and probably a bigger sin than the non-niqabi because while there is difference of opinion on the niqab issue, there is no difference of opinion on the issue of pleasing your husband and being respectful and obedient to him). I know you want to wear niqab so that you can avoid fitna outside the home, but is it that reasonable in your situation if its going to cause more fitna in the home? Weigh things out carefully.

Ok, now lets talk about how we can change your husband's mind regarding niqab. Some of what will ensue will seem unrelated to the issue of niqab, but it IS related to the issue of making your man have stronger character...which will eventually cause him to be more conducive to seeing the sense in, and adhering to the sunnah...

"I tell this guy that men want their women to wear niqaab and it is a shame that he doesnt want me to wear niqaab"

Definitely not the best approach because it puts his masculinity and 'world-view' on trial.

- First of all, I bet that the majority of men he knows (and respects) think the same way he does and so dont want their women to wear niqab. So there goes the whole 'men want their women to wear niqab' argument and you come out of it looking out of touch with 'reality'.

- Secondly, dont presume to know in front of him what men want and dont want. He is going to think it ridiculous that you think you know this area more than he does when you have never in fact been a man.

- Thirdly, never ever EVER compare your husband and his views/judgements to those of other men. Just dont. You wouldnt want it done to you and its begging for an ugly response from him (ie. WEEELLL, Other women do (insert thing he likes), why dont YOU do that for me huh!?). Furthermore, it makes you look ungrateful in his eyes and makes him feel like you dont accept him or his authority--which is just going to make him more adamant and inflexible because now he has to prove his 'manliness' to you.

"I have the attituded of "screw you, I am not taking off my niqaab"

Thats a fantastic attitude when it comes to things like hijab, long loose clothing, prayer, zakat, etc...but be careful when using that attitude regarding issues that are differred upon. It is a very westernized way of dealing with dispute ("my way or the highway") and usually doesnt win the male heart (unless he is a total wuss in which case you would be encouraging him to become an even GREATER wuss by making him bend his male will to yours).

Honey attracts more flies than vinegar. Use some psychology. Most husbands ARE very responsible and noble and respond to what the woman realistically NEEDS. Show him that you are a precious fragile jewel that NEEDS the protection of niqab. Show him that you NEED his male protection. Show him how wearing a niqab affects your akhlaq and makes you a better person and wife. Show him that you NEED his opinions and views. Most importantly, show him that you need HIM.

If you do the whole westernized woman thing and show him that you are an independent educated woman who can tell off anyone who messes with her, and that you dont NEED his masculinity, he wont be too concerned about protecting you. He wont feel needed. And considering that part of the definition of manliness is providing security and assistance, when he doesnt feel needed, he will BECOME less of a man. Thats right, he will decrease in his manliness.

Any average man can be made into a strong sunnah man by his wife. Any average man can be made into a warrior, a knight, a romantic, a noble protector of the weak. How? Because they ALL have the potential already in them. Its built-in. It just needs to be brought out and given the opportunity to be polished and used. Men have few opportunities today to act as the 'noble knightly protectors' because women dont give it to them. Many men dont even get a taste of what it feels like. They soon forget. But when you give that man that taste, that satisfaction that comes from being 'needed' by a grateful hopeful woman, you strengthen his desire and resolve to BE A MAN and to look after her.

Let him open the doors and carry the heavy stuff. Let him open the jars and put out the trash and do the house repairs. Go to him for advice and support. Let him deal with your tears. Tell him that he is your pillar of strength, that you wouldnt be able to survive without his noble and manly support. Admire and compliment his muscles, his facial hair, all those things that make him a MAN and not a woman. Encourage his noble goals and congratulate him for every little victory. Most of all, BE THANKFUL to him. Thank him for going to work for you, for making sacrifices for you, for taking on the burden of your responsibility. Thank him for every little thing he does. Thank him for being who he is: your MAN. Accept him and his ways. Dont constantly be trying to pursuade him of something (unless its a fardh in the deen) and let him feel like he is in charge of the relationship. Let him come closer to the deen by his own volition and desire--you will do more than enough by simply providing a good example.

These things make an average man with little backbone for implementing the sunnah into a strong fortress of a man who fights against all adversity to implement the sunnah. Remember, you dont want a pushover man who follows the deen because you made him do it, you want a warrior knight who strives to fulfill the sunnah because thats just what he was made to do.

What I have observed is that sometimes ya just gotta quiet down and let men be men...

on February 19, 2006 12:11 PM
gillette said

"...and then he says there is no point wearing it in USA because a) my life might be in danger"

Maybe your local Imam should make the call as to whether or not this is true. Or, you could consult other sisters who wear niqab.

"b) no one really stares at women as they do in muslim country."

?

"...he says that I should not alienate myself so much from the people, etc."

"For instance it is claimed that Niqab wearing women work against Da'wah as their 'strict' dress scares away potential interested non-Muslims

"My own limited experience has actually revealed the opposite to be the case. Whereas once most of my non-Muslim friends had no interest in Islam, at least now they wish to know more about our Glorious Faith, and a longtime acquaintances who was once extremely sceptical about all religions, is now preparing for her to take her Shahadah."

This was taken from an article, the link to which I couldn't post because it had g*eocities in it.

on February 19, 2006 12:38 PM
Justoju said

I think the whole issue of niqaabis being asked questions depends upon the context of the exposure that non-muslims have with her.

People ask questions when 1) they cant figure the person out, and 2) when the person seems approachable.

For a non-niqaabi who works or is in school and has non-muslim friends/coworkers/classmates, who then decides to put on niqab, she might end up doing some great dawah because the nonmuslims will have 'known' her before she put the niqab on, and they will feel comfortable enough with her to ask her questions post-niqab. They will ask questions because they will find that she does not easily fit into their stereotypes and they will find it difficult to 'figure her out'. It helps for these niqaabis to be assertive and strong and to not be shy in the face of questions. They need to maintain approachability. They need to have some amount of knowledge and the hikmah of how to present that knowledge. They basically need to be the types of people who break stereotypes. These people can do great dawah. The writer of the article that br. Gillette quoted seems to be in this category.

But then you have cases of shy quiet timid niqabis who actually reinforce nonmuslim stereotypes. Because they easily fit into the stereotype of the weak oppressed muslimah, no one bothers to speak to them or ask them questions; everyone thinks they have them figured out. And because they lack certain assertiveness and the nature to initiate conversation, they end up not sparking any interest or questions in the minds of the nonmuslims. This is quite sad because this poor niqaabi might have terrific akhlaq and is being a good modest muslimah...but unfortunately she gets easily stereotyped and dismissed.

Then you have the niqaabis who dont work or go to school and only emerge from the home for shopping and whatnot. I suppose the mere fact that people see them peacefully doing what they need to do is a good form of indirect dawah (they might still be thought of as oppressed but at least they will be considered peaceful), but thats the most amount of dawah they usually achieve since most people are too intimidated to start asking a stranger niqaabi questions.

Dont get me wrong, I am not opposed to niqab. I wear it non-stop in muslim countries (including my studies in jordan), to muslim conferences, and I think its amazing and beautiful and extremely liberating. I am not opposed to muslim women wearing niqab full-time in the west in front of nonmuslims. I am just trying to analyze which demographic groups benefit the most from niqaabis. Any further analysis or comments would be greatly appreciated.

on February 19, 2006 1:12 PM
gillette said

As far as I know, it's not haraam for a woman, niqaabi or non-niqaabi, to be outgoing among women. An outgoing woman can easily kill any ill-will towards someone.

on February 19, 2006 1:22 PM
Justoju said

From www.sunnipath.com

I Wear Niqab In the West And Have Never Had Any Problems, Must I Take It Off?

Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari

I have been wearing niqab for over a year and have never faced any threat or harm. I am not prepared to remove it as I feel some benefit from it. I don't remain in places I don't need to be for useless amounts of time (ex: the marketplace, a munaqaba looks ridiculous in an American shopping mall, or movie theaters which muhajabas can easily remain in without discomfort.) It is my internal weakness that is bothering me. Is there any advice you can provide for a sister who understands the suggestions of some teachers but sees no harm in covering her face in the area she lives?

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

Praise be to Allah, and may His peace and blessings shower upon our Beloved Messenger.


Dear sister,


First of all, may Allah reward you for your efforts to wear niqab. I know that this practice is difficult to maintain in the West.

I do concur with Sidi Faraz that many of the shuyukh, suggest that sisters not wear niqab in the West.

However, if you feel comfortable wearing it and have not experienced any harassment, then I don't see any reason why you cannot continue the practice.

There is a valid difference of opinion concerning niqab. Some scholars view it to be mandatory, citing evidence that the wives of the Prophet, peace be upon him, observed niqab. Other scholars note that a woman cannot cover her face while praying or in ihram, so therefore, it is not necessary.


What has been clearly established from the Qur'an and Sunna is that a pubescent woman should cover all but her face and hands in loose, opaque clothing. If by wearing niqab you are intending to worship Allah and to please Him by making your hijab as complete as possible, then there is no reason for you to have any internal misgivings. Just bear in mind that there is a sound argument for wearing niqab and an equally sound argument for not wearing one. We should respect both views. When you are in the company of sisters who disapprove of your wearing it, gently remind them that there is a valid difference of opinion about this. This is not an issue that we sisters should be squabbling about.


If a sister chooses to veil her face, alhamdulillah. If she chooses not to veil her face, alhamdulillah. What's important is that, like Sidi Faraz said, we work on achieving inner modesty and taqwa.


So continue to wear your niqab if you feel that it is appropriate for you.

May Allah make things easy for you.

And Allah knows best.


Umm Salah

on February 19, 2006 2:41 PM
asef said

Salaam:

"Asalaam Aleikum Warahmatullah Wabarakatu,

Br Asif,

Perhaps yould consider the Toyota Matrix XRS. BEcause it's a wagon, and is roomy, it will give you all the family features you are loooking for.

Yet, since it has a Celica engine (6-speed trans only!), it can also get some serious speed. Handling is good also.

It's a little pricey though."

Actually Br. Rami I already have the car that I was suggesting in my analogy earlier, here is a link for all you car buffs:

http://www.mitsucars.com/lancerevolution/index.html

You may or may not know about this car, but I am pretty sure that if I were married, my wife wouldn't let me buy this car...hehehehe...there are indeed some pros of being a single guy, after all...Alhamdulillah!

Ma'Assalaama

on February 19, 2006 4:13 PM
asef said

Salaam:

Sister Justoju, your comments from:

"Ok, now lets talk about how we can change your husband's mind regarding niqab....

TILL

What I have observed is that sometimes ya just gotta quiet down and let men be men..."


IS ONE GEM OF A COMMENT!!!!

THIS IS AWESOME, PLAIN & SIMPLE!

May Allah be Raadi with you in this life and in the hereafter...Ameen

Ma'Assalaama

on February 19, 2006 8:23 PM
seeker said

Assalamu alaikum,

Since the hidayaonline crew seems to specialize in incisive insights on marriage and marital life :0), I was wondering if anyone has any suggestions/comments for the following (not hypothetical) situation (hope y'all will bear through a long rant from an anonymous poster):

A very nice, responsible, respectful brother who seems to be committed to Islam and increasing his knowledge of the Deen seems to be very pleased at the prospect of marrying a certain sister. On the one hand, the sister fears being ungrateful to Allah (swt) by turning down an earnest Muslim and also really wants to make her parents happy and they happen to be totally in love with the brother and struck by the desi parent's ultimate fear that the clock is ticking faaast now.

On the other hand, she feels like everything she had conjured(perhaps foolishly and partly due to the silly romance-frenzy created by popular culture) about a "confidante and friend" who is emotionally and intellectually stimulating and desirable come crashing down. Also, while she is soo wary of harboring any arrogance as she is soo aware of her own completely meagre knowledge and understanding of and ability to practice Islam, it is apparent that the brother, while earnest in increasing his knowledge of the deen, is very elementary in his exposure and seems to have the attitude that "you can teach me."

Now this sister always assumed (again, perhaps foolishly) that it would be easy to fulfill the obligation to please, appreciate, respect, and obey her husband as she would WANT to do all that more than anything else (we modern Muslim women invest way too many of our hopes in marriage). She is trying to refocus her priorities on getting her fulfillment only from Allah and taking this as her special trial to be a devoted wife even if it doesn't come easy. But she also knows she's not strong and can so easily slip into being an unattentive, ungrateful, dour-faced bundle of gloom.

Any general comments would be welcome but also specifically on how far can we go to interpret teh "din and character" that is supposed to be the criterion for evaluating a suitor? And, of course, the sister is doing istikhara and asking for guidance from Allah(swt) ... but, after a point, you want some human input from someone who can relate to what you're trying to say (sister wouldn't even know how to explain all that to parents or said brother)

Jazak allah khair
(P.S. I guess you all realize 'she' was used because 'I' just seems too personal ... or perhaps you thought I have this crazy access to 'her' head?)

on February 20, 2006 1:19 AM
Justoju said

Omg, I wouldnt miss this even if I had to bloody swim from London to Ellis Island...
-------------------------------------


Assaalaamualaykum warahmatulahi wabarakatuhuh,

http://www.zaytuna.org/minarastudents.asp


Zaytuna Institute Presents:
"AGENDA TO CHANGE OUR CONDITION"
A two-day intensive workshop taught by
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March 18th & 19th, 2006
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ZAYTUNA MINARA PROGRAM

A symbol of assistance and hope, the minara (lighthouse) offers guidance for wayfarers of the world. With so many Muslims searching for knowledge while grappling with the arduous scheduling demands of the modern world, we proudly offer the Zaytuna Minara Program. This new program provides a concentrated educational format in which selected topics are taught in two, day-long sessions to facilitate the acquisition of knowledge. The Zaytuna Minara Program is open to all students, new and experienced, with no application required. All wayfarers are welcome.

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First published in 2001, this seminal text provides clear and effective guidance for rectifying our state as conscientious and productive Muslims.
With an emphasis on Taqwa (conscientiousness)and Ikhlas (sincerity), Agenda To Change Our Condition is an indispensable handbook for all Muslims striving for excellence in character and serves as the basis of the first installment of the Zaytuna Minara Program. Topics covered in this program include:
Practical Steps to Change Our Condition,
Taqwa: Its Definition and Its Benefits,
The Heart and Its Treatment,
Civic Involvement,
and a series of exercises for achieving Taqwa.

"...a truly spiritually uplifting experience... Practical steps were outlined, as well as exercises that anyone, from a new Muslim, to a scholar would find beneficial for their souls. " - Virginia Minara participant

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Location
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(Detailed directions with map available here soon)

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- Price includes a copy of "Agenda To Change Our Condition"
- Meals, accommodations, and transportation not included
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http://www.zaytuna.org/minarastudents.asp

on February 20, 2006 9:13 AM
gillette said

If anyone would like to offer "seeker" advice, please e-mail her, if that's even her real e-mail address. Otherwise, I'd advise against posting your responses on this thread: we aren't counselors.

on February 20, 2006 10:38 AM
saima said

Sister Seeker,

The email address doesn't seem like it's real, so I'll just advise you to tell 'her' to a) consult a scholar on this, and b) do an istikhara before making any decisions (we (hidaya team, if I may speak as one here) can provide a few names should you need them).

Also, make dua that may Allah make it easier for 'her' to follow the path He wants 'her' to take. I hope, in the end, the choice is easy & has barakah in it, Insha Allah.

BTW -- your alias is the one I used to use at hidaya, and for a sec. there I thought Br. Gillete was talking 'bout me :)

Good luck.

on February 20, 2006 10:54 AM
asef said

Salaam:

Sister Seeker; Yes, none of us are counselors, especially those who have never been married on this site!

I would, however, recommend you write directly to sister Justoju (you can find her email on this site) and Insha'Allah, she will have an advice or two that may bring Khair for you...Ameen.

Ma'Assalaama

on February 20, 2006 2:37 PM
gillette said

"BTW -- your alias is the one I used to use at hidaya, and for a sec. there I thought Br. Gillete was talking 'bout me :)"

http://www.hidayaonline.com/archives/cat_what_do_you_think.html

on February 20, 2006 3:23 PM
asef said

Salaam:

I seek some advice about "Henna on Hair"

Has someone on Hidayaonline tried putting Henna on their hair???

How effective is it? How often do I need to do this to get the reddish hue (I have dark hair now)? Is it semi-permanent or will it wash away like after two showers?
Also, what precautions should one take? Can I like put Henna overnight and sleep?
Is Henna supposed to be put all the way to the root of the hair or just on top?

In addition to above queries, any other recommendation for how to effectively color your hair with Henna?

I am excited like a small boy about implementing this sunnah, but i dont want to mess up my hair without proper application....therefore any suggestion will be greatly appreciated.

Ma'Assalaama

on February 21, 2006 12:26 AM
Ibtisam said

Assalaamu Alaikum all,

Jazaa kumullaahu khair to all those who replied. And great gem of advice sister J passed on, thanks a bunch for the excellent reply.
Alhamdulillaah, I didnt have to do much persuading and my husband accepted the niqaab. It is true, women should obey their husbands in things that are difference of opinions and should treat them with great respect, in shaa Allaah, all sisters should strive to do this.

on March 1, 2006 9:53 PM
Rami said

Asalaam Aleikum Warahmatullah wabarakatu,

Br.Asef,

The sunnah is only for applying henna to grey hairs. Have you become an old man?

on March 1, 2006 10:37 PM
writer#34 said

salaam:


Old Man...hehehehe...yeah, but without grey hair!
Alhamdulillah..

So are you suggesting one cannot have Henna on black hair?...explain...and do you know the technique?

Ma'Assalaama

on March 2, 2006 1:04 AM
writer#34 said

Salaam:

Lets continue to correspond on this thread, so that we can have 100 entries assigned to it...this will be long time since we last had a 100 comments topic.

Also, how is Hidayaonline blogging different than commenting on a forum? Or is it the same?

Ma'Assalaama

on March 2, 2006 12:29 PM
writer#34 said

Salaam:

Sister Ibtisaam: May Allah be MOST pleased with you, in this life and in the hereafter...and may you always be smiling & content, and your face be radiant with Noor-e-Imaan...Ameen!

Its always nice seeing you on hidayaonline and reading your articles...Alhamdulillah.
Hope you submit a new one soon, Insha'Allah!

Ma'Assalaama

on March 2, 2006 12:34 PM
writer#34 said

Salaam:

Ok, let me remind everyone what is missing on Hidayaonline....


Br. Talal...you owe us your next video episode and some sizzling story/episode

Br. Rami: The third part of Prophet Muhammad's (sal-lal-la-hu-wa-sal) Sermon and latest views on challeneges faced by young man in USA

Br. Hassan: Your convoluted story about the married restaurant owner and his wife

Sister Justoju: Your article on "after marriage" expeience

Sister Bint Saeed: Your summary on the FOL class or any latest experience

Sister Bint Khaliq: The Hidaya Globe-reporter has been missing in action for some time

and Sister Ibtisaam: You can write about anything you so wish...

Insha'Allah...

Ma'Assalaama

on March 5, 2006 2:32 AM
Ibtisaam said

Rather Br. Asef

Jazaa kullaahu khair, by the way and may Allaah make the same du'aa for you.

I think, you should write articles for us. Your wisdom for the global community would be much appreciated in shaa Allaah.

on March 6, 2006 2:00 PM
Ibtisaam said

I meant may Allaah's angels make the same du'aa for you.

on March 6, 2006 2:00 PM
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