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February 12, 2006
A man...

by Gillette aka Hassan[uddin] Khaja

The Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) was the man.

A man is different from a woman, no matter what [INSERT MUSLIM WHO HAS BEEN INFLUENCED BY NON-MUSLIM CULTURE HERE] tells you. They can't do the same things. Men can't get pregnant. Women can't impregnate people. If [SAME MUSLIM AS BEFORE] doesn't like it that way, then he can get a sex change.

A man is a protector and maintainer of women, because Allah has made him excel over the other, and because he spends on them.

A man is the boss.

A man knows his place.

A man knows the place of the ignoramuses.

A man loves to hear "Allah (Ta'ala) said" and "His Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said."

A man hates to hear "Shaykh So-and-so said."

There's a reason that all the Prophets and Messengers were men (alayhim as-salaam).

A man is not an oaf who's good for nothing except carrying boxes to and from women's cars before and after da'wah events.

A man strikes fear into the hearts of the devils.

A man exudes mercy among the believing men.

A man will tolerate no less than the Sunnah.

A man doesn't expect to practice the Sunnah without the Sunnah.

A man doesn't need bid'ah.

A man doesn't need the creation to call to the Sunnah. He needs The Creator.

A man inspires people because he worships Allah (Ta'ala) as though he sees Him, and longs to see His Face.

Abu Bakr was a real man.

'Umar was a real man.

'Uthman was a real man.

'Ali was a real man.

Talhah ibn 'Ubaydillah was a real man.

Az-Zubair ibn Al-Awwam was a real man.

Abdur-Rahman ibn Awf was a real man.

Sa'd ibn Abi Waqqas was a real man.

Sa'id ibn Zayd was a real man.

Abu 'Ubaydah ibn al-Jarrah was a real man.

A man doesn't need to be called an ameer to be one.

A man knows Islam isn't just a bunch of do's and don't's.

A man fears sin like he fears the fire.

A man rushes to, not through, prayer.

A man is a slave to Allah (Ta'ala), not a slave to women.

The only women a man needs to please are his mother and his wives (not necessarily all at once).

Yeah, that's right, I pluralized "wife."

That's what followers of the Sunnah call "polygamy."

Meaning, there isn't only one woman meant for every man.

A man doesn't need to exploit women to have fun.

A man exudes hayaa' at a safe distance from women.

A woman is only more active in da'wah because a man is busy paying her way.

A man's intellect is less affected by emotion than a woman's.

A man's intellect is more affected by women than a woman's intellect is affected by men.

A man doesn't have to greet a woman. He doesn't need to hear her greeting to know that she's his sister. He doesn't have to respond to show that he's her brother.

A man knows exactly why a woman shouldn't be a speaker in front of a group of men.

A man doesn't need to look at a woman to see beauty. He'll see Allah's (Ta'ala) Face later.

A man knows a beautiful wife couldn't hurt, though.

If a man can't lower his gaze around women who dress like they want his attention, it's their fault. If he doesn't think to leave such a situation, it's his fault.

A man will love this because it criticizes them. A woman will detest this because it criticizes them.


of and relating to...
Faisal Akhtar said

This whole piece was an O factor. My mouth is sore from saying O so many times.

The roof has caught fire with that piece.

on February 12, 2006 10:10 PM
Adbullah said

"A man loves to hear "Allah (Ta'ala) said" and "His Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said."

A man hates to hear "Shaykh So-and-so said."
"

I find it interesting that you say this. This theme seems to be repeating itself in various articles here.

Are you claiming that any ruling in shariah can be derived simply by quoting ahadith? Your statement seems to belittle the work of scholars who sometimes need to deal with complicated issues in which apparently conflicting ahadith exist. Deriving rulings in these issues often involves a detailed understading of the arabic languange, the customs of language at the time of the prophet, the authenticity of ahadith or a comparison to similar issues. So if a scholar has a fatwa with a complicated or lenghty explanation, then it would seem to make sense that the masses should refer to the scholar in that situation. Or are you implying that if a muslim male cannot give the entire lenghtly proof for that issue, then he is "not a man"?

on February 12, 2006 11:38 PM
saima said

2 things I don't understand ... plz elaborate:

1. A woman is only more active in da'wah because a man is busy paying her way. (did you mean paving her way? If not, well I don't get it then, could you explain a bit)?

2. A man hates to hear "Shaykh So-and-so said."

Aren't there many posts on this site from you backing your stmts/opinions by works (lectures/books) of Imam's/Sheikhs etc. ?

on February 13, 2006 12:24 AM
gillette said

I never really like coming out and saying things because 1) I'm not a scholar from whom one should be taking religious opinions from and 2) I'd rather stimulate thought, and let people learn on their own, because this seems like a more beneficial way of learning than coming to some website.

"Deriving rulings in these issues often involves a detailed understading of the arabic languange, the customs of language at the time of the prophet, the authenticity of ahadith or a comparison to similar issues."

I agree wholeheartedly, and I think this sums up the limited role of the scholar, in my opinion. I'm trying to make the point that, in the end, scholars make mistakes as well. Even if one were to bring a list scholars who hold one opinion, if their evidence isn't cited along with it, then it's merely an opinion.

"Or are you implying that if a muslim male cannot give the entire lenghtly proof for that issue, then he is 'not a man'?"

Ignorance is a reality, but I've never been able to believe that it's acceptable. This is because every action is rewarded according to its intention (according to the hadith of intention:

I heard Allah's Apostle saying, "The reward of deeds depends upon the intentions and every person will get the reward according to what he has intended. So whoever emigrated for worldly benefits or for a woman to marry, his emigration was for what he emigrated for.")

Part of good intentions is an attempt to perform an action according to the Qur'an and Sunnah. Of course, I defer to the scholars on the issues of Arabic language, as well as apparently conflicting ayaat and ahaadeeth. I'd explain this, but it's 12:30 AM.

"A woman is only more active in da'wah because a man is busy paying her way. (did you mean paving her way? If not, well I don't get it then, could you explain a bit)?"

The woman has no pressure, Islamically, to earn money. Men have that pressure, not only for themselves, but for the women under his care (mothers, wives, and daughters are the only ones I can think of off the top of my head).

on February 13, 2006 12:29 AM
Justoju said

"Even if one were to bring a list scholars who hold one opinion, if their evidence isn't cited along with it, then it's merely an opinion."

Question: What about cases where volumes upon volumes have been written (and are available in arabic) detailing the proofs behind an imam's positions, but, in order to simplify matters for the layman who often doesnt have the arabic, the background of usul, the concern, the time (or the dude is just plain lazy), only the position is presented to the common man. All the proofs exist in written form and the earnest seeker would only need to open up a book to go over them--given that he has the background to understand the language and the jargon. InshaAllah one day all reference books will be available in english, and all muslims will learn scholarly jargon, but until then, should one reject the end-products (the fatwas) of these machines simply because one (the non-scholar who would rather hook up his career and support his family than go off and study the essential foundations of scholarship) cannot easily read/understand the proofs?

on February 13, 2006 7:24 AM
Justoju said

"Aren't there many posts on this site from you backing your stmts/opinions by works (lectures/books) of Imam's/Sheikhs etc. ? "

I agree with Saima. Everyone keeps talking about only referencing Quran and Sunnah (the main theme of the past few articles), but sooo many people on this site use the names of Imams/Sheikhs/Ulema when giving scholarly positions. Peoples names are constantly used to prove validity of a position/view and to demonize and reject others. Its interesting how much implication and insinuation just referencing a name carries. So much goes without saying.

Its usually like "so and so said that it was right, and we believe he is a valid scholar, and so if you disagree with it then you are obviously not one of us--the ones on the sunnah who are bravely and single-handedly defending it against all odds from all the evils and innovations of the world. If you disagreed with it then it would show that you obviously dont care about the sunnah or about the Quran and Hadith as much as we do. Thus you would have to be one of the munafiqeen--at best. Thus you would have to be my enemy and I'd have to treat you like one, because if I didnt then I wouldnt be actively defending the sunnah."

All from a single name reference...

on February 13, 2006 7:40 AM
Adbullah said

"What about cases where volumes upon volumes have been written (and are available in arabic) detailing the proofs behind an imam's positions, but, in order to simplify matters for the layman who often doesnt have the arabic, the background of usul, the concern, the time (or the dude is just plain lazy), only the position is presented to the common man. All the proofs exist in written form and the earnest seeker would only need to open up a book to go over them--given that he has the background to understand the language and the jargon. "

My point exactly. It is kind of like using a theory in math or physics. You know that the proof exists, but every text book does not offer this proof. It simply presents the theory and shows how to apply it. If one had the understanding and time to understand the proof, then he can go ahead and find it in the appropriate book.

Similarly, Islamic scholarship takes years, if not a lifetime of study. It is not possible for everyone to know and understand the proof behind EVERY fatwa off the top of their head or by reading a few quran and ahadith, due to the depth of understanding that it may require. But the important thing is that the layman be aware that the proofs do exist in books. Not having these books at his fingertips does not invalidate his following of a fatwa.

on February 13, 2006 8:00 AM
Justoju said

"A man's intellect is less affected by emotion than a woman's."

Unless that emotion is anger or aggressiveness. Men have more testosterone than women which is why they tend to be more violent. Do a google search on it or something. Men and women are different, yes, but ya gotta admit we dont fly off the handle as much as ya'all do.

...that and we pay less for car insurance because we cause less accidents and have less road-rage.

The following is a great read on this subject:

Brain S*ex
The Real Differences Between Men & Women
by Anne Moir and David Jessel

Its really informative and goes into detail about the structural differences between men and womens brains and how they result in different strengths and weaknesses.

on February 13, 2006 8:44 AM
asef said

Salaam:

excellent points by the sisters here..masha'Allah.

on February 13, 2006 10:43 AM
asef said

Salaam Wa Tasleem on y'all:

Man, I am surely a Layman...as lay as they come...when it comes to Uloom-ul-fiqh/Quraan and all these religious sciences...as I am not a student of knowledge, and I probably never will be (based on all this that I have to hear from Salafis and otherwise...its so outlandishly boring)...pardon my pun!

If a non-muslim, who is interested in islaam, hears you guys yapping all this and that, he will run away & never to return back...What really irks me, is that you guys never seem to nip it in the bud...keep going round & round in cricles and end up exactly where you guys started like 1 year ago...you guys (salafis & non-salafis) will have a heated debate for a week or two, then it will calm down and then this discussion will raise its ugly head again after couple of months or so..its a recurrent trend, which shows stagnance in our techniques or approach.

I will get straight to the point; Non of you (and I mean everyone here) are qualified to even discuss these matters and opinions in details and yet both sides will defend some opinion like it is their own birth right...go figure!

Islaam is simple, Ahsan, and the middle way....and thats how I like it...Alhamdulillah.

RasulAllah (sal-lal-la-hu-wa-sal-lam) in his lifetime showed all there is to live our lives as muslims; his life was the BEST of example, (and the Deen was perfected while he was still among us muslimeen).

As far as the innovations are concerned, there are plenty of them, and most of them are rampant in muslims of today, especially when they have social and cultural background...by the way, I am not talking here about those groups who have convoluted the right aqeedah with theories and postulates about the real essence of uboodiyat to Allah; I mean the extreme leftist sufis who believe in weird stuff...I cant even relate to those stuff, so I wont even comment on it.

But I do relate to all the Shayookhs and Imams and the Ulemas of the past and present...they were/are all blessed folks and may Allah bless them all for whatever good they did that benefited and contributed to the Deen of Allah according to HIS pleasure and according to the Sunnah of RasulAllah (sal-lal-la-hu-wa-sal-lam).


I dont think in our life time, or in the life time of our children and their children, these issues will be sorted out...we muslims will keep on arguing on this as we have for a millenia...

but I hope and pray, that may the Muslims in West (especially in USA) be the beacon of hope and spiritual progress in this age and time so that the rest of the Ummah can benefit from us and relate more closely to Sunnah of RasulAllah (sal-lal-la-hu-wa-sal-lam) as it should be in the life of a Mu'mumin...Ameen

As always, your older brother who loves you for the sake of Allah...

Ma'Assalaama

on February 13, 2006 2:31 PM
gillette said

"raise its ugly head again"

You mean "rear its ugly head again."

on February 13, 2006 3:02 PM
asef said

Salaam:

"raise its ugly head again"

You mean "rear its ugly head again."


...touche, Akhi Hassan!


Ma'Assalaama

on February 13, 2006 4:14 PM
gillette said

The Difference Between Splitting (Iftiraaq) and Differing (Ikthilaaf)

Shaykh Naasir al-'Aql hafidhahullaah

Translated by Abu Abdis-Salaam

"Iftiraaq is the severest form of Ikhtilaaf; in fact it is [one of] the consequences of Ikhtilaaf. This is because sometimes Ikhtilaaf may reach the level of Iftiraaq and sometimes it may not, hence Iftiraaq is Ikhtilaaf and something extra. However, not every Ikhtilaaf is Iftiraaq and upon this is built the second difference..."

http://www.sunnahonline.com/ilm/aqeedah/0008.htm

on February 13, 2006 5:01 PM
Justoju said

That was a nice article. I just attended an aqeedah class on ikhtilaaf and its amazing how much benefit of the doubt you need to give the other person.

on February 14, 2006 3:25 AM
Justoju said

And Akhi Asef, thank you for your wise words.

on February 14, 2006 3:26 AM
gillette said

The uncensored history of Valentine's Day
By Matthew Sakey

Florists, chocolatiers and the makers of those heart-shaped candies stamped with kind words have made a fortune because of Valentine's Day. When we think of the holiday, we think of cards and romantic dinners.

In truth, the history of Valentine's Day is equal parts blood, violence, persecution and paper hearts filled with romantic words.

http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=1759

on February 14, 2006 10:15 AM
gillette said

Abd Allah ibn Umar said, 'The Prophet (saw) came to us and said, 'Oh Muhajireen, you may be afflicted by five things; God forbid that you should live to see them. If fornication should become widespread, you should realise that this has never happened without new diseases befalling the people which their forbears never suffered. If people should begin to cheat in weighing out goods, you should realise that this has never happened without drought and famine befalling the people, and their rulers oppressing them. If people should withhold zakat, you should realise that this has never happened without the rain being stopped from falling; and were it not for the animals' sake, it would never rain again. If people should break their covenant with Allah and His messenger, you should realise that it has never happened without Allah sending an enemy against them to take some of their possessions by force. If the leaders do not govern according to the Book of Allah, you should realise that this has never happened without Allah making them into groups and making them fight one another' [Saheeh Ibn Majah].

on February 14, 2006 11:00 AM
Justoju said

very powerful hadith

on February 14, 2006 11:15 AM
saima said

Did anyone here attend the Fiqh of Love Seminar with Sh. Yaser Birjas?

on February 14, 2006 10:03 PM
asef said

Salaam:

"Did anyone here attend the Fiqh of Love Seminar with Sh. Yaser Birjas?"

YES, Please...I would like to know how many marriages happened during or after this class among Durbaites...Insha'Allah :)

We are also planning to have this class in Bay Area this summer Insha'Allah...and I would like to see many of the sisters and brothers in HAADI get motivated and end up in marriage (for the right reasons, and with the best of ways)...Ameen.

So please pass the dish (with skinny) on this class, and let us know...

Ma'Assalaama

on February 15, 2006 2:37 PM
Bint Saeed said

Amazing, amazing, amazing class:) MashaAllah

on February 15, 2006 11:32 PM
saima said

Bint Saeed, I have two or so questions. Can I email you 'bout 'em (re: class)? I'll try Qabeelah Durbah too, but I'd like to ask someone I have some level of familiarity with.

Thanks,
Saima

on February 16, 2006 1:11 PM
gillette said

Uhh...perhaps Talal, HidayaOnline.com's founder, could further explain the purpose of this comments thread. Not having a real definition poses a problem when it's so easy for brothers and sisters to address comments to each other, sometimes even forgetting that they're addressing the opposite gender.

on February 17, 2006 5:01 PM
Talal said

Assalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullaah

As it was suggested in the comments that were removed, this is not the place to have a discussion for the sake of discussion. The issues mentioned are meant to be addressed to those with knowledge, and there is no benefit to be derived from our lackluster attempts at answering.

The learned do not have the time to ponder hypotheticals, and nor should we. If an issue exists, it should be sent to those who know, not HidayaOnline.com

There's just too much chance for something dangerous happening.

questions/comments to info@hidayaonline.com

salaams,
Talal
Editor-in-Chief, HidayaOnline.com

on February 19, 2006 12:36 AM
Justoju said

OMG, I love love LOVE this...


The Ethics of Disagreement in Islam: Knowledge and Refinement

Answered by Dr. Taha al-Alwani

http://www.sunnipath.com/Resources/Questions/QA00000011.aspx

on February 19, 2006 4:42 PM
Justoju said

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March 31st-April 2nd

For MEN & Boys (age 12)

Featuring: Ustadh Abdullah bin Hamid Ali

Arrive at 4:00 PM or come early for Salat-ul Jumu'ah!
Lodging and Meals

Where: Kirkwood Camp & Retreat Center
White Stone Corner Road & Beech Street Stroudsburg, PA
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Cost: $125-Adults, $100--Full time students under 18
and $75--2nd Son

$50 deposit due by February 15th 2006
Full payment due by March 15, 2006

Contact: Jelani Nyahum (609) 206-1129
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on February 20, 2006 9:06 AM
Amani said

Salaam Alaykum

"A woman will detest this because it criticizes them."

Actually, I didn't "detest" this until I read this line. To me, this line was the most insulting. I don't agree that a man would accept (or LOVE) criticism while a woman will hate it and reject it and I believe it's a bit presumptuous (not to mention unfair) to make such a general claim.

Wa Salaam

on February 21, 2006 7:13 AM
asef said

Salaam:

What has happened to all the writers on hidayaonline...seems like some kind of mental-constipation-flu running amock.

Come on folks, you have to write something, otherwise the stream of thoughts on Hidayaonline will be dwindling...and please not another convoluted article (like the last one) by Br. Gillette...two in a row is more than enough to last this forum a month.

By the way, how did the FOL class go in Durbah? Any new matrimonies?

Ma'Assalaama

on February 22, 2006 11:28 AM
saima said

"two in a row is more than enough to last this forum a month."

They weren't in a row. The Lookback section shows that after 'A Fairy Tale' it was 'Glad Tidings' and then 'A man'.

Yes, the hidaya readers would love to see more articles, please.

BTW -- should we have criticism, constructive or otherwise, re: the articles, we should address it to the writers, and the writers alone, not to the general public (unless, maybe, we fear the writing is going to do serious damage to the readers).

on February 22, 2006 2:50 PM
Bint Saeed said

Saima of course you can email me. Just recovering from an awesome class Masha'Allah, and working on an article for the hidayaers.

Wasalaam

on February 22, 2006 5:16 PM
amatullah said

I'm confused... In light of the article, if that's what 'a man' is...then where are all 'the men'? they sure are a rare species

on February 26, 2006 11:45 AM
amatullah said

The above isn't a criticism to the male gender by the way, just an observation

on February 26, 2006 11:47 AM
writer#34 said

Salaam:

"I'm confused... In light of the article, if that's what 'a man' is...then where are all 'the men'? they sure are a rare species"

Sigh! (a very heavy Sigh!)

Actually, men are everywhere...but what is missing are actions that define us as men...so in short, we are all men as defined by noun, But no verb to substantiate that title...

I hope we get more of a real men, in the next generation...ameen

Ma'Assalaama

on February 27, 2006 12:40 AM
Mohammed Irfan Shariff said

Assalamu-Alaikum,

This bruva..

Like Sienna's on I-95
And Alero's kickin' up odometer time
Thats so Hot
Thats so Fine
It used to be...
"I'll smack your face off"
then became
"I'll smack the taste out of your mouth"
ol' skool sayings...
when MCMC together we did mandatory prayings...

Like words from Hidaya from the Khajanga Mananga
I miss you bruva

I miss you...


I love the Poem... its soooo
Khaja..


-irfy

on March 9, 2006 4:11 PM
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